YRU-Up, One Man's View

Good Stuff About O' Irish
3/18/99


Sean
Begorah everybody. It’s St. Pat’s day out there so I wanted to write about it. Well actually it was more like, “I need to write something one of these days, oh, St Patrick’s day will work.” Well, whatever the motive, I’m writing something, so doesn’t that just make your shamrock tingle? I’m not really sure what that means. Sound’s oddly sexual though. I guess that’s what happens when you use the word “tingle.” I suppose I could have been talking about dandruff shampoo, oh well

But anyway I guess it’s time for me to complain about something related to this “pseudo-holiday.” But I won’t; not today my friends. No, I’m not going to discus why green makes the ugliest color for clothing. And I’m certainly not going to re-hash some old thing about drinking and bar fighting being over-stereotyped, though sadly true. No, In fact I think I’m going to ignore the topic all together. I mean, I’m a strong person, and in being so, can resist such a cop-out topic for a column as St. Patty’s day. No, I’m going to write an entire page on how I thought I say Jean-Claud Van Damme at Del Taco at 2 in the morning. Of course I’m not sure why I thought that guy looked anything like him. I suppose Jean wouldn’t exactly be wearing Zubas anyway.

Oh, who am I kidding? I can’t write anything on that topic at all. It kind of seemed like a funny story. Maybe it would have been better if it was actually Jean-Claud. Well I guess it’s back to the old stand by.

I’m gonna reveal right off the bat that I am actually of the Irish decent. And the Irish culture sure is a rich one. All kinds of great people or things have come from the Emerald Isle. First off, I have to say my idol of all time has to be Andy Capp. Yup, any man who can drink all the time, beat his wife, and still have time to produce those zesty Fries of his must be doing something right. Come to think of it, I’m not really sure Andy is Irish. I’m kind of thinking he might be British. Well, I still know those Leprechaun movies are Irish related. That’s something good about the Irish I guess. And I bet some people like Lucky Charms. I mean, who wouldn’t like dehydrated marshmallows and that oat-like crap. Just writing this makes me wonder where my milks at. Yum Yum. Okay, I guess nothing good really does come to mind. What a waste of time this column was. I’m sorry to all you out there who read it. That’ll teach me to start writing with no plan at all. Well, until next time, I’ll be crying.

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