I don't know how long I stayed in the bathroom, leaning on the counter fighting tears, but it wasn't very long, and certainly not long enough. I wanted to hide in there forever, or go home and crawl under the covers of the bed where Lucky and I had shared. I needed to be alone with my thoughts and dreams, with the memories of Lucky.Lucky Spencer had been my knight in shining armor. He had saved me from myself, he had given me back my life when I thought I didn't want to live another day. He had held my heart and my soul in his hands, he had healed me and made me whole, he had promised me forever, and then he had vanished without a trace.
I'd gone to bed that night right after dinner because I didn't feel well. I wasn't eating much, and what I did eat didn't stay down long. Lucky begged me to go to a doctor, I promised him I would, if I wasn't better by morning. He just rolled his eyes, and I kissed him goodnight. There was a note on the table when I woke, he'd gone to the store and he'd be back soon.
He never came back. He never came back, and I never got to tell him I wasn't sick. I was pregnant, with his child. I didn't get to see his face light up when he found out he was going to be a daddy. I didn't get to feel his arms around me when he told me he loved us, me and the baby, our child.
All that had been ripped away from me. My baby girl would never know her daddy, and it wasn't fair! It just was not fair! Lucky would have been such a great father, and Loren would have been the biggest Daddy's Girl this world ever saw. He would have adored her, he would have made sure she felt like a queen. And she would have made his life complete.
When I stumbled back to the playground, Emily was bent down tying Chase's shoes. She looked at me over her shoulder and smiled, then stood up with Chase in her arms. Loren ran to me and I stooped down to pick her up. "How's my girl?"
"A better question would be how are you?" Emily asked, coming toward me. I tried to look at her, but Chase...I couldn't tear my eyes from the child's face...it was Lucky...he looked exactly like Lucky! Those were Lucky's beautiful blue eyes staring at me, that nose, that mouth...Lucky...
"Get that kid away from me!" I closed my eyes and leaned my head onto Loren's chest.
"Elizabeth? What's wrong?" Emily patted my shoulder.
I looked up and met her eyes. "You'll think Ive finally lost it, but here goes." My eyes shifted to the child Emily held. Chase...Chase...what was his last name? I didn't even know. "When I picked him up a few minutes ago and he touched my hair...it was like it was Lucky...Like Lucky was talking to me through this child. Look at him, Em! Look at his face, his eyes...everything!"
"Elizabeth..."
"Emily! Look at him!" I screamed and held Loren up beside him. "These two look like they could be twins!"
"Elizabeth, Lucky is dead."
"We don't know that for sure! We don't know what happened to him!" I pulled Loren back and buried my face in her chest.
"Elizabeth..."
After a minute or two and several deep breaths, I looked up, tears streaking my face. Loren wiped my face with her tiny hands. "Don't cry, Mama," she whispered, which only made me cry harder.
"Go," Emily jerked her head toward the door. I nodded and carried Loren inside. I went to sit at one of the tables with Loren in my lap and attempted to get myself put back together.