Normally Basically Bards would be a sure win in this competition, what with building card houses requiring a great deal of patience, and by patience we mean the ability to sit in one place for hours, painstakingly attending to a single monotonous task, over and over. Same old torture every day, everyday. Never going to get away. (everybody sing!) But with Casila still nursing that paper cut, the field was greatly opened up.
In preparation for the event, Trancer, Matt, and Melissa watched hours and hours of the Brady Bunch. Tho they will tell you it was purely for strategy, we strongly suspect they just have a thing for Greg and Marsha. (But who doesn't.)
The competition was fierce, with the Medical Team performing as though they were in the midst a delicate operation and Team Callisto, as if their lives depended on it. (Which of course, they did.) Alwheaties just finished placing her card, she had wanted to create a little breakfast nook off to the side but was over-ruled by her teammates who insisted the space be used for medical research.
MM: Your turn Matt. (wondering if the deck of cards would fit next to the baton)
GC: Yes.
MP: (shut up twin) (with a shaky hand Matt places the next card)
Michael: (deep breath, places another card finishing the car port he had built for the search and rescue vehicle)
Now it was Callisto's turn. "Hurry up Bard!" Melissa frantically searched through yet another deck of cards as the Goddess insisted on only playing only with Queens, "the red kinds with the little hearts."
GC: Well?
MM: Here you go Goddess.
As Callisto moved to place the card, the chainmail she wears on her wrist flipped down nearly toppling the whole house to the ground.
Matt and Melissa shudder as they recall the very same near tragic event befalling Marsha. (It was all Trancer's fault...er we mean Jan's fault.)
Trancer: (blurts out) Everything counts! It's all part of the playing field.
GC: (frowns)
Trancer: (picking herself up of the floor, mumbling) Well it does.
Callisto placed the card.
Next it was Gene's turn. Unfortunately for Gene, the Cyberus hound that he periodically walks for the Goddess chose this exact minute to run into the room.
Trancer: Tiger no!
But it was too late. The hound destroyed the house of cards. A spokesperson for Team Callisto denies all knowledge of the incident.
Trancer wanders off muttering something about rowboats and sewing machines.
just 3 minutes into the competition controversy erupted when Shanya taped a series of explosive devices to the card house and threatened to blow it up if team Cheerios did not surrender immediately, plus she wanted a BMW (like the one James Bond had, in that one movie, you know the one where he is Remington Steel), and a big Mac (because quite frankly she was sick of avocado and bean sprouts).
Team Cheerios held its ground.
Mad Catter: Go ahead, blow it up. What do we care?
TJ: Yeah it will be your loss.
Shanya: Not if I blow it up on your turn?
It took Tartan Terror and 2 third year law students to straighten the whole mess out.
Tartan: (reading from the official rule book) Article 2, section 4 clearly states: Explosive devises shall be considered part of the playing field.
Shanya: (evil grin) (presses the button, blowing up the house of cards)
MM, MP, & Trancer: (with horror) DEAR GODDESS NO! Kitty-carry all was in there!
Tartan: (blank stare) Article 2, section 5.3, baby dolls are expendable.
Things were moving along nicely. The house was already 10 stories high. Much better than Greg and Marsha's, Melissa and Matt thought with satisfaction.
Trancer: yeah right. You wish.
GC: Stop that!
Next up was Shanya, who had refrained from resorting to explosives. But only because her teammates had begged, well that and they promised to get her a Quarterpounder w/ Cheese. At first Shanya was at a loss to understand her teammates' reaction to her suggested use of explosives, they had after all worked out so well in the last round. It hadn't even dawned on the little hijacker that playing dirty against Team Callisto could, and in fact would, be very hazardous to her health...not to mention that of her team mates.
GC: My turn! Give me my card, bard.
Melissa frantically searches through 3 decks of cards, but is unable to find a Queen of Hearts in the bunch.
GC: Well?
MM: (gives Callisto a Queen of Diamonds)
GC: (blank stare) Is this suppose to be some sort of joke?
MM: Uh...uhm, I can't seem to find a Queen of Hearts Goddess.
GC: (cold stare)
MM: (whimper)
Shelly Hansen: Huh. That's odd. I seem to have 3 right here. Guess you should pay better attention to your loot bard. (laughs)
MM: Give me that!
Shelly: You want it, Come and get it!
It took Trancer, Chief Jeff, the jaws of life, and two pinochle players from Iowa 45 minutes to remove the Bards hands from Shelly's neck.
Miraculously no cards were toppled during the excursion and after a quick check of the rule book the game continued. On a side note, all transactions with the mayor of Cirra should be forwarded to the Therapy Clinic until further notice.
GC: (placed her card...The Queen of Hearts, if anyone is interested.)
Acean: (placed her card, completing the little breakfast nook she had been working on. To Tartarus with her teammates, what did she care if they wanted to build a movie studio?)
Next up was Matt. (play bad horror movie type music to foreshadow impending tragic event) You see, Matt was a chronic allergy sufferer. And while he was perpetually on Tavest-D (really it was Wal-hist-D, a cheap Walgreens knock off of the real stuff, but hey it does the same thing and it is at least 20 dinars cheaper!), on this day the dust particles in the air were particularly heavy. Matt's nose twitched. I think we all saw it coming.
One minute there was a beautiful house of cards. Then there wasn't. Time stopped, yes quite literally. Unfortunately for Matt, no mater how hard he willed it, it didn't stay stopped. Matt learned a valuable lesson that day, cards do fit where the sun don't shine.
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