YRU-Update

Local Man Claims Alien Intervention
in Botched Family Vacation Photos


10/13/98

MILD SPRINGS, OHIO- On Thursday of last week, Ohio resident and family man, Mitch Griston, picked up his family's vacation photos. His family had just returned from a week long trip to Itchabonga State park. He was shocked to find a strange black mass on almost every picture.


One of many photos ruined by man or evil
alien creature?

Paranormal researcher and first rate ass, Greg Penopolis		      "I didn't know what it was at first," states Mitch. "At first I thought it might be my fault, but then I came to realize it was something much more sinister. I fail to see how it could be something I did. Sure, I could see me screwing up one but not almost the entire roll."

     Dr.John Kellins of the Mt. Piron Think Tank and expert in photographic studies agrees with Mitch's conclusion. "Sure, one can assume that a normal person could easily screw up a couple of pictures but it would take one hell of a moron to do the same thing on almost all of them."

     Mitch's wife Carol remains unsure of the supernatural explanation of these events. "Mitch isn't that great with technology. It seems like something he would do. Last year we bought one of those mini satellite dishes and it's still sitting in the garage. I just wish we still had the receipt."
Mitch was still undaunted in his theories. Determined to prove he was not at fault, Mitch sought out the advice of experts. "I was glad to have him come to me on this," says paranormal researcher and consummate asshole Greg Penopolis. "I really wasn't doing much at the time and so the money came in real handy." The two went straight to work on finding out what could have caused these "black clouds." "I must admit at first I thought it was his thumb, but after I saw how many it was on I figured this guy wasn't that much of an idiot."

Penopolis looked to the stars for a more rational explanation. Unfortunately, this seemed not to be the case. "I did think it could be an alien plot, but then I said to myself, 'Greg, don't be an idiot.' That just didn't make any sense. It had to be of this earth, but what? Then it hit me, Atlantis."

"When Greg first mentioned his Atlantis theory, I knew he was on to something," Mitch stated. "I remembered how we stayed by a lake for most of the trip. The perfect hiding place for this mer-monster."


artist reconstruction of picture ruining monster from the lost city of Atlantis
Penopolis then went on, "The unfortunate thing is I don't think we'll ever know what this creature wanted. It could have been that it meant no harm in ruining this innocent man's vacation pictures. He might of just been asking for human help in saving it's dying race. I can only hope that it will appear again so that we might find these answers."

When asked why Mitch never saw this creature while taking these pictures they stated that it was obvious that this creature in fact lived in a parallel dimension that can only be seen on film on alternate Tuesdays.

Some people in the community are still not convinced. Mitch's neighbor, Fred Devin commented on the story. "Now I've known Mitch for a long time and I must say it's not beyond him to make something like this up. I remember the time he blamed the god Possidon for him being late to a PTA meeting."

"I just don't know why people would think I'm that dumb," Mitch added finally in his defense. "I think it's plain to see the more likely explanation lies in the intervention from an inter-dimensional creature from the lost city of Atlantis, seeking help in saving his race from extinction."

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