Emily was afraid to let me go home alone at the end of the day, and insisted we leave my car at the day care. She drove me home to get a few things for Loren and myself, and we told Loren we were going to have a sleep over with Aunt Emily and Uncle Nikolas."Yay!" Loren clapped her chubby little hands together. Even when she was very small she had always loved to go to Aunt Emily and Uncle Nikolas' house. Nikolas would take her on his knee and play with her, seemingly as tireless as she.
Sometimes I think Nikolas needed Loren as much as I did. He loved to spend time with her because she was Lucky's child and she reminded him so much of his brother. He missed Lucky so much, sometimes he couldn't bear the thought of never seeing him again. They were just starting to get close and then Lucky was gone. Being with Loren made him feel close to Lucky. She looked so much like him and had those same deep blue eyes, Lucky's eyes.
I thought briefly of the night Nikolas and I had sat in the kitchen all night long, talking about life and love and Lucky. We had talked about Loren, and I will never forget the sound of his voice when he told me Loren's smile sent shivers up his spine. "When she smiles that sweet smile of hers, I swear I can see Lucky in there, living in her."
I swear I felt my heart shatter into a million pieces then. Until that moment, I had never really even thought about how broken and alone Nikolas was without his brother. I made a conscious effort after that night to make sure Nikolas felt like an important part of Loren's life. She might never see her father in the flesh, but she could have the next best thing, she could have his brother.
Nikolas assumed the role of father figure for Loren, without trying to take Lucky's place. Loren and I spent most of our time away from the day care with Aunt Emily and Uncle Nikolas, and Loren loved every minute of it, because as long as Uncle Nikolas was around, she could get away with just about anything.
Nikolas came out of the house when we pulled into the drive. Loren started clapping again, and kicking her feet. "Uncle Nikki!" she called out, grinning from ear to ear.
Nikolas opened the door, smiled at me, leaned in to kiss his wife, then freed Loren from the restraints of her car seat. She locked her arms around his neck and he squeezed her just as intensely. "How's my favorite girl?"
"I'm fine, thanks for asking." Emily climbed out of the car and kissed Nikolas over Loren's head.
"Uncle Nikki! My daddy comed to school today!" Loren announced. Nikolas looked up at me, and met my eyes. I closed mine and took a deep breath to keep myself under control.
"What do you mean, baby?" Nikolas kissed her cheek, but was still looking at me.
"Hims made Mama upset."
"We'll talk," Emily whispered and touched Nikolas's shoulder as she passed him on her way to the front door. Nikolas waited for me to come around the car and we walked up to the house together, he held Loren on one arm and draped the other over my shoulder.