Guest Column

Why can’t I get none of those Furbies?
12/16/98


A Mother
Man, I’m pretty frustrated. I’m a mother of a 9-year-old boy and all he’s been talking about is getting one of those Furbie thing-a-majigs for Christmas. And I love my son very much, so I figured I’d do my darndest. It seemed like it might be a fun toy. I heard it talks and such. But every time I go to the store there aren’t any in stock. And believe me I’ve tried. I’ve yelled at every Target employee I could find. But none of them seemed to be able to tell me when they’ll be getting more.


Furbie Clan
So I was considering getting him something else like one of those Star Wars plane things, but I just can’t see spending twenty bucks on a hunk of plastic. He’d probably break it right away or just forget about it in a week. Heck, I never see him play with that tank thing we got him last year anymore.

But boy, that Furbie little guy is a cute one. And he talks and says all kinds a cute stuff. At least that’s what Doris said. She’s been trying to get one too for he little Scotty. And I tell ya; you just can’t find em anywhere.

So I guess I just wanted to give out a little open plea to anyone reading. If you have a Furbie that you might like to sell, I’ll pay anything. Please God, write me and tell me. I need it bad. I’ll do anything, I’m serious. At this point I can’t afford any self-respect. So if you want a knob shinning or whatever. I’m here for it. My husband will never know. Anyway you want it. We can do it doggie style, I can take it anyway you give it. Just give me the Furbie. If you got two, we can bring Doris on it as well. We’re all very open.

So to sum up, I’m willing to sell any number of sexual favors for that toy. So just let me know. I’ll be waiting.

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