Comments from a Jerk
Halloween Fever
10/10/98 | 
the jerk |
Well, I, like so many other people this time of year, have caught Halloween fever. And boy, let me tell you, it is catching fast. I mean, who can resist all that Halloween has to offer us single adults. There’s the dressing up for really no reason, and of course, the candy giving. There’s nothing I like more then giving away perfectly good candy to some brat dressed as a pound puppy. What ever happened to the day when being a guy covered in blood was a costume? Or you could just carry around a fake head and everyone thought that was cool. But not anymore, that’s too violent now. Hell, in my day parents took me to public executions and said that could be me if I didn’t clean my room. Didn’t hurt me any. So what’s the big deal?
And how come I don’t hear about kids finding razors and pins in their candy anymore? Are the psychos too PC now as well? I guess so. And that’s just sad, because depraved lunatics in my day new how to nuts up an All Hallows Eve.
Hell, even the petty vandalism has gone down hill. The eggings my house has received the last few years have been piss poor at best. They couldn’t have used more then a carton. And talk about bad aim.
This year I’m giving out mounds bars. That’ll show em. Better yet, I’ll be in the bushes with the hose. That’ll teach em to mess with me.
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