- There's nothing wrong with hitting someone when his back is turned.
- The three little sentences that will get you through life:
1. Cover for me.
2. Oh, good idea, Boss!
3. It was like that when I got here.
- If stuff starts flying, just turn your head.
- If you tip the glass, there won't be so much foam on top.
- It takes two to lie: one to lie and one to listen.
- It's a crock, no matter how good you are there is someone better. (Bart then says "Can't win, don't try")
- If something's hard to do then it's not worth doing.
- (Getting out of jury duty) The trick is to say you're prejudiced against all races.
- If something goes wrong, blame the guy who can't speak English.
- Son, when you participate in sporting events, it's not whether you win or lose, it's how drunk you get.
- Kids, you tried your best, and you failed miserably. The lesson is, never try.
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Your
average American bonehead. As the head of the Simpson household, Homer is a loving
husband and dad, although he might now show it at times. Some of his many accomplishments
include: getting the most gongs with Barney in the Gong Show, receiving the Charles
Montgonery Burns Award for Outstanding Achievement in the Field of Excellance. He's a
blue collar working, beer drinking, donut eating, beer drinking, family loving, boy hating,
beer drinking dad. The Simpsons would be nothing without the hysterical situations Homer
gets himself into. Whether he's trying to become 300 pound handicapped man or trying to
make his own beer to sneak past the cops, Homer is always trying some lame-brained scam.
Did I mention he likes beer?
