Naturally the airlines lost the bard's luggage. Not just the carry on stuff, because really in all fairness that was Melissa's fault for being so absentminded. But they lost the stuff she checked in as well. Hudson reassured the bard that this would not be a problem, that she could always borrow something of hers. Considering Melissa had tampered with Hudson's luggage it was not an offer she found all that tempting. On the up side, Trancer had finally stopped singing. Apparently it's true what they say, there is nothing a little duct tape won't take care of!
It took our travelers quite awhile to make it out of the airport. The Goddess insisted that they stop at every slot machine along the way. Not to play mind you, but just to watch the pretty colors spinning around. And once Trancer got free of the duct tape there was a 45 minute interlude where she alternated between maniacal ranting (something about Elvis, Lisa Marie, Fox Mulder, and Goddess forgive me, fried peanut butter and banana sandwiches) and misguided promises at revenge (oh yes the triplet would pay, and pay dearly. There was definitely a trip to the Liberace Museum in the bard's future).
(at the car rental place)
Clerk: I'm sorry Ms Monson, you're not going to believe this. It's the strangest thing. It seems all of our vehicles have been rented, and all we are left with is...
MM: (mumbling) Datsun, F-10 yellow hatch backs.
Clerk: Yeah. How did you know?
MM: Lucky guess.
(the travelers step out side)
Trancer: Hades Melissa! It's hot as Tartarus here.
GC: No it's not. Shot gun!
TR & MM: (duck)
HL: Erin's not with us Callisto.
GC: It's a figure of speech, it means I get the front seat.
HL: (blank stare)
MM: Ok fasten your seatbelts. You too Goddess.
GC: (begrudgingly fastens her seatbelt, sometimes it was best just not to argue with the bard)
MM: Ok here we go. (applies gentle pressure to the gas pedal. Ok who are we kidding she slammed her foot down on the gas, propelling the little Datsun to it's full speed of 45 miles per hour)
GC: (looking out the window) What's that?
MM: University of Nevada, Las Vegas.
GC: (LOL!) No really, what is it?
MM: (blank stare) It's a university. You know like Darth Skeye goes to.
GC: (LOL!) Yeah right, the University of Las Vegas. What do you scribe there? Gambling tips? Showgirl tunes? No, no wait, Elvis impersonations! (LOL!)
MM: (scowl)
In the back seat...
Trancer: Burn, baby burn...disco inferno.
HL: S-A-T-U-R-D-A-Y Night!
Trancer: Oh Mickey, what a pity you don't understand, it's guys like you Mickey...
HL: Ok you've forced my hand...C'mon Ilene...
In the front Seat....
MM & GC: (Where's the duct tape when you need it?)
GC: Hey bard! You just let that taxi pass us. Move over, I'm driving.
MM: I don't think that would....(crunched up between the door and Callisto, who's now in the driver seat)...be such a good idea.
GC: Now which one of these little buttons is for go? (slams on the brakes) Oops, good thing you had your seatbelt on Bard.
MM: (all munched up by the force of the seatbelt) (squeaky voice) Yes.
In the Back seat....
Trancer: Oh, ok. You pull out Dexy's Midnight Runners on me eh? Physical. Olivia Newton John. Jump. Pointer Sisters. Both Barrels! Yeah!
HL: I'll go ya' one better...The beautiful people, The beautiful people, duh-duh-duh/ The beautiful people, The beautiful people, duh-duh-duh
Front seat....
MM: (Man I wish Matt were here)
GC: You two stop that back there, you are making my bard go crazy. Hey Melissa, why is that guy in the car with all the flashy lights waving at me like that?
MM: It's the police.
HL: (leaning over the seat) Which song?
MM: No. THE police.
GC: Pull over bard.
MM: Uhm, you're driving Goddess.
GC: Oh so I am. (Stops the Car, scoots back to the passenger side of the seat)
MM: Thanks Goddess.
GC: No problem.
Cop: (gun drawn) Step out of the vehicle.
GC: Don't move bard, I'll take care of this.
Trancer: Use the force Luke.
GC: Of course I'll use force. (That Trancer sure has a knack for stating the obvious.)
Cop: I said step out of the vehicle.
GC: The bard has done nothing wrong.
Cop: The bard has done...hey! What the heck's a bard?
MM: Excuse me? What's a bard?
GC: A bard, dear man, is a spineless, cowardly, miserable, wretched creature who leaches of the heroics of others by writing their deeds on little scrolls.
MM: Hi. (little wave)
Cop: Well ok then your spineless creature here just broke about 15 different traffic laws. No offense.
MM: (blank stare)
GC: (blank stare)
(((ZAP)))
MM: Thanks Goddess.
GC: don't mention it.
In the back seat...
HL: "I saw the Sign" Ace of Base
Trancer: "Ice Ice Baby" by the man himself Vanilla Ice. "Stop, collaborate and listen / Ice is back with a brand new edition"
GC: (having had about all she could take, spins around points to Trancer) For you; "(I just died) In your arms tonight" By The Cutting Crew (points to HL, thinks then points to Melissa) and for you; KC and the Sunshine Band's (Do a Little dance, Make a Little Love) Get Down Tonight.
MM: Why Goddess?
GC: (blank stare) Just shut up and drive.
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