I woke several times during the night, always with the dream of dancing with Lucky just beyond my reach. I sat up in the bed, shaking and crying each time, and feeling like something was terribly wrong with Loren. I would stumble down the hall to check on her, and of course she would be fine, sleeping peacefully with her blankey and her teddy that had been Lucky's gift to me our first Christmas together.When I woke after daybreak, it was the dream that woke me again. I just sat in the bed for a long moment, trying to get my heartbeat and my breathing under control. Loren was fine, I knew Loren was fine. I could hear her giggling downstairs.
I glanced at the clock, and I was surprised to see the digital read out said it was ten after eight. "Shit!" I jumped out of bed and dug in my bag for my clothes. I was already late for work.
Nikolas and Loren were in the hallway waiting for me when I came out of the bathroom. I felt a sudden wave of nausea and panic at the sight of him, Lucky's brother, holding her, Lucky's daughter. I stepped backward, into the bathroom again, and backed myself against the sink.
"Stay away from me!" I screamed at him.
He regarded me for a long moment, even as he knelt and put Loren on her feet. "Honey, why don't you go play in the bedroom for a minute? Will you do that for me?"
She nodded, her long blonde hair falling a little over her face, causing her to brush it away in a move that made me think of Lucky again. I closed my eyes, I couldn't bear to think of Lucky and watch Loren run from my sight.
"Elizabeth?"
"I'm late for work, Nikolas." I tried to sound like I meant it, but my voice cracked and shook anyway. I swallowed hard and tried to keep my head up, even though it felt like it weighed a thousand pounds.
"Emily already talked to your boss. You've got the day off."
"You had no right to do that!" I screamed and flew at him, landing my fists against his chest.
He caught his hands around my wrists and pulled me to him. "You shouldn't be around those kids today, Elizabeth. You need to calm down."
He was right, I knew he was right. I wouldn't be any good to anyone at the day care today. But I wanted to go, I needed to go. I needed to see Chase, and I needed to see Chase's daddy. Lucky.
I crumpled into a blubbering heap on the floor, and Nikolas came to me. He lifted me into his arms and carried me back to the bed. "Okay, Elizabeth. It's going to be okay. We'll get you through this, I promise."
"I love you, Lucky," I murmured, my face buried in his neck as he lay me down. He started to pull away, but I grabbed his face in my hands and brought his mouth to mine.
"Elizabeth!" He jumped back, tearing away from me, stumbling back and colliding with the wall behind himself.
I saw him, saw his brown eyes and his almost-black hair and my entire body shut down. I threw myself forward, so I was face down and crying into the bedclothes. "Lucky! Lucky!"
"Shh..." Nikolas came to me, sat beside me, and stroked my hair.