Comments from a Jerk

Why Morals Don't Work
10/2/98


the jerk
How many times has this happened to you? You're standing in a line for something and you just want to punch the guy in front of you cause he looks ugly. Or maybe you're stuck in traffic and you just want to murder the guy you're car pooling with cause he won't shut up about his stupid life. And what's stopped you? Those stupid morals. At the end of the day what have they gotten you? Nothing, that's what. That guy in line's still ugly and the other guy's still talking in your ear.

Sure values and things all look good on paper but come on. It's just not practical. I tried the first few years to be nice but it never got me anywhere. It certainly never got me laid. But that's a different story. So anyway, the other day I'm buying a paper from one of those machines when I thought why not take all the papers and then throw them in the gutter. Well I did it, but my morals told me not to. In the end, if I'd listened to them I wouldn't have had that fun and I couldn't brag about it like this later. So in this case it's plane to see how morals were in the wrong. And having no morals can make a fun thing even better. Now imagine you see a guy walking along and a big trunk falls on his head. You'd laugh your ass off. But now imagine how funny it would have been if you had been the one dropping the trunk. I'm sure you get my point now. But it's not all about fun. How do you think rich people get rich? It's simple; they give everyone the old screwgy. And why not? It's almost too easy. I mean, in the end, isn't it in everyone's nature to lie? I think so.

So go out there and make some shady business deals. Buy things with bad checks and move around a lot. Go in an ally and kick a few bums. You'll find it's just that much easier than listening to that little bastard in your head. Morals just don't work in real life. Trust me.

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