Adion Coolman's Simpsons Barney's Best Lines Page 1

• Barney's Best Lines until 24/06/96 

Dressed in a bikini singing the theme song to "I Dream of Genie." Hey kids it's me, your old friend Crunchy the Clown Hey marge turn out that light ! Homer's not made of money you know. Wheel her in Homer, (burp) I'm not a picky man (of selma)

dont cry for me, i'm already dead

hook straight into my veins

Homer on BBq : wow barney you brought a whole keg Barney : yeah, where can i fill it up???

Also, when Homer and Barney went to do the Duff Brewery, when Homer was escaping out of the Power Plant and Barney was outside with his with a mattrace on the top. "Hey, that looks like Princess Di"; Barney Homer falls down on the ground because Barney moved the car. "No, its just a pile of rags"; Barney

In the "Who Shot Mr. Burns" episode, Barney complains about the barflies getting wasted on the fumes from the oil refinery "Where's the inflated sense of self-esteem?!" Anyhow, when they all go off to the town meeting, Barney gets his little Saturday Night Special and says "Now THERE'S the inflated sense of self-esteem!"

The other is when Moe goes off to kill Jimbo, and Barney is laying on the bar with his mouth under the tap, non-stop drinking. For a second, he stops and slurs"Uh-oh! My heart just stopped!!...........Ahh, there it goes!!" and starts drinking again. Cherry!!

Still _another_ beer-related: Barney says "Whatever you say, giant beer!" to Wiggims dressed-up in a beer can outfit.

"What kind of drunk do you take me for?.... Hey! Someone spilled beer in this ashtray!!" (Slurp)

"You should only drink to enhance your social skills. BURP!!!"

"You know, since they outlawed experiments on lab animals, a guy like me can really clean up!"

The one where he's walking down the street and sees a pink elephant was funny.

How about, "Can I throw up in your bathroom? I'll buy something!"

In Moe's, Homer says to Barney: "Have you ever felt unattractive?" Barney replies: "Not for a second Homer! Burrrrrp!"

Homer is being forced out of Moe's Tavern; MOE: Barney, show Homer the exit. BARNEY: There's an exit?

"ya you do that" to Linda Ronstedt on the mr plow ep.

Barney is dressed up in a baby outfit handing out fliers. Someone says somnething like "How can you get any lower". Immediately the wind blows his diaper off and He waves to someone not pictured and says: "Hi Mom!"

My fav is when Doctor Hibber and family walk into Mo's Tavern, and the sun from outside shines on Barney, and he says: "Oh no! Natural light! get it off me! GET IT OFF ME!"

the absolutely funniest Barney quotes both come from the episode where Bart was in love with the next door girl. In that episode, Bart made a prank call to Moe and said his name was jimbo Jones and Moe started chasing him: Moe: "Barney, don't steal any beer while I'm gone!" Barney: "What kind of a pathetic drunk do you take me for? Ooh, somebody spilled beer in this ashtray!! (gulp) "

when Barney is lying on the counter and sucking on the beer tap: "(slurp, slurp) Uh oh, my heart just stopped. .........(a long pause)......... ........ There it goes. (slurp, slurp)"

To Selma in "War of The Simpsons": "Heyyy, you're Homer's sister in-law, right? I remember you. But I don't remember you being so beau--URPPP-tiful. (Gets sprayed with mace) D'oh! Ahh, Oh, BURPPPP, Ahhhh URP. Is that a new kind of mace? It's really painful"

In the one where Herb returns, at Moe's with Joe Frazier. Frazier: Don't worry Homer, you can find another couch. Barney: Hey Frazier, shut up! Frazier: Barney, you've been ridin' my back all night. Barney: You wanna step outside! (They fight, Barney ends up in a trash can and says: "Wow, a peanut!")

Also, when he argues with Wade Boggs over who the best prime minister of England was in "Homer at the Bat" - "Warren Palmerstein (or a similar name??)...F. Lee Elder...Warren Palmerstein....F. Lee Elder (Barney hits him)

"What kind of pathetis drunk to you take me for? Oooh, someone spilled beer in this ashtray!"

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