Chapter 49
"Sonny, answer me !" Brenda could feel fear and dread fill her body.
"This isn't the end yet. but the danger is still there."
Sonny looked away but Brenda made him look at her
"What do you mean ? Why'd you come back if it wasn't safe. You could be putting everyone in danger including me."
"It's safer than it was before. The Tin Man's dead and Davis Reese had been neutralized. His organization is almost nonexistent. The only threat is the possible fallout of my return. It could hurt Jason."
Brenda stared at him in wonder. He was actually telling her the truth. Everything. He wasn't holding anything back.
"What ?"
Brenda shook her head.
"I don't know. You just seem different and you're actually telling me what's going on."
"Ouch. I shocked you by not lying. I don't know if that's supposed to be a good thing or not. I guess I did change a little. Two years of total solitude can give you a lot of time to think."
"Don't I know it."
"You weren't completely alone. You had Mike, Lois and Robin."
"What else did they tell you ?"
"Not much."
"Lois visited me a couple times but she didn't move back permanently until about seven  months after you left. Robin came back about a month later. It was hard being around Mike for awhile but we managed to put everything behind us. I only had Julia and Jax for awhile."
"I thought you hated your sister."
"Can you believe we actually worked things out ? We don't hate each other. We're sisters. Our problems started with our father and ended there. We put that behind us and worked things out with Jax's help. "
"Where is he ?"
"Jax is off jetsetting around the world somewhere. We still talk a lot.  Last time we spoke, Jax was in Alaska with his parents."
Sonny nodded
"I told you about what was going on with me and everything else you wanted to know. Tell me what happened with you." 
Brenda started squirming uncomfortably. 



Chapter 50

"Like what ?" brenda asked
Sonny shrugged in response
"I just wanted to know what's going on with you and what happened with you after I left. I've been out of touch with everyone for awhile. I didn't even tell Jason where I was. I couldn't because it might spell trouble for him I asked Lois and Mike what happened with you but they just said that things were really bad for you and that I should talk to you like there was a huge secret."
Brenda took a deep breathe and finally spoke
"It's not exactly a huge secret."
"Then what is it?"
"After you left things were extremely hard for me. I couldn't do anything. I finally went back to work. I bought my shares of L&B back from Ned and we were handling things together. It didn't work out though."
"Why ? You loved working there. You were good at it."
"I had a lot of problems that I had to deal with outside the company that affected L&B so I quit again. Lois came back and we started everything up again at the Gatehouse. Lois and Ned have been great. I'm sorry. This is really difficult for me."
"The problems were because of me, weren't they ?" He asked trying to make things easier for her. He didn't know that he had done just the opposite.
"No....Yes. Sort of. I've been through so much in my life that it all started hitting me at once. I couldn't deal with it all. You know, Lucy convinced me to do a shoot for Jacks Cosmetics. We were going to tape it for a television special. I don't know what went wrong but I just lost it. There were all these people there. Jax had to leave and Lucy was late. I was standing there all dressed up and ready to go. The photographer was snapping pictures but there was something wrong with me. I started seeing things that weren't there. I kept seeing you. I started throwing and smashing things. They took me away." Brenda was crying by now and Sonny was watching her in disbelief as she told her story.
"Who is they ?" he asked hoarsely
"Someone called the EMT's. An ambulance came. Lucy and Jax calmed me down and  convinced ne to go. They put me in the psych ward. The doctors tried to have me committed and wouldn't let me be released. Jax finally got me out Christmas Day. "
 "What ? I didn't know any of this. I swear. I didn't hear about any of this happening. "
"They got my breakdown on tape. Somehow Jax stopped the tabloids from using it. They wouldn't let me out of the hospital. Julia tried to help me but-"
She turned to look at Sonny. She recognized the look on his face. He didn't believe her. She stared at him in horror. He wasn't ...he couldn't
"What are you thinking ?" she asked incredulously
"I...I can't believe any of this happened. Jason would have told me." Sonny stammered
"What ? Are you calling me a liar ? You think I would make all of this up ! You believe Jason over me ? You said so yourself that Jason didn't know where you were." 
Brenda wiped the tears away
"It's not like that. I would have known. I should have known if something was wrong."
"And you don't think that leaving mr like that wasn't wrong ? What did you expect would happen ? I would go on with my life like nothing happened ? As far as I'm concerned. Nothing did. This was a mistake. Why don't you have this talk with your precious loyal Jason. I 'm leaving."
Brenda got up in anger and walked to the front door, slamming it in anger and pain.
As soon as she got into the elevator she let the tears fall. She couldn't hold it in anymore. She let it all out.

Chapter 51

Sonny watched her leave in shock. He didn't even try to stop her as he tried to digest what she was telling him. So much could change in a few years. Except his feelings for Brenda. He had watched her modeling career plummet, had watched L&B's decline, and had wondered what was 
happening to her. He had known, even from a distance he had known that something was wrong, but he ignored that feeling in his gut. He brushed it off as just the pain of losing the woman he loved. The guilt he had for giving her up and causing her pain but it was much more than that. 
He shouldn't have walked away from her. She was the 
woman he had been madly, passionately in love with, was still in love with. 
He was the first and only woman he had ever really loved.
Seeing her standing on the docks and in the door of the penthouse had brought it all rushing 
back to him, and now listening to Brenda telling him about the hell she had been through. He should have stopped it. He should have gone back to Port Charles and fought for her, but instead he had let things end. God, what had he done. Sonny finally tore himself away from the thoughts that filled his head and glanced at the clock. Jason should be getting back soon. He'd make Jason tell him everything. He couldn't believe Jason try to look for him when all that stuff was happening with Brenda. She needed him and he wasn't there. He'd never be able to forgive himself but there was one thing he could do. Make things right if that was possible. But first he had to talk to Jason and find out as much as he could. He'd get Jason to tell him everything and not hold anything back.

Chapter 52

Sonny went upstairs to shower and change. When he came back downstairs Jason had just arrived.
"Hey Sonny. Renaldo said that you wanted to talk to me. Do you need me to do anything for you?"
"Yeah, one thing. Tell me the truth."
"About what ?" Jason asked. This couldn't be good. Renaldo said that Brenda had been there. Maybe she told him something.
"Brenda. She was here. I told her everything."
"Why ? I thought you didn't want her to know."
"That was before. I was protecting her but it was wrong. I can't keep lying to her. I asked her about what happened with her."
"What did she say ?" 
"Brenda told me that she almost lost L&B, how she lost it while trying to do some modeling work for Lucy and how she ended up at GH in the psych ward. She rushed out of here after I told her that you would've told me if something like that had happened. Wouldn't you have Jason ?"
Sonny was standing right in front of Jason, almost staring right through him.
"Is it true Jason ? " Sonny asked again when Jason remained silent. He didn't know what to say.
"Brenda went crazy and smashed a bunch of things. I went to see her and she seemed okay. Jax was taking care of her."
"That wasn't good enough. I asked you to take care of her."
"Look, I was in the hospital too. I went and smashed up Jason Quartermaine's room. I thought that she would be okay. "
"Brenda's not you. Everyone thinks that she's strong but she's not. Brenda's been through a lot. You were supposed to protect her ! I trusted you !"
"I can't protect her from herself."
"What the hell is that supposed to mean ? Brenda would never hurt herself." Sonny yelled
"They had her under suicide watch when she was at GH. Jax found her when she was about to take a pair of scissors to her face. They threw her back in the padded room. She's 2/3's crazy. I couldn't do anything."
Jason said calmly. Too calmly. It made Sonny angrier
"But I could have. If I had known then-"
"Then what Sonny ? You would have come back for her ? You left for a reason Sonny. You couldn't have come back. It was too dangerous."
Sonny was pacing across the room in anger 
"That wasn't your call to make ! Whatever reason I had to leave stopped being important. Brenda means more to me."
"That's why you couldn't come back. You can't think straight with her around. You said so yourself. It would have put all of you in danger. Mike and Jax said that I should bring you back to help her. I was going to look for you but Brenda said that she didn't want to see you."
"Brenda was in no position to be making choices like that."
"This was after she got out of the hospital. She was doing better. Brenda moved back into her house and started taking care of herself. She started seeing Kevin Collins and she had Robin."
Sonny looked at his best friend. He couldn't believe what he was saying to him.
"What changed ?"
"What ? "
"What made Brenda better ? It sure as hell wasn't either one of us."
"She found out something after she was released from the hospital. They ran some tests and found something."
"What ?"

Chapter 53

"They told her that she was pregnant."
Sonny blinked. He couldn't have heard him right.
"What ?"
"They told her she was two and a half months pregnant."
"How ? I mean..."
"Alan ran some tests and they told her. I didn't find out til later. Brenda has a kid. She named him Stone. Robin helps Brenda take care of him."
"I have a son ?" He said hoarsely
"Yes. I wasn't sure at first but yes. He's definitely yours."
The shock wore off and Sonny was getting really pissed off at Jason and everyone else who didn't let him know. They could have found a way to get in touch with him.
"Why didn't you tell me dammit ! Not telling me that Brenda was in trouble was one thing but this... I missed out on years with my son. I wasn't here to take care of Brenda."
"You couldn't have done anything. You would have brought danger back with you. All three of you would have been marked for death."
"That wasn't your call to make. Brenda needed me. My son needed me ! "
"Sonny-"
"Does Mike know ?"
"That he has a grandson ? Yeah. He's over there a lot."
"Oh, that's great ! The only father figure my son has is Mike. Dammit Jason. I should have been here raising my son with Brenda." 
"Look Sonny-"
"No you look. I trusted you ! I put Brenda's life in your hands dammit ! and by extension my son's. Now I see I made a huge mistake. One I won't make again."
"Sonny-"
Jason tried to explain and calm him down but Sonny wouldn't stand for it. 
"No you look. I can't deal with this right now. I have to get out of here. I have to talk to Brenda. Don't expect me back."
"Sonny, I know that you're angry-"
"Damn straight."
"But none of this was my fault. I begged you to stay. I asked you not to leave. I tried to get you to stay or at least talk to Brenda. You made the decision to leave."
Sonny knew that Jason was right but he couldn't talk about it right now. He could talk to Jason later. He had to go to Brenda. Sonny rubbed his face
"That doesn't make up for everything."
"I know but I did what I thought was best for everyone involved."
"You mean what was best for you." Sonny stated bluntly 
Jason could tell Sonny was very angry but there was nothing he could do about it now
"Look Sonny, you're my friend. You're like a brother to me. I missed you. I took over for you but I would have given anything to have you with me. I was fine working for you and taking orders. I like being in charge but I would never choose that over you."
"You already did,. " Sonny hissed as he grabbed his coat and walked out the door.  

Chapter  54

 Brenda rushed out of Sonny's penthouse really upset. She couldn't go home
yet. She was too upset to drive and Robin was there with Stone. She didn't
want her son to see his mother in this shape. He was still young but kids
sense things. 
'God, pull yourself together Brenda. I can't believe I let him do this to me
again.' she thought to herself.
She sat down on a bench in the park and tried to calm herself down. She was
shaking.

Won't you talk to me
This is so out of hand
Something's gone so wrong 
With the life that we planned 

Won't you look at me
You're avoiding my gaze
And it seems like you've changed
In so many ways

It isn't fair
It isn't right
If it's really gone
Then tell me tonight
If it's over
If it's over
Let me go

Won't you speak to me
I'm just here holding on
'Cause baby I really don't need to 
        wait around
If the feeling is gone

I don't need no apologies
I'm not looking for sympathy
All i'm asking for 
Is your honesty
Won't you give it to me
Give it to me now

It isn't fair
It just isn't right
'Cause if it's really gone
You've got to say the word tonight
If it's over 
If it's over
Baby, if it's over
Won't you let me know
Baby, if it's over
If it's over
Over-let me go

As she tried to collect her thoughts she heard someone walking through the
park towards her.
She felt her pulse quicken and her heart fill up with fear.
It was really late in the night and the sun was coming up. She didn't have a
watch or a good sense of time, that's why she was always late. This time she
didn't care. She just wanted the hurt to go away. She looked towards the noise
to see who it was.
"Ms. Barrett ? What are you doing here all alone ? Its late, you should be at
home."



Continued











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