A veil hangs before my eyes
leaving me with a morbid intensity.
I always know what will happen
before it actullay does.
Yet, I never have the strength
to prevent these painful events.
Is this some abnormal talent,
or is my consience exceptionally loud.





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California is a lonely place; hearts wonder at 80 mph in a hurry to get nowhere fast.
I'm looking for love in all the wrong places, desperate for fulfillment.
Forces unnamed and misunderstood contradict logic and reason.
By choice, my path is bitterness, negativity, desolation--unconsciously.
I'm craving the unattainable with hopeless resignation and sorrow at my loss.
Bide my time patiently and quietly, spend my time grasping for attention.

California is a lonely place; people rush here and there and everywhere in-between.
Never find an end, forget the beginning, ignore the present.
Trust, loyalty, support… What? Sorry, friend, never heard of it.
Comfort is lost and forgotten, kindred souls are few and far between.
I strain and pull at the atmosphere for something tangible.
Something to hold, to cherish, to love, to appreciate.

California is a lonely place; the greatest love of all got lost along the journey.
Emptiness pervades all emotions, self depreciation is common.
Alone and lonely shrivel hand in hand with new meaning.
Pride and independence are neglected for fear of being pretentious.
I'm going with the flow as suggested, lacking an integral part.
Love yourself before loving another.

California is a lonely place; love hides behind the clouds.
Romance, friendship, and dignity forgot the west coast.
Adoration, infatuation, lust… Give and take to even the score.
Substitutions and synonyms to justify and rationalize the lack of love.
An all-encompassing emotion, yet missing in action.
California is a lonely place.





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A familiar face I've never met
glides carelessly away from me,
full of the confidence I so desperately
want, admire, need.
A name I can't remember or pronounce
in the presence of others or myself.
A chance meeting someday
to give me all that I desire.
The knowing shimmer in 
his smile and smirk
reminds me of what I am,
what I want, admire, need.
We meet at last,
I'm disapointed in myself.
I'll surely never achieve
all that I desire.
Everything in life is him,
what I want, admire, need.
My desire is overwhelming,
will I ever have it?





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Enlightenment...
Come walk with me sometime.
There's a wonderful world to walk in that requires no movement at all.
A beautiful labyrinth shrouded in mystical thought
glowing with internal wisdom.





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a woodmouse.
A small
and seemingly insignificant
creature of nature.

Appreciation of my appearances
varies from worst to best,
easily biased
and judged too quickly.

Quick wit of survival,
intelligence, and cunning,
all hide me
from my own fear.

Sleek, tense, and timid.
Bold in mind and spirit
but lacking
in physical prowess.

All ears-
always listening,
out of curiosuty
and a need to learn.

Hardly a sound or motion
ever noticed or made.
And those that are
often go unseen.





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Slipping through time
In a whir of euphoric passion.
Glowing green waves
Spinning  patterns
Of intriguing beauty and awe

Movement flowing at a rapidly slow pace;
Song and dance become one,
Defying reality
In powerful ehanced emotions

A touch so sensual,
So open and real.
Sweat and heat intensify
Tingling sensations
When my fingers glide along
a passing tricep or shoulder.
Meeting random strangers through
Gentle carresses, elated hugs, sweet kisses.

Little green triangles
Give five hours of bliss-
All is well,
The world at peace.
All reality is in ecstasy
At the will and grace of
The Man in the Moon.

Self imploring;
Looking for life, love-
To find one is the other.

July 11, 1999





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A powerful force
More than physical energy
An internal strength
That touches more than my body
Carressing my thoughts
My soul
With a gentle pressure
If your hands can bring so much pleasure
To my shoulders and back
I can only imagine
What else you're capable of





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The tall blades of grass and
colorful fireweed sway like
swift piano chords, the wind
being a talented musician.
As the nations bird swoops
over the top of the tree line,
the liquid sand rubs agains
the topsoil, creating an
indefinite border between 
two worlds; one with war
and hate, the other with
only a concern for survival.
The peak of the mountains
pierces the clouds, causing
them to rip into many
forms as the wind forces
them to tread on.  These
clouds are Gods cameras,
lenses reflecting our lives.





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A lifetime of vibrant words manipulates my thoughts.
A childhood long past reoccurs daily,
Reminding me of lessons I've learned.
Ardent memories and departed hallucinations
     join the collection of forgotten ideals.





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how is it
that a void
can fill

a deep mind
with utter discontenment
and dead weight

limp and exhausted
from the strain
of wonder and curiousity

inspired by everything
and encouraged by nothing





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