Chapter 11
Dawn approached Port Charles, sliding silently over homes and businesses, parks and playgrounds. Sunlight stained the sky, painting a canvas, allowing brilliant pinks and purples to somehow flow into a perfect blue.
Stefan Cassadine was up with dawn’s first light, continuing to organize his affairs. The brilliant beauty surrounding him was, however, lost to him due to the fact that he had way too many things on his mind. And, too much pain in his heart.
For the first time since he had met his Lasha, he had the strange, extremely brief thought that suicide might be a better escape.
He was almost ready to leave for parts unknown. It was now a little past seven in the morning, and a suitcase already lay open on his bed, almost completely filled. He planned to travel very lightly - sending everything to him when he had a new place to settle. Nowhere would ever really be a home to him, not now. Not without her. But,perhaps there was somewhere that he could find a measure of peace.
He had the basics packed - clothes, a book, his laptop... Now, he was having problems deciding on the nonessentials. The pictures, for example, had yet to find any place in his luggage - because every single framed image brought to him a wave of unbearable memories. More than once, he had threatened to throw them into the fireplace but, like the ring, he could never loosen his grasp when the time came.
His hand had caught upon photos of Laura a million times already, and had simply put them down again. Either way, he just couldn’t do anything with them.
But, he had to do something!
With a sudden movement, Stefan reached across his bureau, and pulled a framed photograph at random. But, when he finally had it in his hand, he had to pause and look at it.
It was the black and white photograph of Nikolas when he was five year’s old, at the cove in Greece. Even then, Stefan could recall, the boy has always pulled away from the trappings of the Cassadines. His eyes had always drawn to the water. Stefan could still recall the way Nikolas’s tiny hands would draw down the beach and beat across the waves. Even in this photo, the eyes weren’t quite looking at Stefan – they were starting to slide away. But, the little boy’s grin was unmistakable.
He smiled with the memory. Nikolas had been practically bouncing that day, unable to keep still. His governess had left in a huff, after the little prince had unsuccessfully tried to paint her hair green. The important guests of Helena, a royal family from Germany, had politely declined every invitation for that day.
Helena had been ready to kill... well, Stefan, actually, for not repressing the Prince Cassadine. Before she could do any real damage, though, Stefan had taken the child outside, letting him be free. He had played with Nikolas, and his son...his nephew...had been a lot happier.
Finally, he had gotten the photo snapped of Nikolas, just because he had wanted to.
With the memory still fresh in his mind, he reached the phone near the side of his bed and called his son. The answering machine picked it up.
“Good morning, Nikolas. I understand you are out. And, I know you probably don’t wish to really see me at all. But, there has been a change in my plans, and it concerns you. I’d like to see you tonight. Call back.”
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
Laura was awake early, too, this day - the birds’s song called her away from slumber. But, they did not cause her pause to smile. Instead, the darkness of the night before refused to leave her. The last night had been just as restless as the one proceeding it.
But, she refused to dwell on what had caused her unsafe slumber. She disallowed any past to torture her. Instead, she concentrated on a future. Her future. Which would be, with any luck, inhabited by a reconstruction of her family of old - Lulu, Lucky, and Luke.
With concentrated movements, she continued to ignore the pull in her heart towards something else.
She had to concentrate on her youth. Luke had loved her when she was young, Laura told herself; he would follow her again if he just saw that she was that same girl. And, then they would be united, and could convince Lucky that the lie did not have to harm, and both of them loved him. They’d be a happy, united family once more, living an isolated dream.
Of course, it would never be like before, simply because Nikolas had to fit into the picture, now. There was no way around it. And, Laura would die before she abandoned her son a fourth time. She had vowed to never leave him again; her first-born had put too much faith in her for her to take it for granted.
So, she would simply find a way for Luke to let Nikolas in, and she would still have a united family. A happy existence.
But, what about Stefan? The thought came to her suddenly, breaking through the happy dream like a pin through a bubble. What would she do with her recent ex-lover, for whom she still harbored feelings for and had many things to resolve with?
She ignored that thought, too, and concentrated instead on curling her mane of thick blond waves.
Quite a few moments later, the thick waves had been transformed into a sea of tiny curls. It made her look years younger. Not quite like the girl Luke had led across oceans, but definitely closer. However, despite her best attempts, she could not be that same girl.
And, her heart could not forget the years since.
But, bravely, she would keep going. That was her resolution, and she would endeavor not to break it. And, if her memories, her thoughts...if her heart tried to hinder her, she would simply ignore it.
Eventually, she was ready to leave the house. Her dress was long and thin, her hair arranged in perfect disarray. Her makeup was delicately finished and her eyes were sparked with gold, like sunlight.
She called out to Leslie Lu, who should’ve been ready by this moment.
“Come on, Lulu, or you’ll be late for day care.”
Moments later, the pitter-patter of little feet interrupted the silence in Laura’s bedroom. Laura looked at the door, and saw her little girl run in, dark hair already falling from those darling braids, the skirt of her dress still freshly hemmed and dark eyes that sparkled even at 7:30 AM.
“You look perfect, darling.” she told Lulu.
Lulu offered her mother a dazzling grin, twirling in her skirts. “Mommy?”
Laura stood, trying to arrange her purse. “Yes, dear?”
“When’s Daddy coming to visit?”
Leslie Lu was still a little too young to catch the startled way Laura turned, or how the youthful position had suddenly grown stiffer.
Laura, however, had been through having a five year old before. She pasted a smile back on her lips. “Daddy usually surprises you, Lulu. He’ll come when you least expect it.” Laura straightened, grabbed the water glass off of her bureau, and began to sip from it. Her throat suddenly felt undeniably dry, and she could not sate it fast enough.
Lulu, however, was not satisfied with that answer. “What about Lucky?”
Laura took a swallow, moved her glass away from her face, and smiled again at Lulu. “Oh, he’ll probably visit you in a few more days. Got your sweater?”
“Yes.” Lulu was still wanting a more direct answer, which Laura could not supply. The little girl paused, her face scrunched up as if in contemplation. “What about Stefan?”
This question was followed by the longest silence either one of them had ever experienced, broken only by the cushioned sound of an half-full water glass falling onto a shag carpet.
Laura watched the glass fall as though she was frozen in time and space, silent as a nun. Her face was made of pale china; her eyes the only spark of color in the whole visage.
Leslie Lu was frightened. Where had her Mommy’s smile gone? “Mommy?”
Laura remained silent and stiff. Leslie Lu tried once more. “Mama?”
And, finally, Laura turned. The smile on her face was stiff and her eyes had lost that touch of gold - but Leslie Lu did not sense this. “Sorry, darling. You just startled me, is all.” she paused. “If you really want to see Stefan, then I suggest asking your brother Nikolas. He has more contact than I. I was just surprised that you would want to see him.”
Laura’s daughter had her eyes on the ground. “I’m sorry.”
Laura kissed the top of her daughter’s head, and attempted to make her smile more real and reassuring. “Don’t be. You did absolutely nothing wrong. I know that when Stefan used to visit, he’d play with you. And, I’m sure you miss him. But, I can’t bring him to you ... just like I can’t bring Daddy back to you.” she paused, picked the glass off the carpet, and placed it back on the dresser. Then, with that still all-too fake smile, she finished. “But, I’ll take you to the park later. Okay?”
Lulu didn’t catch the fake smile. She beamed at her mom. “Okay.” she chirped, happy once more.
“Got your doll?”
“Yep.”
“Okay, then.” she grabbed her purse off of the bed, and let Lulu’s hand lock into her’s. “Let’s go.”
Laura let Lulu lead her out of the room, closing the door behind her. And, like a million times before, Laura continued to ignore her heart.
And, instead focused on the passage ahead.
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
Nikolas was walking around Port Charles by ten in the morning. It was still rather early for almost anyone under 21, but since Nikolas had been trained to be the Cassadine heir since birth, he had long been the early riser.
He was still vaguely puzzled by his father’s early morning message. He had gone out for a quick breakfast with Elizabeth before she started work at Kelly’s. When he had come back, the message had been on his machine. He wasn’t sure what it meant; why did his father want to meet him? If there was family business, Stefan would simply tell him it was urgent and order Nikolas to come over right away. The message, on the other hand, had been unfailing polite. It almost seemed as if Stefan was making absolutely positive his son did not have another angry, impatient outburst - like the ones he’s been having often in his father’s presence. And, was Nikolas imagining the soft depression that seemed to almost overwhelm the whole of the request?
Nikolas wasn’t sure what to think. And, it bothered him that he still cared. His father had wrecked so many lives as of late; hurt the whole Spencer clan along with Liz Webber. No excuse could fix that. No excuse could give Lucky back that year lost due to the Cassadines, whether it be Helena or Stefan. Nikolas wanted to make somebody hurt for the pain that had been caused, and his father certainly had enough ties. Consequently, he had lost faith in his family.
Nikolas Cassadine wasn’t sure anymore if he could ever forgive his father. He didn’t even know if he wanted to.
Suddenly, Nikolas whipped himself out of his revere. He did not need to think about this right now! He had already told his father he would meet him; left a message with Mrs. Lansbury. He would deal with this problem then, when he needed to. Not now.
And, abruptly, he went to look for some friends.
Redemption
Chapter 12
After packing what he could, Stefan allowed himself a day of remembrance. Although quite ready to leave behind every broken promise, every shattered dream, and... well, practically everything in Port Charles, he was still uneasy about leaving the little town behind. Something inside him believed he would miss out on something. And, he was vaguely tugged upon by this conflict. It was strange; it was confusing. There was nothing in this town left for him to love; only betrayal had stayed behind. And, yet, he didn’t wish to let it go.
So, in hopes of being able to let go of it, eventually, Stefan decided to say a quiet goodbye to the town that had, however briefly, been his home.
He walked alone, silent, down old streets and up alley ways, keeping decidedly out of view from anyone he could’ve possibly known. He traced around old stomping grounds, going as far as Lucky’s boxcar (where, thankfully, no Lucky was) and down the railroad tracks where his Laura had almost died. He had to pause at the railroad tracks; there was such a genuine connection there. That had been the one place where Laura had finally cried out for his help; when he had truly been able to give it. If he closed his eyes, he could still hear the approaching train; still feel the panic. She had been frozen amidst her memories, blinded by grief. And, he had saved her. He had pulled her up, off of the tracks. And, if he was asked again, even right this second, he would’ve still pulled her off.
Abruptly, he moved on, unable to stay. He reached the untouched field, where he had planned to build his house with Laura. Where he had explained everything to her, and told her he would wait for her, until she knew. No construction had been done since February; the area was still empty. And, though it was a brilliant late spring day, with absolutely gorgeous weather, it was cold on that lot of land.
It occurred to Stefan, again, that he was still haunted by memories of her, despite the disillusion. He knew the best medicine was to leave the area, just as he planned to leave Port Charles. And, yet, he still lingered before pulling away from the empty lot.
Finally, he finished his tour of Port Charles. He was ready to return to Wyndemere; to finish packing before he met up with Nikolas. But, when he actually did reach the docks, he found himself rooted to the spot, unable to move forward. Someone stood ahead of him, his back to Stefan. Stefan, in turn, was suddenly filled with a sense of hatred; of anger, and almost of fury. He wanted to, quite frankly, push the person into the still frigid waters of the lake. The depth of his loathing was so great; all thoughts of Laura were pushed aside, for the moment. And, yet, they were connected.
For, the person standing ahead of Stefan was, of course, non other than Luke Spencer.
Redemption
Chapter 13
Stefan remained glued to his place, staring at Luke Spencer’s form. At this very moment, he hated Luke more than he ever had hated anyone before in his life, save Helena. Luke had taken Laura away from him, and in Stefan’s opinion, he deserved to die a horrible and vicious death. But, Stefan was also still thinking somewhat rationally. So, he finally calmed himself down, and decided to let it go. There was just too much happening; too much going on with Laura and Lucky between them. He was in too much pain, and in too much confusion to simply duke it out with Luke Spencer. And, besides, despite how Luke had convinced Laura and Nikolas that Stefan had kidnapped Lucky for some sort of personal gain, Stefan still didn’t want to let go of the single, fragile hope that Lucky would really disprove all of his father’s allegations. He didn’t want what he had done to go to any waste. It was best to walk away.
Unfortunately, Luke had heard Stefan’s footsteps behind him. And, he had no desire to allow Stefan to just keep going. He turned, suddenly, and Stefan could see the late morning sunlight glinting dangerously in his pale blue eyes.
“Where do you think you’re going?” the voice was a little off-balance, as if Luke’d had just a little too much to drink. But, Stefan didn’t sense that.
Stefan was still set against engaging in this pointless argument. “Home.” he answered, shortly, hoping Luke would leave it at that.
Luke, of course, would not. “Not yet, you don’t. I have something to tell you, first.”
Usually, Stefan would not have dignified that request with a response. But, regardless of how much he still hated Luke Spencer, he just wasn’t in the mood to bother. He sighed. “Yes?”
“My son said you didn’t kidnap him.”
Stefan was silent, waiting for the rest of it. And, soon, Luke finished.
“But, I know you did. I know you were working with your Black Widow of a mother, and somehow you changed his mind. I’m gonna change it back. And, when I do, your hide had just better be well-hidden.”
Well, fine. If Luke was going to be this annoying, Stefan was going to respond. “You don’t believe your own son?” he asked, coolly.
Luke was unfazed. “Pretend to be Saint Stefan all you like. Eventually, my son will remember who he really is, and stop lying for your sake.”
Stefan was still mild. But, he was going to say his peace. “I don’t know why I bother repeating it. I didn’t kidnap your son. And, if Lucky says I didn’t, then he is telling the truth.”
“I saw you!”
“You saw me try to rescue him.” Stefan answered, almost heated. His brown eyes flashed fire. But, slowly, he regained his grounding. “But, if you want to believe what you think you saw, then go ahead. You already convinced Laura and Nikolas. The only person who knows the truth, and who should be unbiased, is Lucky. And, he has already disproven all you’ve said. Eventually, the facts will pile up, and your scenario will be proven a fake. And, I won’t have to do a thing.”
And, he walked away. Leaving Luke completely and utterly speechless, but with his hatred of all things Cassadine still smoldering... and growing.
Redemption
Chapter 14
Laura Spencer arrived home by early afternoon. The idea that nobody would be there, with Stefan long gone from her home, Luke safely encased in Felecia’s arms and Roy off to God-knows-where with Bobbie, had kept her away for quite a long time. She simply couldn’t face the empty house. But, she couldn’t stay at the grocery store forever. So, finally she made it to her front door, unsure of how she would face the empty door.
Imagine her complete surprise when she discovered Alexis Davis waiting at her front porch to greet her.
Laura looked over the younger woman from behind her grocery bags. Alexis didn’t ever visit the Spencer home. Being Stefan’s sister, the lawyer usually wanted nothing to do with the Spencer clan. And, considering the death of Laura’s relationship with Stefan, there was no reason for her to be there.
But, there she was.
Laura decided not to ask anything, yet, and instead unlocked her front door. Once her grocery bags were safely upon her front table, Laura finally turned to look at Alexis, who had followed Laura in the house but still remained silent. Laura noticed something subtly different.
She opened her mouth to speak, but before she could, Alexis beat her to it.
“Just so you know, Laura, I’m not here for a friendly visit. My opinion of you hasn’t changed.”
Laura came up with a pointed reply. Just as Alexis didn’t care for her company; Laura didn’t care for Alexis’s visit, either. “Then, why are you here?”
Alexis sighed, and suddenly Laura saw the difference. Alexis looked defeated, and Alexis Davis never looked defeated. Despite Laura dislike towards Alexis, she had to listen.
And, after a long moment, Stefan Cassadine’s younger sister finally spoke. She seemed loathe to do it. “I need your help.”
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
Laura immediately sat down on a chair, not noticing how Alexis had perched upon the sofa, and was looking straight at Laura with unblinking brown eyes. Since when did Alexis need her help... for anything? The only time she would even ask was if something had happened with Stefan.
But, her interest was piqued. “Why?”
“Stefan’s leaving.”
Laura breathed again. “Oh. I knew that already.”
Alexis paused, albeit briefly. “Then you know why he’s leaving.”
“To get Helena to follow him, and kill her.” Laura answered, still unsure of what Alexis was trying to get at. “To free everyone.”
“He’s going to get himself killed.”
“He thinks he can do it. Who am I to stop him?” Laura answered, knowing she wasn’t being completely truthful. But, Alexis didn’t need to know what had really been going on in her ex-sister-in-law’s head. “Besides, I think he wants to do it. He needs to.”
Alexis suddenly turned an incredulous look on Laura. “Do you actually think my brother wants to do this?”
“Why else would he?” Laura responded, still unsure why she was engaging herself in this. And, continuing to ignore any nagging doubts. “If he doesn’t want to, and if he doesn’t think he should, then why is he risking his neck?”
Alexis answered as if it were obvious. “He’s trying to get away from you.”
Laura blinked, momentarily silenced, unsure of what to say. She would not tell Alexis that the exact thought had entered her mind, too. She was too proud to bother. “What are you talking about?”
“Well, despite the obvious reasons not to, my brother is completely in love with you. Despite how he deserves better, he still cares for you. He is haunted. You destroyed him.” Alexis was accusatory, now, and Laura would have none of it. Not in her house.
Laura’s response came out more defensive than she wished it to be, but with quite enough passion. “I stood beside him, even after every time he lied to me. Whether he was Nikolas’s father or uncle...whether or not he poisoned Helena. I never punished him for lying to me. I loved him, and I cared for him. But, lying to me about my son is just unforgivable.” Laura slowly pulled herself to a standing position once more.
Alexis would not back down. Laura was on trial, and Alexis was prosecutor. “You never loved him.”
“What?”
“You never cared. You were controlling, and cruel, and ‘loved’ my brother only when it was convenient for you, when Luke was out of your hands. When you couldn’t reach your husband, or when you needed Stefan for one thing or another. You never even tried to care about his feelings.” she paused, catching her breath, trying to recapture her point. She did not notice the look in Laura’s eyes. “But, despite everything, he still loved you. He still loves you, Laura. But, you broke his heart.” She paused again, and had to stop.
And, before Laura could reenter, Alexis had to go on. “He is dying inside. Every memory of what he once had, however briefly he had it, haunts him every night. He doesn’t tell me anything, but I can see it in his eyes. He is running away from his memories.” she paused, one more time, hoping her words would reiterate through Laura. “He is running away from you.”
“Well, if I never loved him, like you say, then why are you asking me for help?”
Alexis seemed to calm down, then. She took a long breath, as if to quiet her feelings. And, once more, she spoke. “He isn’t thinking straight. He doesn’t seem to truly know how easily he could get himself killed. Or, if he does, he’s choosing to ignore that practical side of himself, because he’s so desperate to get away from you. He will get himself killed, I don’t doubt it. And, I, for one, don’t want him dead.”
Laura still did not see Alexis’s true point. “Then, why don’t you tell him to stay?”
“I tried. He won’t listen to me. But, I know he’ll listen to you.”
Laura was surprised. “Forgive me, but you just said that I didn’t love him, ever. If you believe that, then what could I possibly say to make him stay?”
“I don’t believe you ever truly loved him.” Alexis agreed. She hesitated, before completing her thought. “But, I know he believes in it. And, the only possible way for him to stay is if you let him know you believe in it, too.”
Alexis was confusing Laura. And, Laura had no choice but to voice her confusion, although she would rather have just kicked Alexis Davis out the door. “If you think I never loved him, then wouldn’t it be a lie to try and keep him?”
Alexis looked up at this, and struggled to get her thoughts more coherent. And, finally, it came out clearly. “I need you to prove me wrong. If you truly love him, like you claim, then you will admit it to him. And, he will stay.“ and, finally, she stood up. “That’s all I came here to say.” Alexis headed towards the door.
Laura’s voice stopped her, though, as she finally processed all that Alexis had said. “He’s leaving because he is haunted?”
“Yes. And, I know that it’s every memory of you that is chasing him away. I don’t know why, but he needs you. I really believe you’re the only one who can keep him here.” and, Stefan’s sister slid softly out the door.
The weight of Alexis’s final words fell on her, and Laura was glued in place. She still wanted Luke; she knew that. She needed what she had once had. But, the depth of her feelings for Stefan was growing And, she could not draw back from him; couldn’t let him go despite how hard she pulled away. She honestly didn’t know what to do.
The only thing she could do was stay there, and let the whole conversation ring through her. And, perhaps decide what was her best recourse of action.
So, she fell back into the sofa cushion, and decided to try and do just that.
Redemption
Chapter 15
Night had come to Port Charles. And, Stefan Cassadine found himself stepping off of the launch once more, and onto the docks.
As he stepped on to shore, he immediately noticed a male figure turn to him.
Stefan walked towards him. “Good evening, Nikolas.” he offered, hoping to sound pleasant. This would be a bad time for another ill-placed argument. He did not need to alienate his only son, again.
Evidentially, Nikolas was not in the mood for courtesies. “You wanted to see me?”
Stefan said nothing for a moment; he simply took a seat on the bench and watched Nikolas move about the docks. It was as if he was trying to see exactly what was playing in the Cassadine prince’s mind. But, he couldn’t pick up on it. Finally, he spoke. “If you didn’t wish to see me at all, Nikolas, you could’ve canceled.”
“You wanted to see me.” Nikolas repeated, but this time it came out as a statement.
Stefan continued to watch his son, closely. “That is not always a guarantee that you’ll show up. What made you choose to come this time, Nikolas?”
Nikolas looked up, just then, and his features were illuminated by the moonlight. He looked vaguely concerned. “I don’t know.” he finally answered, truthfully. “You sounded different.” he sounded confused. “Uncle, why did you ask to meet with me?”
Stefan winced at the tone Nikolas had taken; at the title of “Uncle”. He had relished it when his son had begun to call him “Father”. And, even when the blood tests had proved that conviction false, Nikolas had promised that it meant nothing; that Stefan had always been his father. But, now, whether it was out of spite or real hatred, Nikolas had gone back on his word, and it hurt Stefan more than he had ever expected it to.
If Nikolas saw his father’s quick movement, he made no note of it. “Tell me.”
Stefan moved a hand, briefly, over his forehead, as if he had a terrible headache, and then looked up, once more into his son’s waiting expression. “I’m sorry.” he paused. “I have a new plan to overcome your grandmother. I assumed you might wish to know what it is.” Stefan paused, again, attempting to get his sentence right. How odd it was. He had taught Nikolas lengths of fine and eloquent speech; of the exact words to get to the heart of any matter. He had taught him the intricate details of the English language, just a little over four years ago. And, a long time before that, in Greek. Now, it all lay useless at his feet. Stefan was struggling. “To protect yourself, in case anything should happen.”
“A new plan?”
“Obviously, my latest one is not working. All I am succeeding at alienating everyone in town...while Helena’s power grows each day. Those are not the goals I was trying to reach.”
His son sounded puzzled. “What do you hope to do?”
“I hope to pull Helena out of the cover that Port Charles offers her; to pull her into the daylight. She has too many escape routes in this town; too many ways to keep everyone from touching her. She can pay-off whomever she likes; kill whoever she wishes to. And, the PCPD cannot be trusted to keep track of her.”
“We’ve known that for years.” Nikolas answered.
“Yes.” Stefan agreed. “But, if I can get her out of Port Charles, she won’t have quite so many defenses. And, perhaps I can finally stop her.”
Nikolas decided not to bring up his brother; not right now. He could hear the effort in his father’s voice; how the man, who usually annoyed Nikolas with his exact wording, was having trouble getting out what he really wanted to say. That was a rare sight. And, Nikolas, despite himself, was beginning to worry about what his father was going to get himself into. “How do you plan to do that?”
“I’m leaving town.”
The answer came out so simply, as if Stefan was about to do nothing more than take a vacation. As if this was no big deal. While, in actuality, this was a big deal. And, that fact was not lost on Nikolas.
Nikolas knew, once the words were out of his father’s mouth, that this could turn into a crisis. Stefan could leave Port Charles, but he would leave everything that came with it. Regardless of all of the crimes Nikolas believed his father had committed, Nikolas would still risk his life to protect Stefan. As would Alexis. And, if absolutely pressed, Laura might still protect him, too. If he left town, he would lose everything. And, if not careful, somebody could kill him.
All of this ran through Nikolas’s mind, but he did not let any of it play onto his face. He would not let Stefan see how worried the Cassadine prince really was. He only said one thing. “I don’t understand.”
Stefan sighed, but answered. “If I leave, your grandmother will, no doubt, worry that I can look through things without supervision. She will worry that I will find something she cannot cover-up, and try to find me, in hopes of....stopping me. Perhaps, eliminating me. But, if she is also out in the open, I hope I can vanquish her.”
“But, why now?” Nikolas couldn’t help but ask. “Why not before? Like, when she killed Katherine?”
“I hoped, at the time, that we had enough evidence so that even the PCPD could not botch up the case. But, they did, anyhow.” Stefan halted, briefly, endeavoring Nikolas to truly understand his father’s position. But, his son’s eyes remained dark to him, like blinds drawn around a window. He could not see whether or not he was getting through. He continued, anyhow. “It has become clear to me that there is no way I can corner her here. She knows the town too well; there are too many places for her to hide.”
The obvious thought in his mind was that Stefan could be seriously killed by Helena, but Nikolas would not say it. He couldn’t; he didn’t know how to get it all out. He knew he didn’t want to care about this; not after all his father had done over the years. But, Nikolas could not turn his back on his father, because, despite all of the deception, lies and hatred, the man had always done so much for him. And, Nikolas never wanted his father to get himself killed.
But, he couldn’t say it. So, instead he continued on the same line of thought he was on beforehand. “I still don’t understand why you decided to do this now.”
“I don’t have anything holding me back.”
“But, Helena hasn’t done anything this time.”
“You still believe Helena?” it came out as a question, but Stefan thought he knew the answer. He just wanted to be sure.
Nikolas simply stared at him, back still straight. It was almost as if he was testing his father. “I just don’t believe you.”
“Is there something else?”
Stefan seemed to want complete honesty from his son, right now. And, Nikolas would give it. “I don’t understand, if you love Laura and I, like you claim to, how you can keep lying.”
Stefan was silent for a moment. He just looked over his son. He had thought he had known that boy well enough to have taught him enough. But, the man who was staring back at him was not his little boy. And, it wasn’t the young man who had moved out of Wyndemere. Something had changed in him, in the last year. Stefan didn’t know what had caused it. But, whatever it was - this was not the Nikolas he had seen grow up.
The Nikolas he had seen grow up would have never questioned his father’s love.
He sighed. Well, if Nikolas was going to be as honest as he could, then Stefan had to offer his son that same honesty. “I have always loved you, Nikolas. I promise you that. And, it has always been unconditional. I never wanted anything in return. It always seemed wrong to me that people could love one another, and expect them to be anything but human. I never asked anything of you, and I never expected to be paid back.” he paused. “And yet, somehow, I still wish that someone could love me in that same way - without conditions, or unattainable objectives.” the depth of sorrow in Stefan’s voice, due to whichever loss he had sustained, was bottomless, and not at all lost on his son. Nikolas waited for him to continue, remaining silent.
And, finally Stefan let out a deep breath, trying to lose the focus on his feelings. He could not look his son in the eye. “No matter. I am leaving soon; I just wanted you to know.”
And, without another word, he caught the launch, and returned to Wyndemere. Nikolas was left alone, watching the water, silently haunted by his father’s parting words.
Index