I know the Goddess said I wasn't on a shopping spree but the Zoo really could use some more Dryads, what with the unfortunate escape of the Bacchae and all. Besides, what else was I suppose to do, this place isn't exactly high on tourist attractions.
I packed up my stuff, which consisted of 1 laptop and one map, needless to say it didn't take long. Now I had heard Dryads actually hang out in grave yards, a prospect which oddly gave me a bit of comfort. I was sure to feel more at home there than in this Goddess forsaken plush, smog free, untouched forest, where I am met daily with the incessant singing of birds (they are worse than those whos down in who ville!)
Hey, did you know Dryads fly! Well, they do. And quite well, I might add. They are also armed with swords. I had nothing for protection, well, except for my lap top, and the Goddess had already warned me once that if I destroyed another computer this month, I would soon find myself working on a commodore 64, so obviously *that* was out of the question. And I didn't think the map would be of much use either. That was where I was wrong. Apparently the Dryads were lost! They had been for quite some time. Add that to the FAQ, Dryads have no sense of direction. When they saw I had a map they became giddy with excitement. I actually found them to be rather pleasant.
Well we chatted all afternoon. They told me about their run in with the legendary Destroyer of Nations. Even after she was supposedly reformed, she rode in with her little friend Gabby and some clown named Joxer, and just began smashing them to pieces. She didn't even have the decency to introduce herself. Naturally, the Dryads had to protect themselves, but somehow that part got left out of the Xena Scrolls and the Dryads just came off looking hostile, completely dehumanized. I assured them when I got back to Cirra I would write them a tale that would do them justice.
By then it had occurred to me that I had their trust and could probably do just about anything to them. Hey, this talking thing ain't such a bad thing after-all. In fact, if used appropriately I'll bet it could make a handy weapon.
Initially I thought I would just take them with me, but then I realized I really had no place to keep them, herding them along with me was out of the question, far too much hassle, I didn't even know what they ate! So, when they weren't looking, I simply broke them into pieces. Dead or Alive, it was all the same, a Dryad's main value after-all lies in their ability to kill Bacchae.
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