YRU-Up, One Man's View

Sean Gives Life Saving Aid
10/9/98


Night on Sean Mt.
Many times I find myself on the street giving advice to people in need. This may not seem rational but it sure can be funny. One man came up to me the other day asking my advice siting that he "liked the cut of my jib." Well, taking this comment to heart I started to like this man and so I agreed to help him out. What he asked me still haunts me to this day. He wanted to know how one could cope with a disfiguring injury? Especially of the facial nature. He claimed this question was not for him but for a close "friend." Of course I could see right through this because this man was sure freaky looking.

It saddened me to see this once normal looking human reduced to a man willing to ask a stranger on the streets of LA for advice. I decided at this moment to take this man under my wing and show him that being ass ugly due to an industrial solvent accident needn't end an active social life. As soon as it was thought I put it into action. We were off to the town's hot spots to pick up fast women for the ugly dude and me. I new if there was one place on earth that this mistake of God could fit in, it's a LA nightclub. We had just gotten our techno groove on when two fine boobular enhanced women made their way over to our side of the dance floor. As it turned out melted face was one fine boogie artist. So we all grinded the night away to the some of the best industrial dance mixes, Germany had to offer. We all left the club at about 3 am and decided to head back to the ladies' place. The blond one had taken quite a shinning to the old scab head. It turned out she had a brother who bashed his face in on a camping trip gone wrong. There was more to that story but I had kind of tuned out at that point. So then the blond girl and the human puss pot started getting it on and I had to leave the room or I was gonna puke on myself. The other girl followed me out but I figured I'd better cut her loose. I didn't realize it under the colored lights of the club but her nose was really pointy and I just couldn't deal with that. So I told her I couldn't stay because I didn't like her nose. I realize it may seem cruel, but I figured that in the long run she'd appreciate the honesty. Heck, she may even get that nose fixed. So then she's crying and I was trying to decide whether to go back in to get my protégé or let him have his fun. I figured he'd had enough so I went back. So there Mr. Vomit head is actually scoring with this woman on the kitchen floor. As it turned out he had pretty good mussel tone and I admired his form. But mostly I was disgusted out of my mind. So I left a broken man. My confidence in humanity shattered. How could he, after all I did for that ugly bastard, get it on with the cute one while I'm stuck with a girl who could lance a boil with her face? See if I ever help anyone again.

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