ER: Doug and Carol Series

Story #42 continued

Lost In Love

By: Courtney

"Where are we going?" Carol asks for what must be the hundredth time today. Doug is navigating his way through the swarm of car on the streets. He doesn't reply, just simply grins a grin that tells Carol to give up. He's not going to crack. She'll just have to be surprised.

Doug finally pulls the car to the curb and Carol glances around curiously. "We're here," he announces.

"And where exactly would 'here' be?" she questions.

"Just trust me," he says and gets out to walk around and open her door. He takes her hand and, smiling, leads her into a weathered looking old building in front of them.

"What is this, an apartment building?" Carol asks as they make their way inside.

"Yep," he replies.

"Do you know someone who lives here?" she asks.

"Nope," he says.

"Come on Doug, give me something."

"You'll see very soon. Just hold your horses," he grins.

Carol sighs and continues with him into the elevator. The doors finally open and he leads her to a stairwell that leads them to a large door. She looks at him expectantly and Doug grins.

"Close your eyes," he instructs.

"Doug . . ."

"Close your eyes," he repeats, still wearing that maddening grin.

"Okay," she concedes. "Fine, you win. They're closed."

"Okay, this way," he says as he opens the door and leads her out.

Carol feels the wind in her hair and the sun on her face and knows they are outside. She can hear the cars on the street below them. "What's going on, Doug? Where are we?" she asks.

"Okay, open them," he says in answer. She does and, looking around her, she sees they are on the roof of the apartment building.

"So, you brought me to the roof," she says.

"Yeah, but not just any roof. Take a look," he leads her to one side and points out across the street. Carol looks and sees what he's pointing at: Wrigley Field.

"You brought me up here to see a Cubs' game?" she asks.

"Well . . . yeah. I thought . . . I mean, you like baseball . . . I just figured . . . Oh, I should have known this was a dumb idea. I should have just made dinner reservations and taken you out somewhere. I just wanted to do something different, something really romantic, and . . ."

"Doug," she says. He continues to babble. "Doug . . ." she places her finger on his lips to quiet him. "It's wonderful, you're wonderful." He smiles, glad to see she isn't disappointed. "But, why not just go to the game? We'd have a better view if we were in the stadium wouldn't we?"

Doug smiles slyly, letting Carol know there is more to this adventure than just seeing a ballgame without buying tickets. "That's the best part," he says and leads her over to a nearby corner of the roof that was out of her view before.

Carol smiles when she sees what he's been hiding. There, on the floor of the roof, is a blanket spread out and a cooler as well as a large paper sack. Doug leads her over and sits her on the blanket as he takes things out of the sack. He's brought candles, plates, a CD player, as well as a cooler full of food. He serves the cold fried chicken and potato salad, then turns to retrieve two long stemmed wineglasses. "Here you go," he says as he hands one to Carol. Taking out a bottle from the cooler, Doug starts to open it.

"Doug, I can't drink that," she reminds him.

"Sure you can," he says. "Did you think I'd forget something as important as that?" he holds up the bottle so she can read the label: sparkling grape juice. Carol grins and holds up her glass for him to fill it.

Doug puts on a CD of slow jazz music and they light the candles and start eating. By the time they have finished the chicken, the light is fading and the game is in full swing. "This is so romantic," Carol says as she leans against him and sips her grape juice. "I love you, did you know that?"

"I kind of suspected it," he replies and pulls his arms a little tighter around her body.

They hear the crack of a bat and the cheering of the crowd. From their seats on the blanket they can't see the game, they can only hear it. "Aren't you sorry you don't have a better view? The Cubbies are actually winning one," she comments.

"Are you kidding?" Doug replies. "I have the best seat in the house."

"Oh yeah? Why is that?" she asks with a grin.

"Because they'd never let us get away with this inside the park," he says and takes the glass from her hand to set it aside. He starts kissing her neck and she lays back so that they are both lying on the blanket. "I love you so much, Carol. I don't ever want you to question that, not for a second," he says as he looks down into her face and softly brushes his hand over her cheek.

She smiles and tears fill her eyes. "I love you, too. And I'd never have to wonder how you feel about me. You show me in a thousand different ways every day of my life." A single tear traces its way down the side of her face and Doug kisses it away. Then, she cups his face in her hands, bringing his mouth to hers. Their kisses grow deeper as the sun sinks further in the sky. The wind blows out the candles but neither of them notice. They are too caught up in one another to take notice of anything else going on around them.

"Well, here we are," Carter says as he and Charlie walk through the front door of her house. "Are you hungry? Or thirsty? I could go pick you up some lunch. Or I could cook something. I'm a pretty good cook you know."

Charlie smiles. "Yeah, I know. Remember that time you made pasta for Maggie and I? The kitchen was a disaster but the food was great," she laughs. "I miss Maggie. I hardly ever see her anymore. Do you?"

"See Maggie? Yeah, I see her. But mostly just at work. We hardly ever hang out like we used to. I miss that, too. I miss going out with you two. It was a lot of fun when we used to be such good friends."

"What happened? Why'd we stop?" Charlie asks.

"Well . . . I guess we just all found other people. You found Josh, I found Anna . . . and I hear Maggie has a girlfriend but I've never met her. I guess sooner or later all friends just drift apart," he says. There is a sadness in his voice that Charlie recognizes. It's a sadness she hears in her own voice from time to time. Like when she thinks about how little she sees he and Maggie, or when she used to think about Bax before he came to Chicago, or when she thinks about the possibility of losing Josh when she tells him the truth . . .

"I don't want that to be us," she says suddenly. A feeling, almost a panic, comes over her and she needs to know that she'll always have John as her friend. "No one knows me like you do, no one understands everything about me as well as you . . . I need for us to stay friends."

Carter smiles. "I'm glad to hear that. I hope we'll be friends forever. You're important to me. It's weird, we're so different on the surface, our age, our background . . . but deep down I think the two of us know each other so well. I feel like I could tell you anything, you know?"

"Yeah," Charlie smiles, "I feel the same way."

"Good," Carter puts his arm around her shoulders and they walk together into the living room. "Okay, now that that's settled, let's talk about what's been bugging you." He sits her down on the couch and he takes a seat beside her. "You need to tell Josh," he says.

"I can't," she says as she shakes her head vigorously.

"Yes, you can and you need to," he tells her.

"I thought you said it didn't matter, that if he loved me it wouldn't make a difference. So why do I need to tell him all of the sudden?"

"Because, it's important to you that he knows. It's important that he understand everything about you in order to know who you really are. I think that's what's causing these dreams, Charlie. It's you, not Josh. You're the one worried that your past changes who you are. Give Josh some credit, let him make up his own mind before you make it up for him," Carter finishes. He keeps looking at her, seeing who she really is. She's vulnerable in front of him. He knows her, knows her weaknesses and knows her secrets and he never takes advantage of either one. She can trust him. It's one of the most important things about their friendship. It's probably what she cherishes most.

"I need to think about it," she finally says. She's close to crying and Carter tries to comfort her. As he hugs her, she feels safe. She feels like maybe the things he says are true. Maybe Josh will understand and she can finally trust his feelings for her. She only hopes she can keep this confidence long enough to break her news.

It's dark and the Cubs' game is almost over by the time Doug and Carol start packing up their picnic. "You know, Doug, I don't think the tenants of this building would be too happy to know that we just made love on their roof in broad daylight," Carol says.

"It's dark out already," Doug replies.

"You know what I mean," she laughs. "Wasn't this a little risky?"

"Risk is what makes it fun," he says with an evil grin.

"You're awful!" she laughs and playfully punches his arm.

"Really, Carol, you didn't have a *great* time up here today?"

"Well . . ." she says. Doug raises his eyebrows and looks at her imploringly. "Okay, okay, it was pretty great," she admits.

"Okay then," Doug says as he packs away the glasses and plates. "Actually, I have a confession. This wasn't as risky as you think. I know the maintenance guy. He cleared it for us to come up here and said he'd keep everyone off the roof for the night."

Carol starts to giggle at this. "So, you're not as much of a daredevil as you'd have me believe, huh doctor?"

"Hey, it was still romantic," Doug says in his own defense.

"Oh, I know honey," she says as she puts her arms around his neck. "I loved this whole day. It was the most unexpected and wonderful day I could imagine." She kisses Doug gently and says, "You know what I'd love to do?"

"What?" he asks.

"Dance," she says. He gives her a strange look and she continues, "Think about it. What could be more romantic than slow dancing on a roof by candlelight under a million stars?"

"Anything your heart desires," Doug responds and reaches down to turn on the radio. A song by James Taylor is playing and Doug holds Carol close as they move together. The baseball game comes to an end and the post game fireworks start overhead as the candles continue to flicker below.

Doug holds Carol tight and listens to the lyrics as the song plays on:

"There's something in the way she moves,

Or looks my way or calls my name,

That seems to leave this troubled world behind.

If I'm feeling down and blue,

Or troubled by some foolish game,

She's always there to make me change my mind.

And I feel fine anytime that she's around me now,

And she's around me now,

Almost all the time.

And if I'm well you can tell that she's been with me now,

And she's been with me now,

Quite a long, long time and I feel fine . . ."

Susan is humming to herself as she makes up her bed with fresh sheets. It's been so long since she's slept in this bed. She missed it, even the lumpy mattress. She smiles as she puts clean, crisp pillow cases on the pillows and lays them back down on the bed. She can't remember the last time she was so happy. Suddenly, the doorbell sounds and pulls her from her train of thought.

'Maybe that's Ben,' she thinks hopefully as she starts out of the bedroom towards the door. She's been hoping since he left that she'd find his wallet or his house keys lying around somewhere. Anything that would give him an excuse to come back . . .

Susan opens the door with a smile, fully expecting to see Ben Hendrix on the other side. Her guest, however, is far from whom she had expected. In fact, it's the last person she had expected to see tonight. "M-mark . . ." she stammers. "I, uh . . . what are you doing here?"

Mark Greene stands in the doorway wearing a nervous smile and looking as though he had debated about coming here. "Um, hi Susan," he says.

"Hi . . . hi Mark." She stands there a moment, still stunned to see him. "Um, I'm sorry, come in," she finally offers.

"Thanks," he says as he steps inside. "This is a nice place," Mark comments, surveying the room. "I just wanted to stop by and . . . well, and see how you were getting settled in." He looks down at his hand, which clutches a bottle of wine. "Oh, and I brought you this," he says as he hands her the wine. "Sort of a housewarming gift," he explains.

"Thanks, that was thoughtful of you," she says as she takes the bottle and sets it in the kitchen. "Would you like a drink?" she calls in to Mark.

"No, no, I just stopped off on my way home. I really should get going. I just wanted to, uh . . . to make sure everything was okay."

Susan is back in the living room now, standing beside him. "Yep, everything is fine. Thanks for coming by, it means a lot to me."

Mark smiles. He's not sure what to say next. "Well, the furniture looks great. Did Doug help you get everything up here? You should have called me, I would have helped . . ."

"Actually, Doug was busy. Ben Hendrix helped me out."

"Ben Hendrix?"

"Yeah, he's one of the other attendings at Mercy. He's really nice. I'm sort of surprised you've never met him."

"Well, Kerry does must of the inter-hospital meetings. I stick mostly to County business. Um, I'm glad you like your co-workers over at Mercy though. I'll have to meet this Ben Hendrix sometime. He sounds like a great guy," Mark says. He tries to sound sincere but Susan can hear the disappointment in his voice even as he tries to mask it. "Well, I should go," he says, turning for the door.

"So soon? You're welcome to stay and have a drink . . . or just talk. You really don't have to rush off so soon."

"No, I should get home. I've got an early shift tomorrow and a staff meeting. I'll see you later this week though. I'll call you, we'll have lunch or something."

"I'd like that," Susan smiles.

"Yeah . . ." Mark says with a hint of longing in his voice. "Well, bye Susan."

"Bye Mark," she replies and he turns to leave. She watches him walk down the hall and wonders why she feels so differently than she felt watching Ben walk down the same path just hours before. She closes the door softly and goes back to making the bed, no long humming or smiling, but thinking about all that has happened today.

John Carter walks into his apartment and sets down his briefcase with a sigh. He'd spent most of the afternoon and early evening with Charlie talking about her feelings about this situation with Josh and everything else. Carter wanted to be there for her and he didn't mind listening but . . . the truth is the whole day is just starting to catch up with him. He is now completely exhausted.

He flops down on the couch and leans his head back. He wonders where Anna is and picks up the phone to call her apartment. He'd called the hospital to see if she was still there then he'd called here and to her place and hadn't been able to reach her earlier. Finally, he had decided to just call a cab, figuring she'd be home soon enough. But, it's apparent she isn't here now. And, judging by the fact that at least fifteen rings have sounded with no answer, she's not at her own apartment either.

Carter tries the hospital one more time to see if she's been back by there but Jerry tells him they haven't seen her in hours. He hangs up the phone, wondering where she might be. He lies back on the couch and closes his eyes; his forehead still wrinkled in concern but his body too tired to fight sleep any longer.

On the other side of town, Anna Del Amico hears the phone ringing but ignores it. She knows it's probably Carter. She can't talk to him right now. Everything is too confusing right now. She's spent most of the day going over the conversation they had this morning and she's still not sure where they stand. She gets the feeling John doesn't really believe her when she says she's not sure she ever wants to be a wife and mother. He thinks she's just scared. But, it's more than that. She just hopes she can make him understand before it ends up tearing them apart . . .

"The natural history museum? Are we going to see dinosaurs or something?" Carol asks as they walk through the heavy, glass doors and into the slightly chilled air of the museum.

"Just be patient," Doug says with a grin. "You'll see soon enough."

Carol can tell that her questions are not going to get her any farther now than they have all afternoon so she decides to just go along with him and see what he has planned when he's ready for her to.

"This way," he says suddenly and leads her towards a short line of people on one side of the room.

"Doug, we really didn't have to do anything else. This whole day was perfect."

"I know, but this was something I really wanted to do," he tells her.

"Okay," she says and leans her head on his shoulder as they reach the front of the line. An older man in a suit and tie takes the money Doug hands him and smiles at them both.

"Thanks," Doug says and he leads Carol inside.

It's an auditorium, but the stage is empty. "What are we here to see?" she asks.

At just about that time, a voice overhead announces, "Ladies and gentlemen, please take your seats so we can begin."

"Looks like you're about to find out," Doug grins and takes Carol's hand as they find two seats.

There aren't that many people here, which makes Carol wonder what this performance could possibly be about. The lights go down and she waits for something to happen. "Look up," Doug instructs.

She does and she is surprised to see the whole sky light up before her. "Wow," she breathes. "Oh Doug it's beautiful."

"I wanted to take you out somewhere away from the city where we could really see the sky but I didn't have the time since we both have to be back at work in the morning. So, I thought this would be the second best thing to it," he whispers. "They aren't real stars, but their pretty close."

"It's perfect, just perfect," she whispers. "I love you so much." The speaker is talking about constellations and astronomic phenomenon but Doug and Carol don't hear a word he's saying. They are too busy . . . kissing under the stars.

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