I went to lay down after dinner, knowing Loren was in good hands. Nikolas would play with her and put her to bed, and he would love every minute of it. And Loren...Loren would talk about it for days.I closed my eyes, but sleep did not come. I tossed and turned, moaning fitfully. I was only half awake, trapped in that strange netherland where a thousand thoughts and images came racing all at once. Suddenly I was in the diner that Lucky's Aunt Ruby owned, our favorite hang out when we were in school. Music was playing, a sweet, slow love song. There was no one else there; only Lucky and me. Ruby had closed early and I had made dinner for Lucky, Nikolas, and Emily. Nik and Em had already left, leaving me and Lucky alone to dance. It was such a sweet dream, he was holding me so close, his face in my hair, not really dancing, just swaying to the music, feeling such love, such peace as I had not known in a long time.
We stayed this way for some time until finally he pulled away from for a moment to look into my eyes. I held his gaze, each of us staring into the other's soul, until he finally broke the intensity and put his hand on the side of my face...his fingers soft and light, gently as a butterfly landing on my cheek.
We closed our eyes as he bent forward, and in the moment that his lips met mine, I sat up straight in the bed, my hands over my racing heart. I stumbled from beneath the sheets and blankets tangled on my legs and nearly fell to the floor in my frenzy. "Loren!" I screamed, Loren, there was something wrong with Loren...
I crashed into the walls in my panic. "Loren! Mommy's coming, Loren!" I reached her room and flung myself across the empty bed. "Loren!"
"Elizabeth?" a voice spoke from behind me. I sensed someone coming toward me, and when I looked up, it was Lucky. I backed away from him, holding my arms out to ward him off, my two index fingers meeting in a cross.
"Get away from me!" I screamed at him. "You're not real! Go away!"
"Elizabeth," he changed his steps, like he was approaching a strange and frightened dog. "It's all right."
"No! You're dead! You're not real!"
"It's me, Elizabeth, it's Nikolas." He knelt a few feet from me. I shook my head, but my vision was clearing and I could see the dark hair and he was bigger than Lucky, taller, darker. "Loren is downstairs with Emily."
"And Lucky?" I whispered weakly.
"Lucky is gone, Elizabeth. You know that."
I nodded and moved forward, allowing Nikolas to take me in his arms. He caught me against his chest and picked me up, planting soft kisses on my face while he carried me back to my bed. He lay me down and covered me, then sat beside me until I fell asleep.