Finally the group was ready to have a little fun...Las Vegas Style. However, there was some disagreement as to where that fun should start.
Hudson wanted to pick up a few trinkets for friends and family...not to mention a new wardrobe as the one Melissa packed for her would obviously not do (really there were only so many places one could go in Hollywood caste costume...the bard could have at least packed something from Melrose Place! But noooooo, some TBAA flight attendant uniform, the University Hospital nurse uniform...OY! Well no matter, at least she would have some fun forcing Melissa to pay for her sorry attempt at a practical joke.)
Trancer wanted to get moving on her list of must see locations. First up! A tour of Wayne Newton's ranch. Woo-hoo!
Melissa wanted to take a Jacuzzi and rest, maybe even catch a few rays.
And the Goddess wanted to do a little gambling.
HL: Why don't we separate and meet back here at say 7 o'clock? That way we can all do what we want to do.
GC: Good idea. Bard you're with me.
HL & Trancer: See ya!
MM: (pout)
GC: Stop that.
Security#2: Are you over 21?
MM: Yes.
Security#2: I will need to see some identification.
GC: Are you calling my bard a liar?
MM: (my hero)
GC: Shut-up pissant.
Security#2: Are you calling me a pissant?
GC: (smile)
Due to the graphic nature of what transpired next, we are unable to bring you the exact details. Suffice it to say, Caesar's Palace had one less security guard that day.
GC: A rhyme Melissa? Do you really think that's appropriate for a warlord Goddess such as myself?
MM: I'll take it out.
GC: No leave it.
MM: (smile)
GC: Stop that.
MM: Let's start with something simple like slot machines.
GC: I don't need anything simple Melissa, I AM a God you know.
MM: Ok fine, what do you suggest?
GC: Why don't we play these slot machines?
MM: (eye roll) Good idea. Let me get some change.
GC: There's no time to change. You look fine.
MM: No, I'll GET change.
GC: I SAID, there's not time to change.
MM: No- Change as in money.
GC: (blank stare)
MM: (deep breath) (Elysian fields calm and green....)
GC: (frown) And Tartarus is hot as hell. What's your point?
MM: (exasperated sigh) We need silver dinars to play slots.
GC: oh.
Melissa goes to get change. It takes approximately 45 seconds.
GC: What took you so long?
MM: (blank stare) Here Goddess. (hands Callisto five rolls of quarters)
GC: Weapons? Oh Melissa you *do* care!
MM: Their not....
GC: (hurls a roll of quarters across the casino)
MM: ...weapons.
From somewhere in the casino "They killed Kenny! You Bastard!"
GC: (arching an eyebrow) (smile)
MM: No God....
GC: (Vanishes)
From somewhere in the casino "You killed Eric! You..." (SCREAM)
GC: (rematerializes) Ok back.
MM: ...dess.
GC: Got any more of those projectiles? You know when they split open, little silver discs fall out.
MM: You're not suppose to throw them Goddess.
GC: Why?
MM: Because....(oh forget it)...because you are suppose to hold them in your hand, like brass knuckles. (puts roll of quarters in Callisto's hand, closes her fingers around it) See how hard that makes your fist? If you hit som....
(SMACK)
It would have taken Las Vegas medical services an hour and 30 minutes to revive Melissa, so Callisto simply snapped her fingers and returned her to consciousness. Lest you think she had grown soft on the bard, well...Lest you think it.
The Goddess and her bard sat down at adjoining slot machines.
MM: First you break open the roll of quarters. (taps the roll lightly on the side of the machine, splitting it open. Dumps the quarters into the tray)
GC: (slams the roll into the tray breaking it open along with the tray.) (frown) This one's broken Melissa, switch with me.
MM: (moves one machine down so that Callisto can slide over to her machine)
GC: I said switch, not slide. (to be frank, Callisto didn't care whether Melissa moved over or switched places so long as she didn't have the broken machine, but in her experience if you gave a bard an inch they'd take a mile. It was best to make them toe the line. As a bonus, it was highly entertaining.)
MM: (moves to Callisto's broken machine) better?
GC: Tone. (inward smile)
MM: Sorry Goddess.
GC: Ok so now what?
MM: You put the quarters in and pull this handle on the side.
GC: That's all? Oh my how thrilling. (feeds quarters into the slot) Gee I am sure glad I traveled clear across the Atlantic for this. (pulls the handle)
(((Single bar, Cherry, Cherry, Single bar)))
GC: (eyes widen) WOO-HOO! (jumps up out of her seat) YES! Caesar, Plato, and Zeus! Did you see that bard?!
MM: (slinks down in her seat) (oh dear lord...I wonder how she react to actually winning?)
The Goddess and her bard hadn't said a word to one another in the past hour, both where heavily engrossed in feeding their respective slot machines silver dinars. Melissa was mentally shopping with her theoretical winnings...we would share some of those dreams with you, but frankly they are rather pathetic, let's just say _Buy the Scroll_ would never know what it (shop till you drop bard!). Unbeknownst to Melissa, Callisto was about to reach the end of her rope. She had had just about all she could take of the slot machine taunting her. And if she had to hear one more diatribe from the bard's thoughts about the advantages of invisible ink...well let's just say it wouldn't be pretty.
At this point a Keno runner walks behind Callisto and shouts "KENO!"
GC: (flinch)
MM: (suppressing laughter)
GC: stop that. (turns to search for the Keno runner, who is already gone) Tartarus.
MM: Watch your mouth Goddess. (giggling)
GC: (arching an eyebrow) (suppressing a laugh) Stop that.
At this point the Cocktail waitress walks behind Callisto and shouts "COCKTAIL!"
GC: (reaches out and snags the woman by the throat) You got some kind of problem? (paling) uh no Ma'am.
GC: Goddess.
CW: (whimper) uh no Goddess.
GC: Finally! Somebody around here that knows their place. (releases the waitress) So what is it you are selling anyway?
MM: (oh dear Goddess)
GC: just a sec. I'm busy.
CW: Cocktails Ma...er...Goddess.
GC: Mmmmm. That sounds interesting. I'll take one.
MM: NO! (bats the drink out of Callisto's hand)
GC: (blank stare)
CW: What in the Hell is the matter with you?! Can't you see she a little loopy? (SMACK)
GC: Hey! That's my bard! Nobody smacks her without my say so. Ya got that? (sneer)
CW: (gulp) Ye...yes Ma'am.
GC: (arching eyebrow)
CW: uh Goddess....I mean yes Goddess. (oh dear god get me away from this freak of nature!)
GC: WHAT WAS THAT?!
CW: (whimper)
MM: That won't help.
(((ZAP)))
GC: So bard...
MM: (whimper)
GC: Precious.
MM: (glimmer of hope) really?
GC: Yeah...but it won't help.
It took Trancer....oh right, the vacation....Well Callisto was sick of reviving the bard herself, and she just didn't want to wait around for LV medical so she simply snapped her fingers and *poof* a bewildered Trancer materialized in the Casino.
Trancer: Dammit Triplet! What did you do this time? I was just about to score some authentic counterfeit Elvis sideburns. Do you know how long that line was?!
GC: She can't hear you Trancer.
Trancer: oh.
GC: well fix her already.
Trancer: You sure? She's kind of cute this way.
GC: (contemplating) Nah bring her to. I don't want to have to drag her around all night.
MM: Happy New Year! (let them think about that one for awhile, she had been saving it for a special occasion since she saw Frosty the Snowman (TM) last year, but she just couldn't hold it in any longer.)
GC & Trancer: (blank stare)
Trancer: I think maybe you broke her.
GC: (shrug) Say Tracer get me a cocktail.
Trancer: (do I look like a bard?) A cocktail Goddess?
GC: You could. (menacing stare) And yes.
Trancer: Do you realize that those have intoxicants in them?
GC: WHAT? They sell intoxicants out in the open here? (turns to Melissa) You can't live here any more bard.
MM: Happy New Year!
huh, perhaps we were mistaken...maybe this wasn't a trick by the bard at all...Maybe Callisto did finally break her. (shrug) oh well.
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