Highlander Patches

The HighlaDerm Help Patch System

Okay, fellow ATH nuts, here goes once again!
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------The HighlaDerm Help Patch System------

Welcome Highlander fans everywhere. You may be new to the HighlaDerm Patch System. As well you might. This system was developed by Dr. Wendy just this year as we all learned that Highlander: The Series, as we know it, will be ending in a few months. The HighlaDerm Patch is a safe, easy system to help us overcome the problems of the Hair Mistake and life with people who do not understand us.....the few.... the proud....the Highlander fan!

The Patches come in five types. I assure you that no animals were used in the testing of the Patch....only Highlander fan hairdressers. Below are the five types and how to wear them.

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All Patches are about the size of an American quarter. Choose the type that suits you best.

Each Patch lasts approximately 48 hours.

If you feel your case is a difficult one, please see me privately. The patch has no side effects. It will have a scent that is slightly diiferent to each of us. Personally, my Patch smells like expensive Swiss chocolate. Other reported scents were green tea, white roses, a candlelit room, old leather, the Seine River and assorted beers. No unpleasant smells have been reported.

Here are our Patch types:
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THE DUNCAN: This Patch shows a head shot of long, flowing brown hair on Mac. It is worn next to the heart....that's the left breast, ladies.
THE AMANDA: This Patch is of Amanda in her favorite color, black....bra and panties. It should be worn closest to your wallet.
THE JOE: This Patch has a neon flashing sign of Joe's Place. This Patch is worn next to either side of your mouth, not too close, so you can enjoy your drinks.
THE CASSANDRA: The Cassandra Patch shows a long fingernail, painted bright red. If possible, wear it on your own nail.
THE METHOS: The Methos Patch shows a pair of silk blue boxers. It is usually worn on the temple, close to your hair and grey matter.
THE WATCHER: The Watcher Patch shows the insignia of its group. It is always worn on the inside wrist.
THE RICHIE: This Patch is a free floating head of Richie. It is worn where his motorcycle would be, That is either buttock cheek.

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Places your Patches in the appropriate place.

You should begin to feel a lessening of anxiety and sadness within 30 minutes.

Thank you for your patience in following these essential instructions. I am available 24 hours a day for private sessions or crises. Simply dial DRW-HELP.

For more help with our lives as Highlander fans please attend the Therapy Sessions. There, we will address specific issues, such as:

Where DO all the bodies go;
How can I make my own fog;
Does hair really grow only one half inch a month
....and other troubling questions.

NOW GO HAVE SOME FUN!
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