I arrive at the Goddess's home exactly a half hour late. A billion and one excuses run through my head, ok a billion and two, but I don't think she is going to buy the alien abduction story any more than those people at the National Enquirer did....uh, I mean would.
MM: ((deep breath, Knock on the door))
The door opens, but there is not anyone there actually opening it. If I didn't know a Goddess lived here I'd say the place was haunted...or on a slope.
GC: ((sitting at breakfast table on the balcony)) Enter.
MM: Hi Goddess, sorry so late, traffic was a bear. (Excuse number 1,023 in case you are interested.)
GC: 1,023 again?
MM: uh....I, uh....
GC: Relax, nothing a little retraining won't fix.
MM: Retraining? ((I don't mind telling you I don't like the sound of that.))
GC: I don't mind telling YOU I don't care.
MM: ((mental note: stop thinking))
GC: Good advice. So, Melissa...or should I say, Goddess?
MM: ((visibly paling)) Uh? What do you mean?
GC: I think you know exactly what I mean. But if you require a little reminder...
MM: Oh no Goddess, that won't be necessary. But it was a dream, I swear it meant nothing! I have no control over what I dr....
GC: Well I suggest you work something out because impersonating a Goddess is a serious infraction, even if it was just a dream.
MM: Sorry Goddess.
GC: Don't apologize Melissa, just improve. ((smiling inward remembering her old "friend"))
MM: Yes, Goddess.
GC: Melissa, be a dear and test my juice, will you?
MM: Test your juice?
GC: By the Gods! What is the matter with you today?!
MM: I only meant, why....
GC: ((blank stare))
MM: ((reaching for the pitcher of orange juice)) Goddess, hind blood won't kill me, I am not a God. So I don't know what good this is going to....
GC: ((blank stare))
MM: ((quickly gulp down some juice.))
GC: ((wicked smile creeping across her lips))
MM: ((spit juice out!!)) My GAWDS! What the Tartarus is...((realize that I just drenched Callisto in backwashed juice))....in....uh, here? ((this last word comes out really squeaky))
About a billion and one excuses ran through my mind, ok a billion and two, but I didn't think the Goddess was going to buy the story about Alien mind control any more than those people at The Globe had....I mean would.
MM: Uhm....traffic was a bear?
Well put the kids to bed, because what transpired next is not suitable for young audiences. Suffice it to say, the Goddess was not amused.
MM: ((forcing down the last drop of that "juice")) ((turning kind of greenish))
GC: That's a good girl. See. It's not so bad. Would you like me to tell you what's in it?
MM: ((fervently shaking my head "no"!))
GC: aaah you're no fun.
MM: Goddess? Might I be permitted to use the restroom?
GC: Sure, just keep that juice down, okay.
MM: Never mind then.
GC: Melissa, you are not looking so good.
MM: Might I be permitted to go to the hospital?
GC: Hospital? No, I don't think so. I think you just need some exercise is all. Perhaps you should pay a little visit to the gymnastics center.
MM: ((my stomach turns at the thought)) Gymnastics Goddess? Do you really think that is necessary?
GC: Yes, I believe that I do.
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