Words from a Reject

How being a nerd saved my life

10/14/98

Blake Stenslin, nerd

Hey, I'm Blake and I wasn't ever on the show YRU-Up, but I sure liked to call into it. Well, Sean asked me if I could write something for the site from time to time and offer the loser's perspective. Well, I have that in spades let me tell you. Well, today I'd like to tell you a story of how being a social reject saved my virgin ass. The story begins not that long ago. I was sitting at home after school and I was watching some old tapes of Sailor Moon and reading my worn out copy of Lord of the Ring. Go Mr. Tolken, you are a god. Anyway, I was relaxing when the phone rang. Frankly I was shocked because who would be calling me, since Dennis was still at band practice. Well, as it turned out it was the good people at Time/Life books. I had just bought a book from their Mysteries and Lost Treasures series. They told me that I had won a free trip to Florida for me and two friends.

I was amazed since I don't win anything. Not even the occasional Gathering™ tournament. The next day I got on the bus and I couldn't wait till Dennis's stop to tell him of the good news. He couldn't believe it. He actually dropped his ear medicine. The only thing left was to find another friend. I figured that this would be the perfect time to ask out Caroline, my dream woman. She had just broken up with her long time boyfriend Dirk and I knew that this free trip would win her affection. The only problem was that I wasn't to sure if she knew who I was. So I asked Dennis to see what he could find out. Well, by third period he told me that he heard from this other kid that he remembers her saying my name once. It was right after I threw up in gym class cause I ate too many beans at lunch and then played too much badminton.

With the good news in hand I was ready to make the plunge. I took out my emergency roll of mint lifesavers and sucked on three while waiting for her fourth period economics class to end. When the bell rang I must admit I became a little nervous about the venture. Then I saw her. She was wearing that little green number I like. Before I knew it I went up to her. Just I was about to speak she turned to her friend and made this gag/vomit signal, laughed and walked by. I was kinda bummed at first but at least she remembered. This gave me new hope for the future.

Then I figured I could just go with Dennis but it turned out his parents didn't want him going then at the height of allergy season. At that point the trip was pretty much a bust. It was okay though, I figured I'd just drown my sorrows in on the "web." I got this new RPG game demo, it was pretty awesome.
Blake's Flight of Doom
Anyway, to make a long story short the plain crashed that I was supposed to be on. I realized that once again my nerdish nature saved me from certain death. Now If I could only see a live female breast.

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