Kitchen

	John is at a kitchen counter in the studio. Stephen is at his side.


Stephen		But less of that earlier. John, you've been looking forward to
		the summer salad season, I believe.

John		I certainly have, Chris. A lot of supermarkets these days
		package fresh herbs. I'm particularly fond of this one here.

	Lifts a pinch of some green dried herb from a small bowl.

Stephen		Delicious, I must say. Dill?

John		Well, no and that's the point.

Stephen		It is?

John		It is. But I've found this very handy way of preparing it. The
		usual problem is one of wet lips rotting away the paper.

Stephen		Hello.

John		But if you take an ordinary Rizzla packet like this.

	Brings out Rizzla packet.

Stephen		Woah.

John		You can simply tear the strip off here and use it to form a
		protective cardboard roach. That way the herb ...

Stephen		(hastily) Let's see what Jane and Frank are up to over there.

	Cut to Hugh and Jane.

Hugh		Well, here we are, with Jane's blind taste test. Ready, Jane?

	Jane has a blindfold on.

Jane		As I'll ever be.

	Hugh screams with laughter.

Hugh		As I'll ever be, dear oh dear ...

	Jane sips at a glass of red wine.

		Any thoughts at all, Jane?

Jane		Wine?

	Huge applause.

Hugh		Incredible. Can you name the colour?

Jane		White.

Hugh		Oh ... Very nearly. Very nearly indeed. Have another go ...

Jane		Well ...

Hugh		Go on, one more go. I'm sure you'll get it this time ...

Jane		Blue?

Hugh		Nggg ...

Jane		I know! It's red. Definitely red.

	Huge applause.

Hugh		Jane, that is remarkable. Have a go at this one.

	Hands her another glass - she sips.

		Thoughts?

Jane		Oh I know this one. Its a Pomerol.

Hugh		Yes ...

Jane		... late growth '89, Manon des Haut Louvarges ...

Hugh		Extraordinary.

Jane		... from the north side of the hill ...

Hugh		North it is ...

Jane		... £8.85 ...

Hugh		... yes ...

Jane		... opened with an air-injection cork pull ...

Hugh		... yes ...

Jane		... poured out by a middle-aged man with cream-coloured
		trousers, who lives in Putney ...

Hugh		(calls) Tony?

Voice off	Mortlake.

Hugh		Mortlake, but near enough. Anything else?

Jane		... thirty-three to one outsider Saffron Lad will win the
		National by eight lengths, there will be a mild earthquake in
		Mexico City at the end of August, the Liberal Democrats will
		take South Molesley with a thirty per cent swing, and Frank ...

Hugh		Still here, my darling ...

Jane		You should beware of anyone called Rupert ...

Hugh		Will do ...

Jane		And electric fans.

Hugh		Rupert and electric fans, gotcha.