YRU-Up, One Man's View

Halloween Horror-time
10/28/98


Seantastic
Well I know that the jerk already wrote a column on Halloween (that ass), but I’m gonna write one as well. I mean, it’s a big holiday and I think there’s room for a little friendly competition. Heck, I sure beat his ass at last year’s YRU-Up botchi ball tournament. That guy couldn’t toss a ball to save his life. It’s sad really and for that reason, I pity him. But this is about me after all. As all things should be.

I think I’ve always liked the idea of Halloween. It’s scary but sweet. You get to get all bloody, roam the streets and eat loads of candy. It’s the stuff dreams are made of and you get to do it every year. Not a bad deal. One thing that makes me sad to see is the scary being taken out of Halloween. It’s become a violent world and the only place you don’t see it now is on kids at Halloween. Now kids can only be cartoon characters, cowboys, and hobos. I remember when I went to elementary school kids had costumes like “guy with knife in his head,” and we all thought that was cool and that was that. So what has changed? I say nothing. We lost nothing from letting kids dress up like that.

I think we as a culture suck real bad right now. And it’s all I can do to keep myself from punching each and every one of you. Stop being such super pricks. It’s fucking Halloween. If dressing up like a zombie once a year is gonna mess up your kid then it was gonna happen anyway. Your kid was a psycho to begin with. People once though the same thing about comic books.

It’s all a commie hunt for a scapegoat. It’s easy fixes for hard problems. Halloween is about fun and maybe a little destruction. It does not promote violence. So let your kid dress up as a murder victim. Take him/her to a haunted house and let them get the shit scared out of them. It didn’t harm you any. So everyone, join with me to put the horror back in Halloween. The world will be better for it. Maybe next we can put the religion back in Christmas. Well, I suppose one can always pray.

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