KIMMIS
Highlander Clone Line
Page Two
Zen Xavier St. Cloud
Do you wonder what the sound of one hand clapping sounds like? Find out with this champagne and caviar clone (please no Russian caviar, Iranian only). This clone is guaranteed to drive you crazy. Gas mask optional and please no virgins.
Hedonistic Xavier
If the standard tough guy kimmis have lost their charm we invite you to try this model. Cool sophistication, passionate decadence and a sparkling touch of treachery make this clone a model you won't turn your back on, or turn your checkbook over to. If you didn't appreciate the finer things in life before acquiring this model, you will -- and neither you nor your credit cards will ever be the same. Spoil him and yourself to the limit of your finances! Complementary starter pack of Moet et Chandon and caviar included. We accept no responsibility for this model's actions should the level of high living he demands not be maintained.
Kurgan Clones: Disclaimer and warning!
You think Kronos is a wimp? The Four Horsemen just not bad enough for you?
This limited clone line is just for you then... The Original Kimmi The
Kurgan. If you order one of these clones Clones R Us requires a statement
absolving us of any responsibility for damage done by them.
Contemporary Kurgan
Looking for that someone who possesses the Joy of Living? This Kurgan clone is the one for you. From midnight drives through the city singing along with the radio to back alley fights in the worst part of town, Kurgan is ready, willing and quite eager to accompany you. Ever want to visit a biker bar? This model would be the perfect date, no one would think twice about bothering you once they set eyes on him. You'll feel fully protected -- except against the Kurgan of course!
Not a Knight in Shining Armour Kurgan
Like to live dangerously? This clone was born to a nomadic tribe from the Steppes of Russia, where hardship and battle was a way of life. We're sure once you introduce him to the modern necessities and luxuries of the 20th Century, he'll make an interesting companion for you. Being evil takes a lot of his time, however if you feel up to the challenge, I'm sure he would be willing to turn his focus directly onto you. Mold him, shape him, make of him what you will...just be prepared for an occasional "battle or two" along the way.
Kurgan in Disguise
This model is attempting to hide from the police. He has never learned the
art of subtlety. Earplugs for those times he
feels like bursting into song are sold separately. Avoid nuns and priests
when you take this clone out. Any misbehaviour of this clone is not a
defect but an essential part of the 'charm' of this particular model. Warning: do not let this clone drive any motor vehicle unless you are involved in a demolition derby.
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