TV tuned to a dead channel.
Click.
Click.

Voice: Hello Sportsfans! Welcome to around the clock coverage of the New Cirra Olympics brought to you by WCRS. Here's your sportscasters, Hope McCoy and Roger Gibson.

HM: Good morning, this is Hope McCoy and Roger Gibson with WCRS.

RG: : Good morning and welcome to the Olympics. It's a sunny day here in Olympic Village. Spectators have gathered from all over town to se the festivities.

ON SCREEN:

The New Cirra sun breaks over the mountain range bordering the city. The predawn throng waits in anticipation - a unison gasp of breath as the contestants enter the Callistoplex arena. Nine teams in all stride towards the center of the playing field. Team Callisto, headed by the beautiful Goddess of Obsession, is followed by the divine Melissa and the ever loving Matt, each one elbowing the other, trying to be second in line behind Calisto, the fabulous Sherry and stunning Debbie (1stFire) come in behind the twins, Sherry taking copious notes on any hot gossip 1stFire has.

Next, Team Hudson, lead by the simply dazzling Hudson Leick made their way down the entrance ramp. Wesser followed Hudson closely. Shaddy, Pandora and Mich meandered after Wesser; more interested in the outpouring show of emotion for the event than the actual sports themselves.

Behind Team Hudson is the Medical Team, lead by Trancer, her never far away a fireman, Michael, Alwheaties and Gene. Trancer waves over to Matt in Team Callisto and gives her hips a shake, yes, she is wearing Soundtrack Pants (TM).

The fourth group to advance on to the field is the team known as Law, Religion and Red Lights. Captained by Jeff, the proud gladiators marched their way towards the center of the field. Tartan Terror, Seraphix, Saber and Se

RG: e round out the crew.

Not to be outdone, dressed in their military finest, Team Warriors march in an ever evolving formation known as the waited phalanx. Bello and Tower flank Erin on the left as Jason and Jake move on her right. The two sides advance, leaving Erin behind. The twin groups move toward each other, leaving just enough room for Erin to move between the two sides. The whole thing happens again and again until they reach the field.

Basically Bards has refused to elect a team leader so in no real order, Galloway, Darth, Ron, Casila and Griller mosey on down the gangplank. Taking the time to sign the occasional autograph or break out into song. A notable moment was Ron's interpretive dance to a song only _he_ heard.

In an interesting turn of events, the next team has chosen a name that does not describe a common link between them, but instead, in homage to the lovely and talented Hudson Leick, named themselves after her favorite snack food. Team Cheerios made their way onto the field. Dingane was the only one to not perform some sort of acrobatic maneuver down the aisle. TJ and Mad Catter did summer saults and Stephen did cartwheels as SunLady did "the worm".

Team 8, filled with the most stunning athletes, Team Look-a-Leick, was filled with newcomers, Shelly Hanson, Shanya Loring & Kathy Rogers. Devon and Acean followed the rear. No pun.

Finally, The Outlaws, the juggernaughts of the sporting arena entered. Save for Brant, who wowed us all earlier with the trailer for some fan fic he wrote, boos grew louder for Xena, Gabby, Autolycus and Mo

RG: an Adams.

When all the teams have taken the field, a lone figure makes his way to the podium. The baby faced Pat Sajack steps up to the mic. Callisto, wide eyed and mouth agape, clutched her hands together over her heart.

Melissa and Matt winked at each other and smiled knowingly. It took over seven phone calls, the breaking of three international treaties, a carton of _Luckys_, 2 disposable enemas, a fifth of Old Harper and Melissa had to buy a vowel, but the oddity twins got their Goddess' favorite TV Personality to be the keynote speaker.

PS: Ladies and Gentlemen of Cirra, you Goddessness; I am pleased to announce that the first New Cirra Olympics has officially begun! Please rise for the New Cirra national Anthem.

Melissa: Are you sure she said it would be alright to use this tune Matt?

Matt: Would I lie to you?

Melissa: (looks at her twin with suspicion...of course he would lie to me!> Well, alright.

Callisto the Goddess
She's a real bad-ass.
Never needs a place to rest.
A fact to which the dead can attest.
Sword, dagger, Chakram display!
Never gonna get away.
Same old torture everyday!
She's Calisto -- Callisto the Goddess.

With that, the Cirra equivalent to the lighting of the Olympic torch commenced. It's a national secret, but it involved Fred "Gopher" Grandy and the last three paragraphs to Shirley Jackson's "The Lottery."

News Coverage of the Olympics brought to you by WCRS: You had better be watching us.

HM: Well, the ceremonies sure off to a splendid start. I'd hate to be in Fred Grandy's shoes right now, eh Roger?

RG: : You bet. My contacts tell me that they are a size 6 That sure is small. That guy sure has small feet.

HM: RG: : That's right, Hope. From my sources, I hear that more than a few men from Olympic Village has fantasies about that very subject. *sniffle*

HM: RG: : *sniff* Wait. There's more, Hope. My sources *sniff* tell me that there is *snif* Oh my god, my nose is bleeding!

HM: Well, the ceremonies sure off to a splendid start. I'd hate to be in Fred Grandy's shoes right now, eh Roger?

RG: : You bet. My contacts tell me that they are a size 6 That sure is small. That guy sure has small feet.

HM: (stares at her partner) (looks into the camera)...yeah. Well...it seems that our first event is up. The teams are approaching the field. Boy, that Callisto sure is a task master, don't you think, Roger

RG: : That's right, Hope. From my sources, I hear that more than a few men from Olympic Village has fantasies about that very subject. *sniffle*

HM: (stares at her partner) Roger--

RG: : *sniff* Wait. There's more, Hope. My sources *sniff* tell me that there is *snif* Oh my god, my nose is bleeding!

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