Seinfeld Quotes
"Sorry, the card says "moops"
"I'm much more comfortable criticizing people behind their backs"
"I drive them to lesbianism, he brings them back"
"Divorce is very difficult, especially on the kids. Of course, I'm the result of my parents staying together, so you never know"
"Was that wrong?"
"I would like to dip my bald head in oil and rub it all over your body"
"The sea was angry that day, my friends. Likle an old man trying to send back soup at a deli"
"I am constanza...Lord of the idiots"
"I broke the covent of the keys"
"...it's like a sauna in here"
"These pretzels are making me thirsty!"
"I'm out of the contest."
"I'm a hipster doofus."
"Who would refuse a Junior Mint?"
"I'm Cosmo Kramer, the Assmann!"
"I can't be with someone whose life is in shamles.
"Cause I'm like ice buddy. When I don't like you, you got problems."
"I'm a man that respects a good comma
"That is one magic lugie"
"Helloooooo!"
"Hello Newman!"
"The mohel circumcized my finger!"
"It's game of world domination played by two people who can't run their own lives."
"I can't go to a bad movie by myself. What, am I gonna make sarcastic remarks to strangers?"
"I'm going to hire you as my latex salesman? I don't think so."
"There had to be a second spitter!"
"The woman had an orgasm under flase pretenses. That's sexual perjury!"
"She had man hands!"
"I'm dating a virgin, I'm in a contest, something's gotta give!"
"But I don't wanna be a pirate!"
"Maybe the dingo ate your baby"
"A bird ran in to my gaint freak head"
"Stellllla!!!"
"I gotta get some new friends"
"Movie hot dogs?? I rather lick the food off the floor."
"I could drop you like a bag of dirt"
"Well, I'd watch the third base couch if I were you 'cause I don't think he's waving you in"
"You think you can pose me however you want? That's my ass in your window!"
"It's not fair that people are seated first-come, first-serve. It should be based on who's hungriest"
"The Soup Nazi threw me out!"
"Kramer, you don't understand. He made the last contact between us. I had the upper hand in the post-breakup relationship."
"Can't you see what's happened? I've become George...It's true, I'm George...I'M GEORGE!"
"Hmmmm, that job sounds like it might be worth a year's free haircuts, and a comb."
"Do you wanna know why you can't go in front first. I'll tell you why, because it signals a breakdown in the social order CHAOS, it reduces us to jungle law."
"I'm sure if we put our three heads together we will come up with something."
"Jambalaya!" © COPYRIGHT 1998 Marc
Image / Image Map of the junior mints gotten from Super Seinfeld. No intentional copyright infrigment was intended. If you know that it should not be here, email me immeditly!