Hyde, Eric and Fez are hanging out as usual...
TV: ...And now on our show, the surprise you've all been wating for; our brand new game: You think, you lose!...
HYDE: Write that down, man. We're gonna make a fortune with Kelso.
TV: ...But first, let's watch our interesting 3-hour documentary on different kinds of soup... And here we have chicken soup, onion soup.....
HYDE: That's crap, man! Change it, Fez.
ERIC: UUUGGHH!!! That brown stuff looks like grandma's bunion.
FEZ & HYDE: UUUGGHH!!!!
ERIC: Fez, just turn it off.
The door opens and Kelso enters, tripping over a chair nearby. He looks at his feet while getting up.
KELSO: Oh, man, my shoes are switched! Ooohh, that's why I've been falling over my own feet all day.
Donna comes in carrying some beer.
DONNA: Hey, guys! I stole some beer from our garage, we were keeping it for dad's birthday party but...
FEZ: Yes!! Beer, whore!
Two hours later....
HYDE: Fifty one......burp!
Hyde tries to place an empty can of beer on the table, but misses.
FEZ: Eric, you never told me you have a twin brother...oh, mama, now there's three of you!
DONNA: Kelso, what are you doing iside the washing machine?
KELSO: Isn't this the new bathroom?
ERIC: You didn't pee in there, did you?
KELSO: ummh......no.
Suddenly Eric jumps on the table.
ERIC: There was something in the air that night, the stars were bright, Fernando....
DONNA: Why are you all spinning around me while talking?
HYDE: Am I the only one hearing anoying screams?
Jackie was reaching the door...
JACKIE: where's Michael?!.......MICHAEL!!!!!
She finally enters.
JACKIE: Oh, my God! Oh, my God! Oh, my God!
EVERYONE BUT JACKIE: What?!?!?!
JACKIE: What have you done to your hair, Eric?! Brown, red or blonde are ok but......GREEN?!?!?!
DONNA: Yeah, it's getting greener. Why didn't we notice that before?
KELSO: That's right! and what's that thing coming out of your hair? Everybody...run! It's an alligator!!
JACKIE: Michael, are you drunk?
Eric runs upstairs and grabs a mirror.
ERIC: AAAAAAAHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!
Red passes by.
RED: Eric, take that stupid wig off your head! Oh, and sweep the garage.
He goes out through the front door. Everybody runs upstairs to the living room and starts making fun of Eric's lettuce-like hair.
DONNA: Looks like we've gotta cut some grass.
JACKIE: Look it this way, Eric. Now you won't have to wait for your hair to grow, just water it!
KELSO: Yeah, Eric's hair...
ERIC: Shut up, Kelso! It isn't funny! We've gotta fix this, ok. I don't want to be a walking plant for the rest of my life.
HYDE: I knew it! Somehow you're becoming an alien, man. They want to take over the world and the government knows it. They have a deal with theese aliens.....the beer, that's it! They have put something weird in the beer, everybody drinks beer! We're gonna be their mutant slaves! See? We're their cattle!
The door is violently opened and 2 people come in.
SCULLY & MULDER: Agents Scully and Mulder, FBI.
ERIC: Ummh.....could you consider ringing the bell next time?
MULDER: We've been reported about some paranormal activity, more specifically: extraterrestial life....
SCULLY: Don't start, Mulder! Anyway, we've been reported about a serious hair color-change case.
FEZ: Oh, no, but that's not strange in Eric.
DONNA: Well, the point is that it has gone green this time.
MULDER: And we have reasons to believe it has to do with aliens.
HYDE: Yeah, man!
SCULLY: Mulder, please...
MULDER: No, Scully! We've gotta let the truth be known. Because out there, in space, there is a much more intelligent kind of life than us and the government denies its knowledge. They're all involved in this and want to abduct all of us to use us as guinea pigs. My sister.....
He pauses and takes a look around.
EVERYONE BUT MULDER & HYDE: Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz...............
MULDER: Come on, you people! Wake up!....As I was saying, my sister was abducted by the aliens when I was 12.
DONNA: Are you sure it was a sister? wasn't it a brother with an Afro?
HYDE: Not me! probably Kelso, that explains everything. They took his brain and replaced it with a sponge.
SCULLY: I'm gonna take some hair samples to the lab.
She cuts some of Eric's hair and leaves.
HYDE: So, Mulder, right? Well, I've got this theory......
Hyde starts explaining Mulder as they sit down to talk. Sitting on the couch, Kelso, Donna, Eric and Fez were talking.
KELSO: I tell you, I'm breaking up with Jackie.
JACKIE: Michael, I am right behind you!!!
Jackie grabs Kelso by the ear and takes him with her.
FEZ: In my country, we would dig a hole in the ground, put you in it and wait 'till fruit start growing fromyour arms.
ERIC: Fez, why don't you go to the kitchen. You can eat some toast if you want to.
FEZ: Can I have some beer too, whore?
ERIC: No,...just the toast.
Fez goes to the kitchen leaving Eric and Donna on the couch.
DONNA: So, green....isn't......ummh.......entirely bad.
ERIC: Maybe, you could consider me a walking mistletoe.
DONNA: You mean, we can hang you somewhere at Christmas?
They laugh. Eric is about to kiss Donna when the front door opens and Scully enters. A second later, Fez comes back from the kitchen.
SCULLY: I'm afraid this has nothing to do with little green men, that's Mulder's crap. It's just a simple allergic reaction from the root of your hair at being in contact with some strange substance in your blood, probably present in the alcohol you've been drinking. As regards to the colour, don't worry. All you have to do is wait a little 'till it goes back to normal.
MULDER: What are you doing, Scully? You're ruining my entire life work, lady!! This is some alien conspiracy and I know it!
HYDE: Yeah, we know it! And we'll prove it, 'cause the truth is out there, man!!!
SCULLY: Mulder, face it. There aren't any little green men in outer space. Let's go home and I'll give you a massage. Is there any champagne in your fridge?
Mulder and Scully say goodbye and leave.
ERIC: So, there was something weird in that beer.
They all turn to Donna giving her an odd look.
DONNA: Guys, did I mention we were keeping that beer.....
EVERYBODY BUT DONNA: Yeah, for your dad's bithday.
DONNA: No, SINCE my dad's birthday party......five years ago.
Everybody runs out the living room with their hands in their mouths willing to find a place where to throw up.
Come on! read even more!
© 1997 s0216336@cc.ysu.edu
Get your own Free Home Page