GC: Ok Bard, same drill as before. If you tell anyone about this, so help me...
MM: Don't worry Goddess, nobody will find out.
GC: What's this one called?
MM: Been There, Done That.
GC: Another Ares episode?
MM: huh? Oh....uh, no. (puts tape in VCR)
(((Joxer enters "Rise and Shine everyone....Rise and Shine)))
GC & MM: (cringe)
(((Gabrielle sits up from under the hay)))
GC: Why does she sleep under the hay Melissa?
MM: Why are you asking me?
GC: Just figured it was some sort of bard thing.
MM: I have never slept under hay a day in my life.
GC: no she slept under the stars in a day in the life.
MM: (blank stare) No, *I* have never slept under hay.
GC: would you like to?
MM: Not particularly.
GC: oh.
(((Joxer gets run through with a sword)))
GC: (eyes widen) (grabs my arm) BY THE GODS, bard!! Did you see that?!
MM: yes Goddess.
GC: How can that be? Joxer didn't die then.
MM: I don't know. ..... Uhm, Goddess could you let go of my arm? You're hurting me.
GC: oh. (lets go of my arm) (shrug)
(((Funeral Pyre for Joxer)))
GC: Burn him! Whoo-hoo! Hey, that better not be a tear in your eye Melissa.
MM: (sniffle) It's not.
(((Xena comforts Gabrielle and the two fall asleep with Gabby all curled up next to Xena)))
MM: uhm Goddess...
GC: No.
MM: but....
GC: I said no.
(((The rooster Crows and the day starts over)))
GC: (muttering) blast I knew it was too good to be true. What's the matter with Xena? Is she still possessed by those furies?
MM: What do you mean?
GC: Well look at her. She's actually happy Joxer is alive!
(((Joxer says, "What if none of this is really happening and we're all like in someone else's head and they're making us up.)))
GC: (blank stare)(turns to look at me) (slightly alarmed) What does he mean by that?
MM: I am sure I have no idea what he is talking about. I mean how ridiculous is that, him thinking that we are all made up characters, figments of somebody's imagination. And what kind of sick person would sit around thinking up things for a fake Goddess, er I mean for a fake Destroyer of Nations to do with her bard all day. I mean if she were getting paid for it that would be one thing but....
GC: (muttering) Sorry I asked.
(((Xena: "Son of a Bacchae")))
GC: Boy that Xena sure has some mouth on her.
MM: (right as if I've never heard you swear like a...)
GC: Shut up you little pissant.
(((Xena steps on and snaps two swords in half)))
GC: (smacks melissa in the back of the head) Told you.
MM: Ouch (rubbing her head) what did you do that for?
GC: : (smacks melissa again) Fencing. Foils. Hello bard, pay attention. I told you they weren't real swords.
(((Argo is dead)))
GC: Whoo-hoo! I love this story.
(((rooster crows - same day again)))
GC: Who's next? WAIT! Don't tell me. I want to be surprised.....is it the irritating blonde?
MM: Hey Goddess they remembered your poison dart!
GC: (inward smile) so what.
(((Joxer "The enemy of my enemy is my friend)))
GC: What does Valasca have to do with anything? And she never was a very good friend anyway. Why I have known bards who were more respectable. Uh no offense. Who am I kidding - offense. (LOL)
MM: (blank stare)
(((rooster crows - same day again)))
GC: I've had about all I can take of that rooster. (fingering her dagger)
(((Joxer: "hey is that a hickey?")))
GC: (blank stare) Say Melissa...
MM: Don't even think about it Goddess.
(((Gabby is dead)))
GC: Sweet Mother of Zeus! This just keeps getting better and better!
(((Xena overjoyed that Gabby is still alive, hugs the bard.)))
MM: Say Goddess...
GC: Don't even think about it.
(((Joxer enters: "Group Hug!")))
GC: What the....(pushes Melissa away) Get off me bard.
(((Xena kills the Rooster)))
GC: YES! DIE YA PISSANT SON OF A BACCHAE ROOSTER!
MM: (Nice language Goddess.)
GC: Excuse me?
MM: DoH! (did I think that out loud?)
GC: You most certainly did.
MM: Uhm look Goddess, my favorite part is coming.
GC: Don't change the sub...
(((Joxer's plan gets everybody killed)))
GC: ...ject b...WHOO-HOO!
(((Xena kills Joxer)))
GC: (big grin, one might even say a big goofy grin, you know, if one didn't want to live long) replay.
It took Gene and two psychotherapists 45 minutes to bring the Goddess down from her bloodlust induced high. It took Trancer and two firefighters 45 minutes to revive Melissa. And it took Fred and two VCR repairmen 45 minutes to fix the damaged tape...the stress of replay, you got to hate it.
(((Xena ties up Gabby and Joxer)))
GC: (smile) (slowly turns her head to look at Melissa)
MM: (sigh) I'll get the rope.
GC: Something is missing. Oh wait! I know.
Matt: (materializes.) What the.... (matt is bound and gaged)
GC: There that's perfect. The two of you look just like the irritating blonde and the idiot.
Matt: (oh you're going to pay Monson, you're going to pay)
MM: (shut up, pissant)
(((Xena learns that Cupid's spell is responsible for the day repeating)))
GC: Let that be a lesson to you bard. Love is a trick. (LOL) Hercules or Sinbad! (LOL) Hello, bard. I'm talking to you. OH! Oops. (removes the gag) (shrug)
(((Xena pulls off INCREDIBLE Chakram toss, saving the day)))
GC: (mouth agape with amazement) (snaps mouth shut) uh....I could do that.
MM: I'm sure you could Goddess.
GC: That better not be sarcasm bard.
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