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Warning: long analysis ahead.

  This is a message from a former anti-Willow/Xander shipper:
  Xander and Willow should be together.

  Here's the reason: As much as Willow cares
  about Oz, she does not love him, and as a couple
  they lack passion.

  We've seen evidence of their *caring* in several episodes.
  Willow protects and supports Oz in "Phases" and "AMAB." In
  "Anne," despite being the farthest away from Willow, Oz
  manages to get to her fastest when she is attacked by a vampire.

  Oz seems to love and care for Willow unconditionally. He
  likes her in Eskimo outfits, in "slutty" outfits, when she's
  smart and when she's a talkative spaz. He even admits that he
  loves her. In the last scene of “Phases” we find out the Oz is in
  love with Willow, when he says, "A werewolf in love" as she
  walks away.

  This unconditionality is something that seems to be missing in
  Willow. She always seems to need to *find* reasons to like Oz.
  She has to qualify her relationship with him. For example,
  "Surprise," when Buffy mentions Oz, the best thing that Willow
  can say is, 'I like his hands." Admittedly this is early in the
  relationship, but it is indicative of her attitude in episodes to
  come. In the third, season her greatest endorsement of him seems
  to be his mind. In "Anne," she is very upset that he flunked,
  because his test scores say that he is a genius. In “AMAB,” when
  Oz mentions that he aced his Biology final, she says,
  "That's because you showed up." In the most recent episode,
  she brags about the fact that he had the highest SAT score of any
  person that ever flunked.

  Willow also seems to like him because of his association with a
  band. There are many instances where she shows or states how
  cool she thinks his being in a band is. Dating Oz, she is no longer
  Geek-Hacker-Girl-with -Loser-Friends. She becomes the
  Girlfriend-of-a-Guy-in-a-Cool-Band. She cares for Oz, because
  of what can do and because of what he does for her. I'm not
  deriding the girl; this is just how I see it.

  In the beginning, I stated that Oz and Willow seem to lack
  passion; they do. We've seen them kiss twice (In "Phases" and
  "F,H&T), and neither kiss was very extraordinary. The best
  description would be "cute."

  The most passionate kiss that Willow has ever received on the
  show was from Xander in "Homecoming." Contrary to what she
  feels for Oz, she loves Xander with all of his shortcomings. She
  knows him inside and out. She loves him whether he is smart,
  dumb, insensitive, sensitive, a jerk or a sweetheart. She may get
  angry at him, but she forgives him his tresspasses and she doesn't
  judge him. Ever.

  Xander and Cordelia

  Now, Xander and Cordy seem to have an excess of passion.
  Their relationship is primarily based on sex, although they do
  have tender feelings for each other. These two could not
  maintain a long distance romance based on phone calls, e-mails
  and letters. The physical distance would be too great. This is
  what happened in "Anne." Cordy left over the summer, and when
  she returned they had trouble reconnecting. Apparently they had
  no contact while she was away. Most people call and write the
  ones they love during a separation. When they saw each other,
  for the first time in several months, neither had anything to say.
  They didn't reconnect until she fell on top of him, and they

  Another problem is that their relationship is mainly based on
  negatives. Cordy loves him *despite* the fact that he
  is a badly dressed dork, who hangs out with dangerous people in
  dangerous situations, makes fun of her value system and mocks
  her at every turn. Xander likes Cordy *despite* the fact that she
  is vapid, materialistic, self-centered, tactless, and often bitchy.

  Cordy, I think is genuinely in love with Xander. She admits to
  being in love with him in "Homecoming" and even promises to
  stay with his when she thinks he has turned into a monster in "Go
  Fish.” Also in "Band Candy," Cordelia separates her life as BX
  (before Xander) and after Xander. In dating Xander, Cordy has
  sacrificed a great deal: her uncontested reign as Queen C of
  Sunnydale High, as well a any sense of safety.

  Xander on the other hand has sacrificed nothing in his pursuit of
  Cordelia. He has had to deal with some blows to his ego, but he
  is still dating one of the most popular girls in school. I think that
  Xander cares for Cordy, but he does not love her. My
  only definitive proof of this is the fact that he has never said
  anything about love and his recent behavior toward Willow.

  When he kissed Willow, it was completely natural and
  passionate. In the past, Xander had been unable to love Willow
  romantically, because in his eyes she was an eternal child, the
  little girl in pigtails and footy pajamas that grew to be a gawky
  girl that helped him with his homework and loved him. When he
  saw her in that dress he realized that she was a desirable woman
  for the first time. Willow became the fantasy beloved-- beautiful,
  smart and loving. She knows everything about him and loves
  every part of him, good and bad. I must emphasize that the
  friendly love that Xander had felt for her in the past DID NOT
  suddenly turn into romantic love. Xander has *re-fallen* in love
  with the *woman* that Willow has become and has left the
  childhood love behind forever.

  A similar thing happened to Willow. I think that between seasons
  two and three she honestly fell *out* of love with Xander. She
  did her best to attach those feelings to Oz, but to no avail. In the
  dressing scene from "Homecoming" she asks, "Since when were
  you a gentleman?" Then she sees him in his tux. She wasn't just
  seeing a good looking guy in a tux; she was *re-seeing* Xander.
  She had fallen out of love with her childhood crush, now she was
  confronted with the man of her dreams. In that moment she saw
  Xander as a man and fell in love with that man.

  As much as I love Oz (and I do love that guy-- he is such a
  sweetie) and have come to like Cordy, they deserve better than to
  have lovers that don't love them completely. I don't want either
  one of them to get their hearts broken, but it inevitable. Willow
  and Xander's love won't be denied for long.


  God, that was exhausting! Thanks for reading to the end. I had to
  get that out.


Did everyone see the episode "Homecoming"?

  AARRGH!!! It would be less painful if somebody'd STAKE ME!!! Xander's
  still not good enough for her! It's time for all true Willow / Oz
  'Shippers to unite and save our adorable little hacker from the evil
  closet dwelling fiend that is Xander!! I'd rather see her stake Dru
  and run off to live vampily ever after with Spike, than watch her get
  together with hyena-boy!

  At least they have the decency to feel guilty afterwards. Hopefully,
  it's just the start of a short angsty bit and they'll get over it. If
  they don't, I'll be dreaming of Xander running into a very ticked-off
  werewolf... And no Slayers to save his sorry rear-end. Can you say
  hyena flavored chew-toy? I knew you could...

  By Disciple of Moloch

Spoiler Warning :When She Was Bad,Inca Mummy Girl, and Phases.

  This about xander/willow. What greater love has a man than that he lay down
  his life for a friend?

  "He reaches up with his napkin and gently wipes off her nose. He takes
  much longer than he needs to and looks into her eyes. He brushes his
  hand against her cheek. After another moment he starts to move in for
  a kiss. She responds in kind and tilts her head. They stop just short
  of  making contact and linger there a moment. Xander finally begins to
  pull back, and when he does he sees a vampire standing on the other side
  of  the wall. Willow notices his glance and looks, too. She screams and
  jumps off of the wall as Xander pulls her away from the vampire.

  Xander: Willow, go!

  He puts himself between her and the vampire. She doesn't go, but
  watches as he punches the vampire in the face. The vampire isn't fazed. He
  grabs Xander and tries to bite. Xander struggles with him to keep from
  being bitten. After a few moments of wrestling a hand grabs the vampire by
  the shoulder and pulls him off of Xander. It's a girl, and she punches
  the vampire in the face, knees him in the crotch and flips him over onto
  his back. She turns to Willow and Xander."

  - from the slayerfanfic.com's transcript of when she was bad

  So here we see that he is willing to fight a vampire *bare-handed* to protect
  Willow. He knows this is practically suicide. He has seen what vampires can do.Certain death.

  "Buffy: (turns away) We, we just have to think. Where would they have
  taken them?

  Xander: (vehemently) If they hurt Willow, I'll kill you."

  - from the slayerfanc.com transcript of when she was bad

  This is so you know that he cares about Willow way more than he cares about

  " Xander: (hops off of the counter) So, I guess we're dance bound.
  Cool. I think I can get my mom's car, so I'm wheel man.

  Buffy: I thought you were taking Willow.

  Xander: Well, yeah, I'm gonna take Willow, but I'm not gonna *take*
  Willow. In the sense of 'take me'. See, with you we're three and
  everybody's safe. Without you, we're two.

  Buffy: Ah, and we enter dateville. Romance, flowers...

  Xander: Lips. "*here we see that he HAS THOUGH ABOUT IT*

  Willow comes into the library, but Xander's back is to the door so he
  doesn't see her. Buffy pretends not to notice her.

  Buffy: Oh, come on. In all the years you've know Willow, you've
  never thought about her lips?

  Xander: Buffy, I love Willow...And she's my best friend. Which makes
  her not the kind of girl who I think about her lips that much. *you notice the _AND_
  conjunction right?*

  Willow's smile fades to disappointment.

  Xander: She's the kind of girl that... I'm best friends with.

  Willow: Hey guys.

  Xander: Willow! (goes to her) Hi! We were just talkin' about happy

  -from slayerfanfic.com's transcript of inca mummy girl

  When i saw the episode it seemed to me he was afraid of becoming
  romantically involved because he worried that it would ruin their friendship.

  "Ampata: This won't hurt!

  Willow begins to choke. Ampata moves in to kiss her.

  Xander: Let her go! (calmly walks in) If you're gonna kiss anybody,
  it should be me.

  Ampata: Xander, we can be together. (looks at Willow) Just... just
  let me have this one.

  Xander: That's never gonna happen.

  Ampata: I must do it. I must do it now! Or it is the end for me and
  for us!

  She tries to kiss Willow again, but Xander jumps in to stop her.

  Xander: NO! (pulls Willow away from her) You want life? You're gonna
  have to take mine. Can you do that?

  Ampata looks into his eyes as she considers. Her skin has mummified
  up to her neck.

  Ampata: Yes!

  She grabs his neck and tries to pull him to her as he holds her away
  by her arms. Buffy kicks at the lid of the coffin and gets it open.
  Xander keeps holding Ampata at bay and watches as she turns back into a
  mummy. Buffy comes up behind Ampata and pulls her off of Xander. His grip on
  hers arms is so tight that they are torn from their sockets. Xander
  is freaked out and drops them. Buffy looks at Ampata's body and drops
  it, too. The head breaks off of the body as it hits the floor. Buffy is
  grossed out. Willow just stares at what's left, then looks at Xander
  and comes over to him. She crouches down next to him, holding his arm and
  rubbing his shoulder. He looks up at her a moment, then back down at
  his hands. Giles is out of the coffin now, and he and Buffy collect them
  to go. Giles looks back briefly as they leave the exhibit.

  -from slayerfanfic.com's transcript of inca mummy girl.

  Again we see Xander lay down his life for Willow.(I mean getting your life force
  sucked out ...definate death factor)

  And like the quote at the beginning of this says...that is the greatest love...

  I should add that i think Willow is the right girl for Xander but I'm not
  sure Xander is the right guy for Willow. In fact i think she should keep Oz
  _and_ take Xander away from Cordelia (not that she doesn't already).



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