Continued
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CH. 1
Brenda stood on the deck of the Quartermaine yacht. They were all
headed to
Brooklyn for Ned and Lois's wedding. Everyone was having a good time,
but her.
She suddenly felt someone watching her. It was Sonny.
''Can we talk?''
''I'd really just like to enjoy the view.''
''Can we enjoy it together?''
She went and sat down. Anywhere away from him.
''Brenda, I'll make you a deal.''
''No deals Sonny. I'm tired and I don't want to live by your rules
anymore.''
''What are you saying?''
''I'm saying... I'm done. I'm through. No more. I'll pack my things
as soon as we get
back to PC.''
''What the hell are you talking about?''
''It's over Sonny. You can have your space back.''
''I don't want it back. I want you! Where the HELL is this coming
from?''
''Sonny, listen. We don't fit. We're too different. I need someone
who will talk to me,
you need someone like.. like Lily.''
''What?! Brenda, you're not making any sense. Why are you doing
this?''
Ch2
''I’m doing this because its right. It doesn’t work anymore. We don’t
work
anymore.''
''You’re lying. To me and to yourself. Don’t do this.''
''Its already done. When we get back to Port Charles I’m gonna get my
things from
the apartment. I’d appreciate it if you weren’t there.''
''Why? So it’ll be easier? So you won’t have to look in my eyes when I’m
pleading
with you to stay?''
''Yes.''
''Tough. You don’t want this.''
''Yes I do. I wanna know that when I take a shower I don’t have to
worry about
being shot.'' He flinched.
''I’m sorry.''
''Ill do anything to keep you.''
''You can’t. There’s nothing you can do. It’s over Sonny.''
''No.''
''Yes.'' She stood up and walked inside. She made a beeline for the
ladies room and
locked herself in. She had gotten out of Sonny’s eyeline just in time.
The tears spilt
over and ran down her cheeks as she sank to the floor, sobbing. Sonny
was right.
She didn’t want to do this. She had to do this. She had to distance
herself from him
that way it would hurt less if he got hurt or died. But why did it
have to hurt so much?
!@!@!@!@!@!@!@!
Sonny stood on the deck. He felt the tears coarse down his face. He
heard her
words. ''Its over Sonny.'' It couldn’t be over. Not like this. But it
was. The one thing
he feared most since they had gotten together was happening. He was
losing her and
it was his fault. She was scared to death and that was his fault to.
What was he
supposed to do without her? The thought of going on was inconceivable
to him. She
was his life, his whole world. But he had never told her that and now
it was too late.
''Sonny? Are you okay?''
Ch 3
Sonny turned around. Lily was standing there.
''Sonny what happened? Are you alright?''
He shook his head. She went over to him and wrapped her arms around
him. They
stayed on the deck wrapped in each other for a long time.
Finally Sonny pulled away.
''Sonny, what happened?''
''Brenda left me.'' He said it so quietly he could barely hear it
himself.
''Sonny I'm so sorry. I hate to say this, but Brenda doesn't
understand. She doesn't
understand you or your business. It's better this way. Trust me.''
********************
Brenda sat on the floor of the ladies room. The yacht swayed
slightly, but still she felt
like she was going to throw up. Probably because she had just left
the man she loved.
''Why did you do it? Oh, yeah because it's safer away from him.''
Then she thought
back to all the fights and they way he seemed more interested in
Lily, than her. ''Why
did he give up so easily? Why didn't he fight harder to hang on to
us?''
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Stone and Robin found Lily and Sonny on the deck. Lily excused
herself and left the
three friends.
''Sonny, what happened? You look like you just got sucker punched.''
''I did. Brenda called it quits.''
''Whatta mean? You mean you two broke up?''
''Yep.''
''Ah, man. That's crazy! Why? What did you do to her now?''
Ch 4
''I nearly got her killed. Is that a good enough reason for you?''
''Man I’m sorry.''
''Me too Sonny.'' Sonny looked at Bren’s surrogate little sister
hopefully.
''Robin do you think you could talk to her? Make her see that she’s
making a
mistake.''
''Sonny, don’t ask me to get in the middle of this.''
''Please?''
“Oh alright. But if she kills me I’m coming back to haunt YOU.''
''Deal. Thanks Robin.''
''Thank me later with a piece of chocolate mousse.'' She kissed Stone
and headed
inside. Her first stop was the ladies room. She tried the door but
found it was locked.
She knocked on it. ''Bren? You in there? Its Robin.''
''Go away Robin. I’m not in the mood for talking.''
''Bren, please. I just need to know that you’re alright.'' A few
minutes of silence and
then Robin heard the lock click and then the door opened slowly.
''C’mon in.'' Robin stepped inside and took a good look at her best
friend. Her face
was tearstained and she looked like her dog had just died.
''Awww honey. C’mere.'' Robin enveloped her in a hug. She was shaking
like a leaf.
Then they sat down on the floor. ''Ya wanna talk about it?''
''It hurts Robin. God this hurts so much.''
''Why are you doing it then?''
@#@#@#@#@#@#@#@
''I can’t believe this.'' Sonny said as he stared at the water.
''I don’t know what to say man, except that ‘Im sorry.''
''Yeah me too.'' He looked down and then back up. ''I cant even
imagine life without
her. Its too hard. I hate the thought of sleeping without her. I don’t
even remember
what its like not to sleep with her next to me. Not to have her there
when I wake up
and feel her breath. I can’t lose her Stone. I can’t.''
''I know man. You and Brenda belong together just like me and Robin,
Lois and
Ned, hell even Luke and Laura. It’ll work out.''
''But what if it doesn’t?''
Ch.5
Brenda looked at Robin. ''I'm doing this because it's what's best.''
''Best? Best for who? Sonny's miserable and you’re in here crying.''
''Robin. I can't explain it. I love Sonny more than anything, but I
can't keep doing this
to myself.''
''Doing what?''
''This, Robin. He puts my life in danger, and then says it won't
happen again, but it
does. He's lying to me, Robin. I know he is.''
''About what?''
''He's not out of the mob. I think he's running things.''
''What? Where did you come up with that idea?''
''After the shower, I went to see Mike in the hospital and we started
talking. Robin, it
doesn't make sense that these guys, would come after Sonny just
because he went
legit. He has to be calling the shots. It's the only thing that makes
sense.''
@@@@@@@@@@@
''Sonny, ya know I love you right?''
''Yeah.''
''I mean what you're doing for me and Robin, well it means a lot to
us. But, I gotta tell
ya man, I'm not surprised that Bren split when she did. In fact I'm a
little surprised
she didn't do it sooner.''
''If that's suppose to cheer me up Stone it isn't working.''
''Sonny, I don't have a lot of time left. So I'm gonna tell you the
truth. Brenda loves
you, and I know you love her. But you gotta let HER know that.''
''I do, Stone.''
''No, Sonny you don't. At least not in a way that she can
understand.''
''What do you mean?''
''I mean, you're to hard on her, Sonny. You don't trust her, and you
should spend
less time with Lily.''
''Lily? Not you too! Stone Lily is my FRIEND! that's it.''
''I know that and you know that, but Bren doesn't. She thinks that
Lily's feelings for
you are more than friendship, and I think she's right.''
''What?''
''Sonny, I think that Lily's in love with you. Remember how you went
crazy when you
thought that Miguel had the hots for Brenda? (Sonny nodded) Well it's
the same thing
here, except that Miguel didn't want Brenda and Lily does want you.
You better be
careful Sonny.''
''Careful? About what?''
''Well, it seems to me that Lily knows a little to much about your
other business, and
well, I think that Lily is a little to good to be true.''
Ch. 6
It had been 2 weeks, since that day on the yacht. The wedding had
been difficult.
When Sonny had watched Brenda walk down the aisle, he couldn't help
himself from
seeing her wearing a wedding dress. However, when they got back to
PC, she did as
she said she would and moved out.
Brenda had moved into the Brownstone. She liked living close to
Felicia and Bobbie.
The place was nice. It had 2 bedrooms and large living/dining room.
She was
teaching herself how to cook, but so far the only thing she could
make was a decent
hamburger. She was keeping herself busy with Deception and L&B.
But, every night she dreamt of Sonny.
@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@
Sonny spent most of his time downstairs in the club. He hated going
upstairs to their
place. It was too empty. He had slept on the couch since she left. He
couldn't force
himself to sleep in their bed without her. He missed her so much. He
was wandering
around their bedroom one morning, when he found something
behind the dresser. It was a beautiful antique necklace. It had been
her maternal
grandmother's. It was the only thing she had of her mother. He
thanked g*d for this
excuse to see her.
@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@
Brenda had felt sick all morning.
''I think maybe I should give up trying to cook.'' Just as she said
this she ran to the
bathroom to throw up for the third time. She laid down on her couch,
hoping that this
wave of nausea would pass. The doorbell rang. She got up and opened
the door.
''Sonny? What are you doing here?''
Ch 7
''I found this behind the dresser.'' He said holding up the necklace.
''Thank you. I thought I lost it.'' She said taking it from him.
''Can I come in for a minute?''
''Sonny I’m not feeling well right now so I don’t think it would be such a
good idea.''
''I just want to talk.''
''There’s nothing to talk about.''
''I think there is. Please?''
''Alright.'' She stepped aside an allowed him to enter. ''Have a
seat. Do you want
something to drink?''
''No I’m fine. Bren?''
''Yeah?''
''I miss you.''
''Sonny it won’t work. We won’t work.''
''How can you say that?''
''I can’t be who you need.''
''You already are.''
''You need someone who won’t ask any questions and who won’t talk to
you and
who won’t try and make you express your feelings. I need someone who
will talk to
me and let me know how they’re feeling.''
''You wanna know how I’m feeling? I’ll tell you. I can’t sleep at night.
I think about
you all the time. I love you. I want you back. I want you in my life.
Hell you are my
life.''
''Sonny don’t do this. Don’t make this any harder than it has to be.''
''It’s already hard. It’s hard not sleeping next to you at night. It’s
hard not seeing your
face when I wake up in the morning or feeling your breath when I fall
asleep at night.''
''Sonny what do you want me to do?''
''Come home. Please come home.''
Ch. 8
''I can't Sonny. We can't be together. Why don't you listen to me?''
''I do listen to you, when you're telling the truth, and right now
you're not.''
''Sonny it won't work between us.''
''Why?''
''Because you don't trust me.''
''I trust you more than any woman in my life.''
''No you don't! Sonny if you trusted me at all you would be honest
with me about
your mob connections.''
''How many times do I have to tell you that I'm out before you'll
believe me?''
Brenda stood there amazed.
''You say you trust me? Then why did you just lie to my face? Sonny,
I think you
better leave. I have things to do.''
''Brenda-''
''Please Sonny, before I say something that I might regret. Go be
happy. That's what
I want for you, Sonny. I'm sure Lily would like the chance to try.''
''Brenda, stop it. You know that Lily and I are just friends.''
''It really doesn't matter anymore. I have no say in who your friends
are. I'm sorry
Sonny, but it's over.''
''Like hell it is.''
He grabbed her and kissed her hard, she kissed him back. Neither
wanted it to end.
Finally Sonny pulled back. He held her face in his hands and rested
his forehead
against hers.
''What the hell gives you the right!'' Brenda screamed at Sonny.
Sonny was crying slightly now. ''I love you and you love me. No words
can change
that. You can't make yourself fall out of love Brenda. I'll go, but I
want you to know
that I'm not giving up. I'll never give up.''
He shut the door and Brenda crumpled to the floor. ''I love you too,
Sonny.''
Ch 9
''Brenda you look like hell.''
''It's nice to see you too Lois.''
''Well I'm sorry but you do. Are you alright?''
''I've been sick as a dog for two weeks.''
''What is it? The flu?''
''It doesn't feel like the flu.''
''What's it feel like?''
''I don't know.''
''You should get yourself checked out.''
''I guess. Call Alan while I go throw up again.'' Brenda ran for the
bathroom and Lois
called Alan. She set up an appointment for the next day. She had just
hung up when
Brenda came into the living room.
''Well?''
''Tomorrow at 2. Ya want some company?''
''Yeah sure.''
NEXT AFTERNOON
''So Alan what's the verdict?''
''Well the throwing up should last about two or three more weeks.''
''What? Isn't there an antibiotic that you can give me?''
''Not in this case. Brenda you're pregnant.''
Ch. 10
''I'm sorry Alan, I thought you said that I was pregnant!'' She was
laughing a little, she
knew she had heard him right the first time, but didn't want to
believe it.
''No, Brenda you're 6 weeks pregnant. You're due February 8.''
''Thanks Alan.'' Lois said noticing the shell-shocked expression on
her best friends
face. Alan had noticed it to and left.
''Bren, ya OK?''
''No, Lois I'm not. What am I suppose to do now?''
''Bren, we'll figure it out. Maybe you should just go home and
rest.''
''Yeah that sounds like a good idea.''
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Lois and Brenda walked out and headed for the elevators. Just as they
were about to
get on Sonny walked out with Stone and Robin.
''Lois, Brenda, hi.''
''Hiya Sonny. What are you guys doing here?''
''I'm here for a check up.'' Stone said.
Sonny noticed that Brenda didn't look very well.
''Brenda are you OK?''
''I'm fine why do you ask?''
''No reason. Why are you two here?''
Before either one could answer Amy trotted over.
''Brenda, I'm so glad that I caught you. You almost forgot your
prescription for your
pre-natal vitamins.''
Brenda took the prescription and Amy left. Stone, Robin and Lois
looked at Sonny.
He looked like someone had just knocked the wind out of him.
''Brenda, are you pregnant?''
Ch 11
''I- I- I think I'm gonna be sick.'' Brenda ran for the bathroom. She
was quickly
followed by Lois and Robin. Stone looked at Sonny.
''Are you okay?''
''I don't know. Do you think she is?''
''Well what are the chances?''
''Pretty slim. We always used protection except for one time.''
Sonny's voice
trailed off as he remembered the night of the shower.
~ He felt Brenda sit up in bed. Even though he wasn't touching her he
could still feel
her shake. She started to get out of bed and he sat up beside her. He
took her hand
in his. She looked at him. Even in the dark he could see the fear in
her eyes.
''Sonny?'' Her voice pleaded with him to hold her. He complied as he
pulled her into
his arms. As she slowly stopped shaking she shifted in his arms to
look up at him.
She reached a hand up and pulled his face down to hers. As it got
more intense he
laid down with her on top of him. He stripped her of her nightgown
and she stripped
him of his boxer shorts. Then he caught her off guard as he turned
her over and laid
her down. She traced his face before kissing him again. They made
love as a
reassurance that the other was real and there. ~
''Sonny? Yo Sonny. Where'd you go?''
''God Stone. She could be.''
''Well I think we're gonna find out. Here comes Robin.''
''Robin? What happened? Is she pregnant?''
Ch. 12
Robin looked at Sonny.
''So, Robin is she really pregnant?''
''Sonny, yeah, she is. 6 weeks.''
Sonny swallowed the large lump in his throat. She was pregnant and
out of his life.
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Brenda and Lois sat on the floor of the hospital bathroom.
''Oh, g*d Lois, he knows. He knows about my baby.''
''Your baby? Ya know the last time I checked you couldn't get
pregnant without a
little help.''
''What am I gonna do? He's been hassling me about getting back
together and now
with the baby he's going to be relentless.''
''Brenda, why are you fighting him so hard? You love him and lord
knows the man is
crazy in love with you.''
''I just can't be with someone who doesn't respect me enough to trust
me. And
besides, Lois, what if we do get back together and something like
this Scully situation
comes up again. I'd be not only putting my life in danger, but my
child's as well.''
''Well, ya know he's waiting out there for you. Whatta ya gonna do?''
13
''I don't know Lois. Can't you go and get rid of him?''
''Brenda ya can't avoid him forever.''
''I don't want to avoid him forever. Just long enough to figure out
what in God's name
I'm gonna do.''
''I'll try. Stay put.''
@#@#@#@#@#@
''Robin I wanna talk to her.''
''Sonny she's really confused and upset right now. I think it'd be
better if you just
gave her some space right now.''
''Robin's right Sonny. Brenda told me to tell you she doesn't really
wanna talk right
now. She just wants to think things out.'' Lois said walking up.
''What does she want me to do?''
''Leave her alone for awhile. Give her some space. Honey are you
gonna be alright
while Lo and I take her home?''
''Yeah I'll be fine. See ya later?''
''Definitely.'' Robin stood on her tiptoes as Stone hugged and kissed
her. She and
Lois went back into the ladies room and Stone and Sonny went to his
check-up.
@#@#@#@#@#@#@
It'd been two days since Brenda had found the news. Sonny had
respected her
wishes and stayed away. She was glad for the quiet it helped her
think. She had
finally decided what to do. She was gonna leave Port Charles. She
needed to get
away from Sonny and from her memories of them. She wasn't going to
tell him. She
knew he'd try to stop her. Ned had helped her find a place in the
city and she was all
packed. Bobbie and Felicia had wished her well and said that she'd
always have a
place to stay in the Brownstone. Lois and Robin had tried to talk her
out of it but
finally became resigned to the fact that she was going.
@#@#@#@#@#@#@
Sonny was climbing the walls. It'd been two days since he found out
Brenda was
gonna have a baby. Finally he'd decided he'd had enough and headed
over to the
Brownstone. He knocked on the door and was surprised when Bobbie
answered it.
''Bobbie is Brenda here?''
''I'm sorry Sonny but Brenda moved out this morning.''
Ch. 14
Brenda walked around her new apartment. Ned was right, she did love
it. It was big
and spacious, with a great view of the city. It had 2 large rooms, a
huge bathroom,
kitchen, living/dining room, and a small spare room that she decided
would make a
great office. she sat down on the couch. She was really tired. The
phone rang and
she leaned over to grab it.
''Hello?''
''Bren? How ya doin'?''
''Lois, I'm fine, really. You don't have to check up on me.''
''I wasn't, I just..''
''You were just checking up in me.''
''OK, OK, I was checking up on you. Can you blame me? I mean my
bestest
girlfriend breaks up with the man she loves, finds out she's pregnant
and then skips
town.''
''Well, don't worry, we're gonna be fine.''
''Yeah, well I miss you.''
''I miss you too. Hey tell Ned that I love the apartment. It's great.
I'm really happy
with it.''
''Bren?''
''What? I am happy Lo.''
''Brenda, who are you trying to kid here? It's me Lois, your best
friend. So spill, how
ya really doing?''
''I miss him like crazy Lo. I feel his arms around me when I go to
bed at night.''
''That bad huh?''
!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!
Sonny's limo careened to a stop in front of her building. He had had
people looking
for her since Bobbie told him that she moved out of the Brownstone 3
days ago. He
ran up the stairs to her apartment. He was
furious at her for taking off, without talking to him. She was
pregnant damnit. They
were having a baby, and she thought that she could just leave? He
found her
apartment and knocked on the door.
''Hang on Lo, someone's at my door.''
''Ya met someone already?''
''No, I don't know any one here? I wonder who it is.''
She opened the door to find a very angry Sonny staring at her.
''Just who the hell do you think you are Brenda?''
Ch 15.
''Uh Lo? I'm gonna have to call you back.''
'''Kay. Bye.''
''Bye.'' Brenda clicked the off button on her phone. She looked at
Sonny. Oh boy
was he angry. ''How'd you find me?''
''Took some doing but when you have a lot of people working for you
it generally
gets the job done. Do I get to come in or were you planning on
holding our
conversation in the doorway?''
''By all means please come in.'' Brenda stepped aside and Sonny
walked into her
apartment. She shut the door and took a deep breath before turning
around to face
him.
''You gonna answer my question?''
''Which one was that again?''
''What the hell do you think you're doing skipping town like that?''
''I didn't know I needed my ex-boyfriend's approval to move out of
town. Or did the
fact that you and I broke up conveniently slip your mind?''
''Did the fact that you're carrying our child conveniently slip your
mind?''
''I knew this was gonna happen. You expect me to come running back to
you just
because I'm pregnant, don't you?''
''No not just because of that. What about the fact that we love each
other? Doesn't
that factor into the equation?''
''Yes it does but Sonny-''
''But nothing. Do you love me?''
''What?''
''Do you love me?''
''Yes you know I do.''
''Than what's the problem?''
Ch. 16
''Sonny. Everything's different now.''
''How?''
''I'm pregnant. I don't want my child to grow up in your world.''
''So you would rather have our child grow up without its father?''
''If that's what I have to do to protect her I will.''
''Well, what about you? Can you live without me? Because I know that
I can't live
without you. And more importantly can you raise this child alone?''
''Of course I can raise my baby!''
''That's not what I meant Brenda. I'm just saying that you never had
a mother and -''
''And what?! I'm incapable of being a good mother? Is that what your
saying? You
don't think I can do this do you?''
''Brenda this isn't about what I think you can do or not. It's about
what's best for us
and our baby. Now, I want us to be a family.''
''A family? Oh, you mean where you call all the shots and I wind up
barefoot and
pregnant in the kitchen?''
''Of course not, I would never let you in my kitchen. It was a joke
Brenda.''
''Ha Ha. Your humor is overwhelming.''
''Brenda don't you ever think about us being a family? What it would
be like?''
''Sonny I think you should leave.''
''Why? Am I getting to close to the truth for you? You know that this
is a mistake,
but you're just too stubborn to admit it. Just answer this, do you
still love me and do
you want to be a family?''
chapter 17
''Sonny, I do love you and I dream about us, you, me, and the baby,
being a family.
But not by your rules, and your rules alone! I tried to ignore it, I
really did, but I can't
live in fear. I don't want to be scared to
leave my baby sleeping in the next room while I shower. I don't want
our child to
grow up taking bodyguards for show and tell.''
''I know you don't, and neither do I. But Bren, you have to believe
me when I say I'll
protect you.''
''I used to believe that, and I try really hard to, but too many
times, that very promise
has been broken. And too many times you have looked into my soul,
though my
eyes, and lied right to it. The trust has been
broken much to much.''
''It may be bent, disfigured, mutilated, but it has not been
completely broken, at least
not beyond repair. I know because I still feel the same way I did one
fateful
Valentine's day, when I happened to be car shopping, and bumped into
another
member of the lonely hearts club. No, that's not true, and we're into
honesty now. I
can honestly say my feelings for you since that day have changed,
because I never
knew I
could love someone this much. Bren, I'm begging you, please give me
another
chance, give us another chance. If for nothing else, than for the
normal life of our
unborn child.''
Brenda sat back on the comfortable arm of the couch. This was a
decision that she
had second guessed, even before she made it. Every time he came to
her, it got
harder to say no. And now a baby on the way, the stakes were raised.
Continued
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