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Afterthoughts: Wading in the Shallow
By: Taygeta
Joey tossed and turned restlessly on the living room couch of her sister's house, where she had been trying to sleep for the last three hours. Exhaling deeply, she sat up and eyed the glowing moon in the sky. The night was so peaceful…so quiet, but her mind was going a mile a minute…going so fast with a million thoughts that she wasn't sure where one thought ended and another thought began.
Frustrated, she kicked the covers from her feet and decided to go into Joey-sulk mode, or as Pacey often described it as, her hellcat-horrors demeanor, but it wasn't any use to sulk when she was all alone. Sulking was another person thing, and since Pacey was often the one that received the biting end of her demeanor, it made sense why he named it that.
Sighing, she thought about the entirety of that day…what she said, how she acted, what they said and acted, what she saw…she groaned as she thought about what she had seen while rowing away from Dawson's house. Go figure that for once his film maker conspirator thoughts would be true…and it just so happened that she was the one that saw…that knew…that didn't want to tell.
"He'd antagonize me forever," she muttered in the darkness as she leaned back against her pillow and pushed the thought of what she saw out of her mind, only to receive another thought in return…Jennifer Lindley.
Joey made a face at the very name as she thought how the major wannabe goody-goody front was so obvious. How Dawson could be even more clueless than he was already, was beyond her. The only thing she had going for her was her mysterious mien and her NYC past life…strictly off what Joey thought was such the ditz scale. However, the other blonde, the one she called her best friend, thought otherwise. She knew what he saw…the external - boobs, legs, face…she saw it in expression…she heard it in his words. Why couldn't he like a girl for who she was? Or at least after all these years see a girl for what dwelled inside and…
The restricted thought stayed restricted as she felt her throat tightened with the repetitive flashing mental image of his hand over Jen's. He had told her that he had thought her pretty, but why did it have to take the difference…the lipstick…for him to say that? It was just lipstick…just a stupid concoction of colors…just a stupid shade that made him look for her a second longer than he usually did. It didn't mean anything…just like the lipstick…just like his newly found infatuation with Jennifer Lindley…it was shallow.
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