The Sillier Side to Flowers

A YELLOW ROSE says, "I'm from Texas; wanna go roll in some hay?"

An ORANGE ROSE says, "I would be honored if you'd accompany me to the annual Halloween dance and dinner at the local VFW."

A PLAID ROSE says, "Let's spend a romantic evening in my basement eating Cheez Doodles while playing ‘Toss Across.’"

A MAUVE ROSE means, "I want to redecorate your apartment."

A CLEAR ROSE says, "Meet me by the concession stand at the NIN concert in a half an hour, my little railroad spike of love."

A FLORESCENT GREEN ROSE means: I'm so glad Cyndi Lauper has a comeback album!

A FLASHING YELLOW ROSE means: Proceed with caution.

A GOLD ROSE says, "I just made my fortune advertising O.J. t-shirts behind Robert Shapiro on CNBC. Wanna go out for chili-dogs?"

A BLACK ROSE says, "I'm sorry; I accidentally ran over your dog as it was lying asleep in your driveway. I sincerely hope this has no effect on our relationship as I would, in all likeli-hood never find another woman to date as long as I live. Due to my little acne problem. And the warts. Oh, who am I kidding? You couldn't possibly be attracted to a guy like me. It's the money, isn't it? Well, you can have all eleven million. I'll just be lying on the sidewalk in front of my 12-story apartment building until the fine officers come and scrape my lifeless sack of bones from the bloodied pavement. Burn in hell, you bittttttt---"

A PURPLE ROSE says, "I like you a great deal but my son is the heir to the throne and my mother, the Queen, probably thinks you're a slut. Not that we can't meet in this hotel room once a week.

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