Joint Venture

Summary: Doug and Carol discuss their past and look to their future.


The show ER, and all characters and situations borrowed from it, are property of Constant-C, NBC, Warner Brothers, etc. This fanfiction is for entertainment only, and no money is made from it. The story contains graphic scenes and words which may offend some readers, and as such, it is not appropriate for children under 18. This story is not to be archived or distributed without the permission of the author.

Stories in the series can be found in chronological order at:

http://members.tripod.com/~maraldo/jordan.html
http://www.oocities.org/TelevisionCity/Studio/5437/jordan.htm
http://members.tripod.com/~erfanfic/jordan.html
and at:
http://www.jsentertainment.com/gilbert/terffa/

Stories in the series:
A Clean Break; Retribution; Covenant; Tap-dance; Free Falling; Blink of an Eye; Vivisection; Keepsakes; In the Steam; Through the Night; Cornerstone; Domesticity; Caretaker; To CH; The Empty Space; Tenderhearted; Intoxicated; The Present; Summit; Expectations; Joint Venture

My thanks goes to my editors: Iman, who always makes me keep the suds low, and Elizabeth, whose fine-toothed comb makes the difference. Merry Christmas to you both.

***To my readers -- thanks for your encouragement! It really does matter. Feedback is always (!) asked for and appreciated!!***

This story is set after "Vanishing Act."

Joint Venture
by Jordan
jturner36@juno.com

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
There'll be no darkness tonight
Lady our love will shine
Just put your trust in my heart
And meet me in paradise
You're every wonder in this world to me
A treasure time won't steal away

So listen to my heart
Lay your body next to mine
Let me fill you with my dreams
I can make you feel so right
And baby through the years
Gonna love you more each day
So I promise you tonight
That you'll always be the lady in my life
- Michael Jackson
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

If you looked through the restaurant window, it would be difficult to tell at first if the couple was arguing or not. You would see intense, serious conversation with many pauses, punctuated by an impassioned gesture or two. If, however, you watched long enough, you'd see other, sweeter, gestures. The tilt of his head as he grinned at her dimples.  The way his hands surrounded hers. Her wry smile as she shared her dessert with him. How she patted his arm gently to make a point. Gestures that made it clear that the two people sitting at the table were happy.

It had been difficult for them lately to find any opportunity to be together. But at her insistence, he had come home early one afternoon and they decided to skip dinner and gorge themselves on some decadent dessert. In this way, they found some time for each other. Time to share private thoughts and wild dreams. To talk about their past and their future. They did just that at the Corner Bakery on State Street that evening, eating cheesecake and chocolate mousse, and drinking coffee. Two confidantes alone, even amongst the noise and the crowd.

"Man, this is delicious," she raved. "So, Doug, how are you going to keep up with the patient caseload?"

"Well," he said with his mouth full, "having Jeanie around really helps. She's great and I'm glad to have someone else around who can prescribe."

Carol nodded her head thoughtfully. "I can't help you there."

"No, I wouldn't expect it, either. You've got your clinic, charge nurse for the entire ER, you're too busy as it is. Give me one more bite of yours."

"Stop being so greedy!" she exclaimed, though she carefully gave him another taste on her fork. "I'm not so busy that I can't visit you every once in a while."

Doug grinned. "I'm counting on that. Here, have some of my cheesecake." He fed her, offering a generous mouthful. "Now, I was thinking of setting up separate forms for pediatrics, different than the E.R.'s."

"Mmm. Thanks." Carol held up a finger. "Hang on." She swallowed and continued, "Well, except then what if an emergent case comes in?" she reasoned. "Then we might miss something important because the paperwork is different. You know how it is, you know just where to look on the form for what you need. It's helpful when you're in a hurry."

"You're right. Well, I need some way to help them stand out so I can find them fast if I need to. I have another question for you: How does your clinic bill?"

"Same as the ER. Central accounting takes care of everything once you set up your accounts."

Doug looked at her blankly, scratching his chin. "Accounts?"

Carol grinned. "I'll show you, it's not hard."

"Carol, you're...thanks for your help. I'm glad I took off early, that...." He looked down at his coffee, then up again to her, smiling. "I just...love being with you."

"Yeah? How come?" she baited him.

He looked down and laughed. "I don't know, I just do."

"Maybe it's because I'm so good in bed," she offered as she licked her fork clean.

He concurred, "Well, you are the most wonderful lover."

"Ha! I'll bet you've said that to all your lovers," she teased.

Doug finished his coffee and looked at her thoughtfully. "I've never said anything like that to another woman. Ever."

Carol studied his face, touched at his words. "Really?" she asked quietly.

"Really. In fact, I've gotten myself into trouble more than once because of your lovemaking."

"In trouble? How?"

He chuckled. "Well, let's just say that my mind wasn't where it was supposed to be at some...uh, critical times...and I got called on it.  Ready?" Doug stood up.

"Hang on. Let's go back up to the counter and get some cinnamon bread for tomorrow morning."

They paid for their bread and he walked toward the door. Carol followed, and as soon as they got outside, she held him back a moment.

"Wait," she said in a hushed voice. "Explain, please. About getting in trouble because of me."

"Well, you know...." Doug paused and ducked his head slightly. "Carol, this is embarrassing." He took her hand and walked to the car.

"C'mon, confession time!" she demanded.

"Okay," he began, stopping briefly to lean in closely, his face just touching her hair. "I used to...fantasize."

"About what?"

"Not what, who."

"About who, then?

Doug spoke quietly, causing her to move even closer to hear him. "I used to fantasize sometimes...imagine, that I was making love to you when I was...with other women."

Carol was tickled. "You're kidding."

"No," he admitted. He unlocked the car and they got in. They sat there, talking.

"Well...." Carol countered.

"What?"

"Me, too," she laughed.

"You thought about me when you were with other women?" he deadpanned.

Carol playfully slugged his arm. "Ugh, Doug!"

He grinned back. "It's nice to know I wasn't alone...."

"Well, I did." Carol became serious. "Doug -- does it bother you? I mean, thinking about -- you know -- the other men?"

"It did when I wasn't with you. I'd think about it. It wasn't a very pleasant thing to do." Doug paused, searching for the right words. "You know, it bothered me most of all the day you were supposed to get married. I remember, afterward...walking into that church, seeing you there in your wedding dress." Doug looked up with a wistful smile on his face. "You were...so beautiful that day, really, and when I sat down I could scarcely even...look at you. I was holding my breath, I didn't know what to say. I wasn't really over you...even though I kept trying to convince myself that I was. But, what really got to me...that day...was when you asked me to...." He exhaled. "What really got me was standing in front of you, taking off your veil."

Carol looked at him, hearing this for the first time, surprised at what mattered to him, what touched him then, and what he chose to recall.  "You were so careful, I remember, but it seemed like you were standing so far away."

"Well, I kept my distance because what I really wanted to do was hold you. Kiss you."

She shook her head. "I never knew that, Doug. I mean, I kind of knew, but not really."

"Yeah," he responded absent-mindedly.

"But you didn't ask me out, then."

"Well, no. I was afraid to."

"Really? Why?"

"I couldn't take 'no' for an answer, not then. I knew, even then, you wouldn't have me. Not the way I was. I was...I was still...unreliable, dishonest."

"You're right," she admitted. "I wouldn't have let you back into my life then."

"And I knew," he continued, "or, I thought, that you needed time after all that with Tag. I figured you wouldn't be interested in anyone for a long time, I thought you'd just be there, that after a while I'd just slide right back in. But I waited too long."

Carol smiled. "And then, Shep...."

"Um hm. Thing was, he was an okay guy. I couldn't really hate him."

Carol laughed. "But you hated Tag?"

"Oh, yeah." Doug laughed as well, thinking of those days. "But not Shep."

"Shep was sweet. He was good for me, for a while, anyway," she agreed.

Doug's voice was intimate and quiet. "Did you love him?"

Carol looked away and smiled slightly. "Yeah, I did. But I wasn't 'in love' with him, if you know what I mean."

"I think I do." Doug took her hand and gazed out the car window. "You know Carol, the thing was, even then, when we weren't together, I always felt that you...." Doug looked at her with warmth in his eyes. "Carol, you've always belonged to me. You just didn't always know it."

His words touched her heart, and she answered with a voice that was so quiet, yet so assured. "I think deep-down, I knew. I always knew. I know now."

"Do you?"

"Yes. I do. This is all so unbelievable, so incredible. It's what I've wanted for a long time. You're what I've wanted my whole life."

Doug's demeanor changed, and she picked up on it immediately. She'd shy away from him in the past, worried that he'd tell her things she wasn't ready to hear. But now, she listened intently, never afraid of what he might say.

"Carol...I was thinking," he started.

"What?"

"Well, ever since our...since we thought you might be pregnant...a few weeks ago, I've just been thinking."

"About what?"

"About us."

"What about us, Doug?" Her face was so open to him, so calm and serene. He loved looking at her, especially when she looked back at him like this.

"Why are we waiting?"

"Waiting for...?"

"Waiting for everything," he answered.

"I don't remember why."

"Carol...do you remember, years ago, when we treated that old couple, the ones that had carbon monoxide poisoning?"

"No, I don't."

"You don't?" he asked. "Remember, he was a baker, he baked a...a cake   every year on their anniversary?"

"I don't," Carol reiterated, shaking her head. "Why?"

"Well, they were married like, I don't know, almost 50 years. I told you then that I thought they'd been lucky every day."

"You remember the strangest things," she chided him.

Doug shifted in his seat, moving closer to her, brushing a stray curl away from her face. "Carol, that's how I feel. We haven't talked about it...you know...lately, but I'm ready. Ready to make a commitment to you, a lasting commitment. I don't want to wait -- for anything -- anymore."

"Hearing it like that makes it seem...I don't know, it seems so right." Carol leaned over and kissed him.

"You know what I'd really like, Carol?"

She looked at him attentively.

Doug continued. "I'd like to buy you a ring...."

"But Doug," she interrupted, shaking her head, "I don't need one. I already had one, before, it's just not important to me."

"It's important to me," he asserted quietly. Carol nodded. She'd never really thought about it from his perspective before, but of course it might be important to him. He'd never done this before.

"Okay. Okay, then."

Doug looked at her to see if she was serious. "Now?"

"Sure," she nodded, grinning. "Now."

Doug started the car and they drove in silence. He was slightly amazed that she'd agreed to this, although it had been months since they'd discussed it last. He pulled up in front of the same jewelry store he'd been to before, where he'd bought her Christmas present last year, and where he'd bought the wedding rings that were now stashed in his armoire.

They walked in and he guided her over to the counter. The salesman came quickly. "Good evening, can I help you?"

"Hi, we're here to look at some rings. I'll let you know when we're ready." Doug turned his attention to Carol. "Take a look, see what you like. Take your time."

"Doug, I have no idea."

"Just look around."

"I don't want to get anything too expensive...." she began.

"Carol."

She looked up at him, his tone of voice surprised her. "What?"

"Get what you like."

Carol smiled and gazed at the rings in the case under the glass. There were so many, she had trouble at first, but as she spent more time looking, her eye came back to one ring again and again. It wasn't a big stone, but it was beautiful. "Can I see this one, please?"

The salesman came over and opened the cabinet. "This is a beautiful ring," he offered.

He placed it on the black velvet and Carol looked at it, but did not move. Doug picked it up, watching its sparkle.

"How much is..." Carol started to ask.

"Don't answer that," Doug interrupted. "Let's see how this looks." He put it on her finger, but it only went up half-way.

"It's beautiful." Carol moved her hand back and forth, catching the light.

"Do you want this one?"

"Well, if you really want to buy me a ring...."

"I really do," he assured her.

"Then yes," she answered quietly, "this is the one I like the best."

"You're sure?" he asked.

"Yes. I'm sure." She took a deep breath and took it off her finger, handing it back to him. "I love it."

"Fine. We'll take this one. Can we have it re-sized?"

"Yes, absolutely." He took the ring from Doug's hand and placed it back on the black velvet cushion.

Doug smiled at Carol and she smiled back. "It's really beautiful, Doug."

"I'm glad you found something you like."

The salesman checked Carol's ring size and then brought the ring and an envelope to the register.

"Uh, Carol?" Doug said. "Do you have your keys?"

"No, why?"

"Take mine. Wait in the car, okay?"

"Okay," she smiled, shaking her head. He wasn't going to let her know how much it cost. Carol walked out and Doug turned to the salesman.

"When can this be ready?"

"I can have this sized and ready tomorrow afternoon, if you need it then."

"Yeah, that'll be great." Doug took his wallet out and handed the man his credit card. The salesman took down their names, address, and phone number, but Doug warned him, "Don't call her. I'll come pick it up myself."

When he was finished, Doug went outside and stepped into the car.

Carol reached over and squeezed his leg gently. "Doug, thank you, I love the ring."

"Me, too," he smiled.

"When will it be ready?"

"You know, I'm not sure. He'll call," Doug replied as he backed out of the parking space.

*****

The following day, Carol woke up at 7 a.m., but Doug was already gone.  She had the day off and planned to rake the leaves out back and plant some bulbs. Doug had another long day, she knew, and she was sure he wouldn't be home before 10 again. She called him at work once, but Randi said he was in a meeting with Anspaugh and then had to go see a patient in the pediatric ward. Carol sighed. It had been like this for weeks, and she knew it wasn't going to get better anytime soon.

"Randi, just leave him a message, ask if I should hold dinner for him.  Call me back if he can't, please. Call me back."

"Sure, Carol. Bye."

Carol hadn't heard from Doug or Randi by 5 and called again.

"Randi? It's Carol. Is Doug there?"

"No," she answered impatiently. "He said he had an errand to run, that he'd be back soon. Oh, yeah, don't hold dinner, he'll grab something on the way home."

Carol was miffed. "Why didn't you call to tell me?"

"I'm not his secretary, Carol," Randi sniped back.

"Okay, okay, thanks." Carol shook her head and hung up the phone.

Carol heated up some leftovers and carried them into the living room.  She turned on the news and ate, then brought her dishes back to the sink. She looked around aimlessly and realized how lifeless the house felt when he wasn't around.

She washed the few dishes and dried them. Everything was neat and in its place and she really had nothing else to do. Walking back into the living room, she turned off the television and picked up a book and started to read.

The doorbell startled her. She looked up and saw it was a little before 9 p.m. Carol opened the inner door and stepped into the vestibule. She peered through the curtain and saw Doug standing there.

"Hi," she said as she opened the door. "Did you forget your key?"

"No," he smiled. "Come on out for a minute, it's a nice night."

Carol stepped outside and kissed his cheek. "Rough day?"

"Nah, not too bad." Doug fingered the ring in his pocket. "How was your day?"

"Good. I got lots of stuff done around here." She started talking louder to be heard over the coming train.

"I can see, all those leaves," he shouted, nodding toward the pile on the curb.

"Did you get a lot done today?"

"Yeah, pretty much." Doug looked up at the El track, waiting for the train to pass.

Carol crossed her arms and shivered. "I'm a little chilly, can we go inside?"

"Yeah. Um, wait." He had rehearsed everything in the car, but now, with her standing here, nothing he thought to say seemed adequate.

She didn't know what was on his mind and gave him a questioning look.
He was fidgeting with something in his pocket and seemed nervous.  Finally, Doug reached out to her and stroked her cheek.

"Carol, I know I'm not the only man who's ever fallen in love with you...and I know that I'm not the first man to put a ring on your finger...." Doug took her left hand in his and stroked it lightly.

At once Carol realized what he was going to do, and she was flooded with emotion. "Oh, Doug...." She put her other hand to her mouth and started to cry.

"Carol...." Doug was touched. "Don't cry. C'mere." He took her in his arms and held her, rocking her gently, trying to relax her. He backed away so he could see her face. "I just want to say that I love you. And I will love you more than any man has ever loved you." Doug slipped the ring on her finger and Carol looked down at it, smiling through her tears. Reaching up, she put her arms around his neck and kissed him.

"I love you, too, Doug. Thank you. This is so beautiful. Thank you."

Doug held her gently and kissed her cheek, tasting her salty tears on his lips. "It's my pleasure, Carol." He held her as long as she let him, but she started shaking again. "You're cold, let's go in the house."

They walked inside and Carol went to the bathroom to get a tissue. When she came out, he headed to the bedroom.

"You tired?" she asked him.

"Very. I'm going to bed." His eyes twinkled. "You coming?"

"I'll be in soon. I'm gonna lock up first." She smiled at him again as he walked into the bedroom. When he turned around, he saw her looking at the ring under the light before she turned it off.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Lay back in my tenderness
Let's make this a night we won't forget
Girl, I need your sweet caress
Reach out to a fantasy
Two hearts in the beat of ecstasy
Come to me
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Carol thought Doug was asleep, so she tried not to jostle him when she came to bed. But he opened his eyes, and moved closer to her, pulling his pillow with him. He reached over to stroke her back in a lazy, half-hearted sort of way. "I waited up for you, Carol."

Carol turned to him and kissed his cheek. "You did, did you?"

"Yes, I did. I'm glad we went out last night. I feel like I haven't seen you in days."

"That's because you're so busy with your new job. Things will settle down soon. "

"I guess so," he answered, though he was unconvinced. "Let me see that ring again." She lifted up her hand and he looked at it in the dim light. "I like this, seeing this on you."

"Hey, Doug? Why'd you give me the ring on the porch? You could have come inside, you know."

Doug grinned. "The porch has always been lucky for me, Carol." His hand roamed, stroking up her thigh, to her hip, her stomach, coming to rest on the soft underside of her breast.

"Umm...." she purred. "Don't stop that."

"You like that? Right here?" He moved up to make a gentle circle around her nipple. "It gets hard so fast."

"Yes, it does." She pressed against him, feeling his own hardness, then stopped abruptly. "Wait," she said, "I'll be right back." Carol moved to get out of bed, but Doug held her to him. She turned to look at him. "What's wrong?"

He smiled shyly. "Nothing. Stay here."

"I'm only going to the bathroom, I'm going to get my diaphragm."

His eyes searched hers, seeking in them the same longing that existed in his heart.

"Stay."

It took several moments for the full impact of his intent to register with her. As it did, it rendered her speechless. Doug looked away. He wondered if he'd misread her.

It was Carol, first, who found her voice, who ventured forth so quietly, so full of wonder. "What are you saying?"

As had happened before during so many important, crucial times in his life, words failed him. He found himself drawn to his old pattern of using his lovemaking to say what he could not. And, as before, it was his lips, his arms, and his body that would lead him, that would communicate for him. It was a tactic so foreign to him now it surprised him that it had emerged again. This time, though, was so different. It was happening with guileless intent.

Doug stroked her hair and looked into her eyes again with intense passion. What she heard from them was so clear, so profound, that she knew his heart's desire. She knew, too, that it mirrored her own.

His mouth found hers and his kisses were soft. "I'm saying that I'm in love with you," he managed to murmur, though he didn't give her a chance to respond as his tongue searched for hers tentatively, gently. He held her fast. The significance of this night in their lives began to overwhelm him in a most wonderful way. It was, to him, the culmination of the commitment he had once railed against so fiercely, that he wanted so desperately now, with her.

He relinquished control once he felt her kissing him, his neck. When her hands reached down and stroked him softly, he pushed his hardness into them, wanting nothing more than the warmth of her touch. Her body responded to him and in her arousal, she wanted to please him as he pleased her. When his mouth finally surrounded the stiff, rose-colored buds on her breasts, sucking their ripeness, she closed her eyes and guided him to her, pulling him closer.

They floated, their well-choreographed movements following one after the other. His desire, hers, looking to meet, to meld quietly, so naturally. Effortlessly. Tenderly nudging her legs apart, Doug sought her warmth, the essence of her womanliness. He found it and gently pressed against it, feeling only brief resistance, then inward to the soft, welcoming core that he craved.

"Let me," he whispered against her cheek.

He thrust into her deeply, recklessly. Wanting to come before she could stop him, knowing she would never stop him. Her arms, inviting him in, reached all the way down, pulled him deeper, telling him it was where he belonged. Hearing her sigh beneath him, he looked and saw her gaze fixed upon him already, her smile saying she understood. It was giving him the courage he lacked. Asking him to ask. Please, it said, ask so I can have the pleasure of answering you.

Looking down at her, seeing her hair strewn around her, he smiled. "Can we try to make a baby tonight, Carol?"

Delight rose in her eyes, in her face. Her smile broadened as she, in deference to him, answered in his language, as she began to move underneath him, unfettered, unencumbered. Urging him on, feeling his climax as it filled her, setting this wondrous adventure in motion.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
And I will keep you warm
Through the shadows of the night
Let me touch you with my love
I can make you feel so right
And baby through the years
Even when we're old and gray
I will love you more each day
'Cause you'll always be the lady in my life
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The end