Lucky, Part 2

Please see part one for disclaimer and content warning.

Lucky, Part 2


by Elizabeth
Eliz1296@aol.com

The Fire Escape

Doug hung up his stethoscope in his locker and put on his jacket, almost sorry that his shift was over. The ER hadn't been too busy today and the patients he'd seen all had minor injuries and illnesses that he'd been able to treat easily and efficiently.

Grateful parents, happy kids, everybody going away in a good mood.  Days like this made Doug realize how much he loved his job.

And he'd had some fun kidding with his co-workers, all of whom seemed to be in rare form. Carol was off, meaning that he didn't have to face the awkwardness he still felt around her.

Doug walked through the parking lot, thinking casually about where he would go for dinner. Grab some take-out and then hang out at the Marine Room, shoot some pool? Or stop by a restaurant? He couldn't decide how hungry he was, though he knew he wouldn't be visiting Cathy's place. That evening had not ended well. He'd been too drunk ... she'd gone home in a cab - quiet, disappointed ... he put the thought out of his mind quickly, rolling up his window to keep out the blast of cold air that hit when he drove out of the parking lot.

Doug started thinking of Carol for some reason he couldn't quite understand.  He was over her. He'd gone back to his old ways, pursuing women and then discarding them when they bored him or got too clingy. Not taking them - or life in general - very seriously.

And Carol was happier too, he thought, dating the orthopedics guy, Taglieri.  Helen Hathaway must be overjoyed about that.

Yes, Carol was definitely better off with Taglieri. Doug had known Tag had his eye on Carol for a long time, had seen him hanging around the ER watching her, always wondering why the guy didn't just made a move if he wanted her. The coward, Doug thought, just biding his time, waiting for me to screw up.

And now ...

Doug breathed in, the freezing air stinging his lungs, and wished it was closer to spring, when the air would warm up and summer would be just around the corner.

Suddenly he was engulfed in memories of last summer, days off he'd shared with Carol and the impossibly hot, sticky nights they'd spent at her apartment.

They would stand under the cold water of the running shower until they were drenched and at least a little bit cooler, then wrap themselves, still dripping, in her sheets and crawl out the window onto a mattress on the fire escape to make love furtively in the darkness.

One night in particular came back to him vividly.

"Shhhh," she'd warned him, covering his mouth as he stretched out on the mattress, making room for her. "I don't want the neighbors to hear us out here."

"Don't worry, I'll be sooo quiet no one will even know I'm here," Doug said conspiratorially, grinning and pulling her closer to him, trying to unwind her sheet without making any commotion.

"OW!" she yelled suddenly. He realized, too late, that his fingers had become tangled in her wet hair and he was yanking on it.

"Sorry," he whispered, kissing her head while he untangled her tightly coiled, damp curls. "I thought we were supposed to be quiet." He smiled and continued to slowly unwind the sheet, being careful this time not to catch her hair.

"I'm trying," she whispered back, grinning a little. "You're not making it easy, you know?"

Of course, by the time they'd gotten naked and under the sheets, they were already hot again. But by then, the discomfort had vanished in the face of unbridled lust. They touched and kissed, rolling frantically around on the damp mattress.

Doug pulled up to a red light, remembering. When he entered her, Carol had to stifle a moan. And when she came...

Doug chuckled to himself. The little sexpot. Wonder just what the neighbors *did* hear on those nights?

Carol was so eager for sex with him, even in that heat. She must really have been in love with him.

Doug thought about it a minute, smiling to himself. In love with him. Yes, she had been. And for a very long time. He knew her so well, he had known all along that she had given him her heart. It shouldn't have surprised him when she told him, that night after he got punched out in the Marine Room.

Up until now, he realized he just hadn't wanted to acknowledge it. He'd been afraid to deal with it.

But now he thought about it again. A woman like Carol, in love with him. Why?  She was so smart, so capable, so beautiful. Why would she waste her time on him? Making him dinner on his birthday, yielding her body to him, being there for him when he needed her. He could always count on her.

Yes, he'd been lucky. Damn lucky to have someone like her.

But not anymore, he realized with a jolt that hit him in the pit of his stomach. You blew it, buddy. She's not there for you anymore.  She's with Taglieri now.

Was she in love with Tag - or did she still feel something for him? She'd been so distant for so long, closed off to him, that Doug couldn't read her anymore. He couldn't tell whether she would let him in or slam the door if he went to her right now.

Doug had been driving for some time, not really paying attention to where he was going. Now he realized he wasn't far from Carol's neighborhood. Why not give it a try?

He was feeling good tonight - it had been a good day. Maybe he'd get lucky and Carol would let him come in.
____________________________

The Visit

Carol looked up sharply when she heard the knock at her door.  She'd been so lost in her thoughts about Doug's birthday that she hadn't realized the room had gotten dark while she was sitting on her couch.

This was why she should move in with Tag, she thought. If nothing else, at least she would escape this place - so saturated with memories of Doug that all she had to do was look around her and she'd be thinking about him again.

The knocking started again, softly and tentatively this time. It was 9:30 p.m.  Was it Tag, back to talk to her about moving in with him again? Why couldn't he just give her some time?

Or maybe her mother, dropping by to talk about how wonderful Tag was for the third time this week.

She waited in the dark until the knocking stopped, sitting still, determined not to answer it. Soon, it was obvious that whoever was at her door had gone away.

Then it came to her, overwhelmingly: Doug. It was Doug.

Carol got up, pulled on a robe and rushed to open her door and run down the hallway. She got to the entrance of her apartment building just in time to see him reaching for the door.

"Doug!" Carol didn't know what she was doing, running after him like this. But on this night, when she had to decide whether or not to move in with Tag, Doug wanted to see her. And she had to find out why.

Doug turned around, surprised, and saw Carol running to catch up with him. She was breathing hard, her lips parted, cheeks flushed, hair hanging loose, and she was wearing a long T-shirt under a short, red-and-black plaid robe that was hanging open. Nothing was underneath it but her body, Doug knew. He thought he had never seen her looking more beautiful.

"Carol? I knocked... I didn't think you were home." Doug stood in the doorway, suddenly feeling awkward, not knowing why he'd come here or where to take this.

She felt his gaze sweep over her, appraising her boldly as he always did, and she blushed and pulled the robe around herself tightly.

"I'm sorry. I was ... I didn't hear the door at first," she lied, her heart pounding and her mind racing. It had been months since he'd come to her apartment. And it was so early in the evening, he was obviously not drunk...

"What do you want, Doug?"

"I ... I don't know really. Just to see you, I guess. I was, I was driving and I got to thinking about you ... about us. I just wanted to see you," he said quietly, closing the door and walking towards her.

Carol felt herself backing down the hallway, her defenses going up. She hadn't come this far away from him and gotten involved with Tag just to let him into her life all over again this easily.

"You haven't been interested in seeing me in quite a while, Doug. You haven't called, haven't asked how I'm doing. Why tonight? What's this about?"

Doug looked down. She was right. He shouldn't have come here - he had no place in her life anymore. Still...

"I *have* wondered about you Carol. Things just ... things just got so screwed up between us that I ... I didn't think you wanted to see me anymore." He was mumbling now, afraid to meet her gaze. But he forced himself to continue. "I've thought about you. I was just thinking about you tonight.  About last summer .... how we used to get in the shower and go out on your fire escape when it was really hot. Remember?" His voice trailed off and he looked up at her suddenly, his eyes full of something Carol couldn't read.

His gaze hit her with a force that felt almost physical. She stared at him, knowing she shouldn't encourage him, knowing that if he got close to her, or touched her, she would be lost. He still held that much power over her.

"Yeah, I remember. I was thinking about you tonight, too," she said quietly.   She didn't dare elaborate.

He walked closer. She was breathing hard, her robe had fallen open again and he could see the outline of her breasts under the soft cotton T-shirt. She still wanted him, he realized, sensing his advantage and feeling confident that if he took her into his arms they would make love again tonight. And suddenly he wanted that - he wanted it badly.

Carol pressed her body against the wall, feeling very vulnerable, not wanting him to get close enough to feel the heat of her - and yet wanting it desperately at the same time.

"I've missed you, Carol," he said, looking through her as if he could see her soul and hear her thoughts.

Suddenly, the front door opened and Mrs. Garbowski, the building manager, bustled in carrying two bags of groceries.

"Oh, good evening Carol," she said, looking sharply over at Carol and taking in the look on her face, the open robe, and Doug in one disapproving glance.  She was not sure exactly what was happening here but she could see enough to know she didn't want it going on in the front hallway. She swept past, jangling her keys and heading towards her apartment.

Carol stiffened, the intrusion bringing her back to reality suddenly, helping to clear her head.

She wasn't going to let this happen again. She'd opened her door - and her bed - to Doug too many nights in the past and she'd ended up alone. He couldn't do this to her again. She'd grown up, matured, since she'd been dating Tag and she wasn't going to go backwards - soulful brown eyes or no.

"I'm seeing someone, Doug. Things are different now," she said, meeting his gaze boldly and straightening up. She wanted him, but she could not let him take advantage of her again.

Doug stopped moving closer, seeing the change in her. "Taglieri. I know. He always had a thing for you, even back when ..." he sighed, not
finishing his thought.

"Are you happy, Carol?"

"Yes, I am - we are. We're very happy. He treats me wonderfully.  We're friends," she said.

"Are you ...?" he left the question unspoken.

"You don't have the right to ask that, Doug," she snapped.

"Are you sleeping with him? Does he ... do things to you like I did? Does he make you happy?"

Carol felt herself getting angry.

"How dare you! How many times did you sleep around on me when we were going out, Doug? You lied to me and treated me like crap while you screwed every slut at that hospital." She was livid now, and just getting started.

"Well, I have news for you. I *never* cheated on you! I waited for you and I wanted you and I put up with you and I took you back." Her voice was rising now and she caught sight of Mrs. Garbowski's apartment door down the hall, open a crack.

Carol took a deep breath, knowing it was too dangerous to take him into her apartment, knowing they had to finish this here. She lowered her voice to an urgent whisper. "Everyone told me how stupid I was, how you were using me, and I refused to believe it. Well, we're not together anymore Doug, and who I sleep with is none of your business!"

Doug continued to look at her quietly, loving it when her eyes flashed and her face flushed like this. "You didn't answer my question, Carol. Does he make you happy? You said you loved me once. Do you still love me, Carol?"

Now Carol was confused, shocked. Doug here, sober, and asking if she loved him. And just when she was ready to get serious with Tag.

Her eyes filled with tears. "Why Doug? Why do you care? Why are you doing this to me now? Tag wants me to move in with him. He loves me. Doug, I can't be with you anymore. It hurts too much."

The tears spilled over onto her cheeks. Doug reached up to brush them away, but she turned her head.

"Go away, Doug. It's over. What we had was ... it was great, but it's over. I can't do this anymore."

And with that, she turned and fled, literally, down the hall to her apartment, jerking open the door and slamming it behind her.
____________________________

Decisions

Carol threw herself on the couch and sobbed, half expecting to hear Doug pounding on the door behind her at any moment, and not sure what she would do if he did.

But the minutes passed and her apartment was quiet, save for the sound of her crying.

The bastard. He always knew how to get to her. And what timing - god. Tonight of all nights.

Carol stopped crying gradually and pulled herself together. She liked Tag a lot, she knew, and she thought could learn to love him.

One thing was for certain: She couldn't take any more emotional scenes with Doug. It was all becoming too much for her to deal with, the ups and downs.  The high she felt when Doug wanted her, on nights like tonight, when his desire for her was so plainly obvious she could see it in his face.

And the lows - emotional pits that she felt too tired to keep climbing out of.  When he left her without a word, when he had sex with other women and she knew it - she knew the minute she laid eyes on him that he'd been with someone else. When she tortured herself asking why he wasn't satisfied with her - why he didn't love her.

She sighed. No more. She needed stability right now - security, safety. She needed Tag.

Carol stood up slowly and went to her bedroom, pulling a suitcase from her closet and starting to put her clothes into it, folding and packing methodically.

Doug was the love of her life, she knew it with a certainty that could not be shaken. There would not be another man, another lover, who would touch her like Doug did. Touch her body and her soul like he did.

She would never be able to forget him. And even if she learned to love Tag - or some other man - and got married and had children and grew older, some part of her heart would always belong to Doug. There was no escaping him - but she knew she had to try.

THE END