Her night and day since then had been filled with the remembrance
  of those heart pounding seconds when her world had been narrowed
  down to the flashing images of Xander shouting and then falling
  before the point of the arrow that had been meant for her.

  Buffy drew a ragged breath and tried to clear her mind of it all. A
  noise outside her window caught her attention. Thankful of the
  disruption she leaned out slightly and saw Angel just outside.

  Seeing her Angel called out softly up to her, "Buffy. Can I come
  in?"

  "Wait, hold on actually. I'll be right down." She threw down her
  bag and a few moments later she was down in the ground next to him.
  "You just caught me. I was just about to head out for the night."

  "I'm glad that I was in time then." Looking more closely at her
  pale face and eyes ringed by lack of sleep Angel asked, "Are you
  alright?"

  "I'm fine." Buffy drew her hand through her hair in a self-
  conscious gesture knowing that she looked like hell.

  "How's Xander?" Angel asked intently.

  "He's o.k. I talked to him a little while ago. Thank you for
  helping Xander last night. I wouldn't have know what to do with an
  arrow wound like that," she said gratefully.

  "It's no problem," Angel shrugged. "It was the least I could do.
  He's the one who saved us from that ambush."

  "Yah and was almost killed," she said in nearly a monotone that
  didn't quite cover her horror.

  "But he's o.k.," Angel said trying to assuage her.

  "This time," Buffy shook her head despairingly. "I can't do this. I
  can't watch him get hurt or get killed because of me."

  Angel gave her a long considering look. "You love him don't you."
  It was more of a statement than question.

  Her response was automatic. "Of course I love him. He's my best
  friend."

  "Buffy. Look at me, " Angel demanded. Her eyes met his and Angel
  said distinctly, "You're IN love with him."

  Buffy's mouth opened, but she remained speechless for a moment. Her
  initial reaction was denial. Then instead of responding she asked,
  "Why on earth would you say that?"

  "Buffy, I told you that things have changed. I was looking for you
  the other night at the Bonze and I saw you dancing with him. I had
  a pretty good inkling then. Last night I was certain of it."

  Buffy remembered exactly how she felt when she and Xander had been
  dancing at the Bronze. And last night, her heart felt as if it had
  been shredded when Xander had been hurt. Then various other images
  of them together over the last year flooded her mind. It all added
  up to one crystalline clear truth. < I do love Xander. >

  "I don't know what to say," Buffy faltered. She couldn't look Angel
  in the eye. The last thing she wanted to do was hurt him. "I want
  to tell you that I'm still in love with you Angel, but…it's not
  true anymore."

  Angel hurried to reassure her, "Buffy it's alright I understand. I
  never expected you to wait for me. Don't feel bad about this, about
  me. Things are different and I've changed too. The paths we've
  taken have lead us to different places."

  His words were sincere and without any recriminations and
  understanding dawned on Buffy, "You're not in love with me anymore
  either are you?"

  Now it was Angel's turn to shift his eyes away from hers. He felt
  freed by Buffy's words, free to love Willow without any reproach.
  He was truly glad that Buffy had found love. < Hell, Xander may
  even deserve her love now. > But still, he felt he shouldn't feel
  quite so relieved.

  "Buffy I'll always love you, just not the way…." his voice trailed
  off.

  "You don't have to explain anything. Its like you said we've both
  changed." Buffy sighed, "Why can't things be simple?"

  Angel gave her a half-smile, "It is simple. You've found someone to
  love who loves you back."

  Buffy's brain was analyzing and re-analyzing things. The romantic
  feelings that Xander once had for her had seemed to disappear over
  time. He had certainly never let on that he still loved her that
  way. Maybe now it was too late to go back. "I don't know Angel.
  Things do change and Xander may have been in love with me once, I'm
  not so sure he does now."

  "I've seen the way he looks at you. Xander loves you," Angel stated
  categorically. < I can't believe I'm playing matchmaker! > he
  thought almost amused.

  "You think so?" Buffy's eyes were wide with hope.

  Angel raised one eyebrow in disbelief. "I don't see how you can
  doubt it. If he's not in love with you, I'll-I'll drink rat's blood
  for the rest of my unnatural life!"

  Buffy scrunched her nose at the disgusting thought. She didn't know
  that much about Angel's eating habits, other than the fact he
  didn't dine on human blood. But she *did* know that as far as
  substitutes went, rat was as low as you could go. "Yew! O.K.,
  alright! You must be pretty sure to go with that bet."

  "I'm sure."

  Their conversation which happily tied up the loose ends of their
  relationship, had lifted both their spirits, but Angel still had to
  tell her about his original purpose in coming to see her. "I'm
  leaving tonight," he said abruptly. "I didn't want to leave this
  time without a good-bye."

  "Tonight?" Buffy was definitely taken aback. "You're leaving so
  soon? It doesn't have anything to do with me does it?"

  "No. Of course not."

  "O.k. Angel, spill." Buffy said bluntly. "There's this look in
  your eyes. Something's going on here. I want to know what it is and
  I want to know right now."

  Angel told her in detail about why and when Willow had left Rome
  and his own search for her. While he spoke, Buffy's eyes widened
  with shock but she didn't interrupt.

  When he'd finished she merely said, "It sounds like something
  Willow would do. Why does she always have to be so damn noble."
  Buffy shook her head, desperately worried again now about her
  friend.

  Angel saw her anxiety and said resolutely, "I'm going to find her."

  "I know you will. And when you see her Angel - tell her that we
  miss her and that we love her."

  "I will. I promise." Angel opened his mouth to start to say good-
  bye but Buffy stopped him.

  "Don't. Don't say good-bye, just…see you later. Okay.?"

  Angel reached down to hug his former love good-bye. He still felt
  so much tenderness toward her and was gladdened that they would
  part friends. Stepping back a little he smiled and said, "See you
  later Buffy."

  Angel looked up then and met Xander's stricken eyes.

  Xander had come to Buffy's house to let her see how well he was
  doing and how quickly he was recovering. The scene that greeted him
  at her house had been to his defeated gaze quite the lover's tryst.
  Angel and Buffy stood beneath the light which filtered down from
  her bedroom window, romantically silhouetted in the dark of the
  evening. Xander had watched them embrace and seeing Buffy looking
  up at Angel with her head tilted back as if waiting for a kiss,
  Xander felt his heart crumble into little pieces. His eyes locked
  momentarily with Angel's when the vampire looked up to see him
  standing there frozen in place. Xander fancied a silent
  communication passed between them. < You win Angel. >

  Xander didn't need or want to see anymore. He swiftly turned around
  and nearly ran in the direction of his house.

  Letting Buffy go, Angel nodded in the direction of his retreating
  figure. "Xander -he saw us. I think he has the wrong impression."

  "Oh no!" Buffy stood for a moment not knowing what to do.

  "Go after him Buffy and tell him how you feel. More than that show
  him." Angel prodded.

  "Thanks."Buffy hugged him one more time before leaving.

  "Good luck," Angel wished sincerely.

  Buffy, already running after Xander, turned around. "You too
  Angel!"

  Angel gave a bitter-sweet smile. He had the distinct feeling that
  Buffy had a glimmer of understanding about his feelings toward
  Willow. He pulled out from his pocket the printout that Ms.
  Calendar had given him. Clutching it in his hand he too left.

  He had a plane to catch.

  *~*~*~*

  Buffy jogged, slowing down from her near sprint as she neared
  Xander. "Xander wait!" she called out to him.

  Xander took a deep breath. He turned around and was astonished as
  Buffy threw herself against him and kissed him lingeringly on his
  lips.

  "W-w-what was that for?" Xander stammered, his eyes wide.

  "Something we should have done that a long time ago!" Buffy
  whispered. The kiss had been totally unplanned, but it took her
  breath away and she couldn't help herself as she went in to kiss
  him again.

  But Xander held her back, "Are you possessed? You've got to be
  possessed!"

  "I'm not possessed Xander," Buffy said now hesitant. This wasn't
  exactly the reaction she had been hoping for.

  "I mean, but I thought…you, Angel…" he sputtered. At this point
  rational sentence structure was almost beyond him.

  "Angel's leaving. He's going back to Europe."

  Her matter of fact tone confused Xander. "I don't understand. I
  thought that Angel came back for you and that you were going to be
  together," he said his eyebrows drawn together in an expression of
  bewilderment.

  "For the longest time I thought loved Angel. Until he came back, I
  just assumed that I still loved him. But I don't. There just isn't
  the same feelings there had been between us. I don't feel the same
  way about him because of you," she said earnestly.

  "If you're possessed I gotta tell Giles not to be too quick to find
  a spell to reverse this." Xander was dazed by this complete change
  from what he had been feeling only a short time ago. < This is just
  not happening. It's a dream. I've completely lost it and am now
  totally immersed in a fantasy world. That has to be it. >

  "I told you, I'm in complete control of myself and I know exactly
  what I'm saying." Buffy paused and then plunged ahead. "I love
  you."

  "Oh god, Buffy," Xander almost groaned. "Please don't say that
  unless you really mean it. I've loved you for so long and hearing
  you say it seems almost unreal."

  Happiness shot through Buffy as she realized what he just admitted.
  "I love you Xander and I'll keep saying it until you believe it."

  "You're going to be saying it a lot then. But wait, so what I saw
  just now at your house was a good-bye clinch?" Xander raised his
  eyebrows.

  "No. Well, yes," Buffy said a little flustered.

  "Oh, yah. Now that's real clear."

  "Well it wasn't a clinch! It was just good-bye." Seeing a remnant
  of disbelief in his face she continued. "Listen to me Xander. Angel
  was my first love, my first infatuation and all. But I've gotten
  over him. Completely. I know that I can go on without him. I
  wouldn't be able to go on without you. You're everything to me."

  Searching Buffy's eyes, Xander saw only conviction and love. To his
  wonderment and awe he realized this woman really and truly loved
  him. Xander's heart pounded slow painful beats against his chest.
  It felt as if he was about to burst with happiness.

  "I love you Buffy," he said hoarsely.

  His hands came up to cup her face, and he leaned down and kissed
  her. Savoring the contact, for long moments he only brushed his
  lips against hers. Then the slow, sweet kiss deepened and they lost
  themselves in each other. Buffy's arms were twining themselves
  around his neck when she accidentally brushed up against a
  sensitive area of his shoulder. Xander couldn't help but winced
  slightly.

  "Oh god. I'm sorry did I hurt you?" Buffy suddenly realized.

  "I'm fine. Its just a scratch," he tried to scoffed at her concern.
  "And really, honestly if you give me another kiss like that, I bet
  it'll make all the hurt go bye-bye."

  But all Buffy's worry and pain of the last twenty-four hours
  resurfaced and overwhelmed her. "No. Don't brush this off. I almost
  lost you last night! And I…" Her eyes began to brim with tears.
  "The life span of your average slayer isn't all that long Xander,
  and I don't want to spend the rest of mine bringing flowers to your
  grave. Promise me. Promise that you won't ever do that again!"

  "Promise what?" he demanded. "That I won't do everything in my
  power to make sure that you don't get hurt? That I won't put myself
  in danger to save you? Fine. I will. But only if you promise the
  same exact thing."

  Buffy looked away from him, "You know I can't do that."

  "Neither can I," he said intensely. "I love you too much."

  Buffy just leaned against him, wishing with all her might that they
  could be a regular pair of teenagers in love, that they didn't have
  to constantly worry about who was going to try and kill them next.
  Finally she looked up at him and said gravely, "Then I suppose
  there's only one thing we can do."

  "What's that?" Xander asked uncertainly.

  "Make the most of the time we have." Buffy kissed him once more and
  whispered against his mouth, "Let's not waste another minute."

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