Chapter 26
Meanwhile, Alexis had just gathered enough courage to reach the door of her brother’s room in the ICU. The nondescript white door had been left open by Stefan’s last visitor, probably some nurse checking vital statistics. Alexis could see into the room without actually walking in.
She took a deep breath, and entered the room, endeavoring to stay cool and collected. Alexis didn’t want to be there; to see her brother lying in a bed, completely helpless while she felt completely useless to him. But, she would not walk out.
She couldn’t.
Alexis made her way further into the room, letting her eyes fall on Stefan’s figure in the small hospital cot. He looked so alien...and lonely. Like, somehow, there was some invisible wall around him, separating him from everyone, even those who cared about him.
Laura’s words came to her, again. Laura had told her that Stefan might have lost the will to survive. Alexis would barely have believed that it was even possible to lose that. But, now that she was seeing him, on that cot, she didn’t find it that hard to believe, anymore. He almost looked as if he was letting go.
But, if he was, how could she get him to change his mind? When Stefan was conscious, and even reasonable, he was still stubborn. How could she change his mind if she wasn’t even sure if he could hear her?
Alexis didn’t know. But, she wasn’t going to give up on him. Maybe talking to him would help. It was the only thing she could offer.
“Stefan, can you hear me?” she started softly. But, as she went on, Alexis found that the strength in her words lent itself towards more volume in her speech. “I suppose a better question would be, will you listen to me? Because, I know that half the time that I talk to you, even when you aren’t unconscious, it goes straight past you. But, I think this time, you might want to pay attention.”
Alexis took a breath, and absentmindedly pushed a strand of chestnut hair back around her ear. “I’m going to assume that Laura probably told you what they’ve hypothesized about your current condition. They say you’ve lost your will to survive.” she paused, as she tried to find the right words.
“I knew it all along, Stefan. You kept acting as though Laura really didn’t mean that much to you, and all you cared about was getting Helena. But, you couldn’t lie to me as well as you thought you could; I know you too well. I know you could never let go of Laura.”
“I just don’t understand why you constantly sacrifice yourself on her altar. Is Laura
really worth so much, Stefan? Is she really worth enough for you to give up your life?”
Alexis grew silent for a moment, as if expecting an answer. But, he didn’t respond. It didn’t matter, really; she knew the answer to her own question. Laura was worth everything to her brother. Even if he meant nothing to her, he would still offer his life to save her. And, Alexis was beginning to worry that he might actually do it this time.
“Stefan, you can’t let her determine your fate. There are other people who want you to live. Nikolas would be devastated if you left him. I know he tries to act as if he doesn’t care, but you have to see that he’s lying. You mean as much to him as you ever did. It’s just, when you didn’t tell him about Lucky, I think he considered it another betrayal of his trust. And, he couldn’t understand why you wouldn’t have told him. I tried to explain it, but I don’t think I did well.”
Alexis prayed he could hear her. “I’m not sure I could bare it, either. You can be stubborn and annoying...even malicious. I know you’re not a little lamb. But, I’ve never been scared of you. I know you would never hurt anyone you love, never intentionally. I understand that you still try to protect me. You’re in no position to deny it. And, as much as we’ve gone trough, I still can’t imagine my life without you. I don’t wish to, either.”
“I know you’ve been lonely, Stefan, and I am sorry. I know that all you were really trying to have was a family, and in trying to keep that idea safe...it was torn apart. I know that, because I know you. I understand what you wanted, but I can’t give that to you. I tried, though. I even asked Laura to speak to you. But, she didn’t come, and you never saw...” she trailed off, for a moment.
“Laura isn’t worth this, Stefan. I know you love her, but she left you, alone, again. She wouldn’t listen to anything you explained, no matter how hard you tried. She went back to Luke, and ignored your attempts. I saw her tear you apart, and I think you just tried to stop caring for her. Or, anyone. You were becoming someone dark, but I always knew you would never let her go. You proved it to me when you decided to leave the country. I know you still love her. But, she doesn’t deserve this effort.”
Alexis decided to reiterate, as all good lawyers did. “She is not worth it. There are other people who want you to live. You wouldn’t dare abandon Nikolas. He still needs you... I still need you.”
Alexis grew silent. It was odd; feeling this way about someone who could be so malicious. But, beyond everything he did, Stefan was her brother. He had risked his life for her, after Katherine had “died” the first time around. He had known that Alexis was behind it, though her intent wasn’t to kill his fiancee’, but he had refused to put her on trial for it. She knew he would do it, again. And, she still loved him.
“Please, keep in mind what I’ve told you.” Alexis told him, but somehow she instinctively knew that Laura had to be included in the package, or he would never live.
Alexis started to leave the hospital room.
Redemption
Chapter 27
As she stepped out of the door, Alexis found herself almost walking into Nikolas. He had been pacing the hall in front of the door, but as she had come out, he had stopped. Now, her nephew was watching her, his face still pale and eyes troubled.
“I thought you were with Laura.”
“I was.” he answered. “But, I felt restless. She was in her own world, so I couldn’t talk to her. And, I couldn’t just stay there and do nothing.” he hesitated, as if he wasn’t sure if he really wanted to say what was truly on his mind. “How is he?”
Alexis looked back at him, finding it incredibly difficult to hide anything from him. Especially about his father. “About the way he was when Laura saw him. I didn’t see any change.”
“Did you talk to him?”
“Yes,”
Nikolas regarded her again, and there was this odd flicker of light in his eyes; hope. “Do you think he heard you?”
“I think he heard me.” Alexis affirmed. “Whether or not he listened, well...that remains to be seen.”
Nikolas smiled at that. It was only a small smile, and it didn’t last long. But, it was something. “Yes, he has never been good at that.”
She responded with a smile. “Seriously, Nikolas, I really believe he can hear us.”
“Maybe I should talk to him.”
“He’d probably appreciate it.” she paused. “I can’t say for certain, but I think he really needs to know he’s still needed.”
“I still don’t know if I can.”
Alexis shrugged. “I can’t tell you what to do, Nikolas. But, maybe if you go in there, you might be able to get something out.” she put a hand on his shoulder, very briefly,
not used to showing a lot of family affection. Then, she headed out.
Nikolas was left alone. He stared at the door a moment.
Then, taking a deep breath, he let himself in.
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
The hospital room, where his father was housed, seemed to hush when Nikolas entered. He hated the silence; it made his feel uncomfortable and somehow guilty. But, what really worried him was the lack of movement coming from his father’s cot. Nikolas’s eyes flew to Stefan the moment he was if his range of view, and he could not help but notice how still the form was. And, how disconnected he seemed to be.
Nikolas almost couldn’t speak; it struck him so hard. But, his father needed him, and for once, he would not let him down.
“Father,” he paused, making his way closer to the bedside. “You must be surprised I’m calling you by that title, again. I know that, as of late, I’ve called you Uncle and by your proper name.” somehow, speaking to his quite father made him speak properly, as Stefan would have called it; less American. “I guess I wanted to distance myself from you... But, I didn’t really notice how much I was hurting you.”
“I want you to know, I still don’t understand. I cannot comprehend how you could know my brother was still alive, and not tell me. Or, Laura. She was so stricken by his death, and you claimed to love her more than anything. How could you hurt her like that? Or, me? How could you lie to me, again, after every lie we had gotten past?”
He paused. “I don’t even know if I could understand an explanation. I suppose I shouldn’t talk about that right now.”
He took a breath, and finally, Nikolas tried to explain his feelings. “I’ve been trying to get past it, and let you know...that you’re still my father. I might get mad at you, and disconnect from my family and the legacy. I can’t pretend to understand everything you do. But, I still love you. You’re still my father; the one person who never left me if I needed you, even if I thought I wanted you gone. Even when I ran away, you wouldn’t let me leave. And, I know you care about me more than anything.”
“But, it took me awhile to understand that, I guess. I couldn’t get past what you did, and let it slip by. Not this time. But, I had no idea I was hurting you so much. You’re always so reserved by nature, Father... It’s hard to tell when something is wrong; you always hold it in. And, I was too preoccupied, first with Lucky coming back, and then other things, to look for it. To be honest, I didn’t want to care. It looked as though you hadn’t a care for my worries; why should I care about yours? But, I was being selfish.” Nikolas now not only sounded worried, he sounded guilty. His eyes were midnight, but somehow, you could see an idea had entered him. By some path, Nikolas had become the betrayer.
He spoke just as the thoughts entered his mind. “You taught me everything I know. The reason I am who I am, especially everything good inside of me, is because you taught me it. Helena would’ve have made me into some twisted, soulless creature, like Stavros must have been. I’m not even sure how you grew into the caring human being that you are, with her as your mother. Everything good in me came from you. You taught me compassion; how to forgive my mother, who had abandoned me twice. She didn’t deserve it, but she needed it. And, somewhere along the line, you had taught me that love was built on forgiveness.” he paused.
“How could I have forgotten that?”
He looked at Stefan’s still figure, almost imploringly, as if suddenly asking for forgiveness. A switch had been flipped. “I forgave Laura, even after she abandoned me, and lied to me. I forgave Lucky for having the family I would never have; the life I would never lead. I even forgave Luke for taking my mother away from me. But, it was always hardest for me to forgive you. I don’t know why; I love you more than any of them. Maybe it’s because you’re supposed to be perfect; it’s hard to find you aren’t.” he offered a half-smile. But, his father still wasn’t responding, and the smile left his lips.
“I know, now, that I’ve been putting impossible demands on you. I realize it wasn’t fair, considering how often I argued with you about the demands you put on me. I should’ve accepted you with all of your flaws, like I know you attempted to understand me. But, I just couldn’t get past what you did, despite knowing how much you loved me. I couldn’t quite forgive you; accept that you had made a major mistake, but still cared. It didn’t add up in my eyes. And, since you never expressed any pain or regret, I never knew you needed it.”
He had been pacing the room, although his eyes had never really left his father’s still body. But, now, he was coming to the most important thing to, possibly, help Stefan choose to live - if there really was that choice for Stefan to make - and, Nikolas had to stop moving. He settled to the side of the hospital cot, and made a simple wish that Stefan had been listening, if not responding, the whole time. And, he would continue to listen, now.
“I know you think we all abandoned you; that Laura wanted nothing to do with you, and I wanted nothing to do with the Cassadines. You’re right about that; I really don’t care anything about the Cassadine legacy. But, I still love you, and I still need you.” He paused. “And, I’m willing to ignore everything between us, for awhile, if you’ll simply come back. If you’ll stop trying to leave. Remember that.”
He halted there. There was much more in Nikolas’s mind and soul; more issues that should have been discussed and resolved. There was a lot of questions between them. But, it had been hard enough to get that simple point out; the young prince wasn’t even sure if, through his monologue, he had even made any sense. At any rate, he was so exhausted with worry and confusion, he could not say anything more.
“I must go, now.” he paused, uncertainly, as if awaiting some response.
“Good night.” he told his father, after a moment, an odd remembrance of a childhood that had slipped by. At the home in Greece, when Nikolas had been younger, he’d had many arguments with his guardian. But, Stefan had never allowed him to go to sleep until he had said good night to the child; to let him know everything would be okay. It had been a way to calm the tears; the arguments, in themselves.
Now, Nikolas would leave his father with these last words, for the night. “Good night.” he said, once more, and slipped out the door.
Absolution
Chapter 28
Outside the still hospital room, Laura continued her vigil. An aching tiredness had settled over her shoulders in a knot, and outside the hospital’s world, it was past midnight. But, guilt was still gnawing away at her figure; for not seeing what Stefan had been doing...for not knowing what he was, and Laura would not leave his side until he awoke.
Nikolas had abruptly left the scene after his talk with his father. He had told her, before hurrying out, that the silence had taken it’s toll, and he couldn’t stay. Laura had promised to call him the moment there was a change, and Nikolas had left to search for a safe haven. Meanwhile, Alexis had settled into one of the unyielding waiting area seats, her laptop flipped on (having been brought over by a hovering Ned Ashton, who was rewarded with a sweet kiss), and her hands poised upon the keyboard. Her eyes were still lined with worry; her hair unkempt and tangled. She was still worried, she had explained, but she hoped work would take her mind off of her brother. And, maybe it was working; Laura could see Alexis was calmer than she had been.
But, Laura was the only one who remained with her eye affixed to the door. She didn’t know what she was waiting for; even if Stefan miraculously woke up just now, still in love with her, she would never be able to tell from her perch outside the door. But, she just felt so awful about deserting him; she had to offer him this, at least.
Suddenly, she felt a shadow fall on her, and a soft voice sounded in her ear. “Laura?”
She jumped, her nerves already shot, and turned to see Luke staring back at her. His face was haggard and ashen, his eyes oddly colored and bloodshot. His voice sounded gravelly, and he swayed a bit on his feet. Laura ignored all of this. “I have nothing to say to you, Luke.” she told him, as cool as she could manage.
“Laura,” he repeated, as if he could only say that one word.
“Why are you even here?”
“Are you going to let me talk to you, or not?” Luke finally asked, at an end.
Laura was surprised by his sudden outburst. In her confusion, she allowed herself to be led to an uninhabited corner. But, once she was there, she found her voice. “Well, Luke? What do you want to talk to me about?”
He took a length to answer her. “You know I didn’t mean to hurt you, Laura, right? You know I would never try to hurt you.”
“Luke, you shot at a man I was in love with.” she pointed out, helpfully.
“But, you know why I did it, right?”
Laura didn’t answer.
Luke attempted to explain. “I did it for you and Lucky. He kidnapped our kid, brainwashed him and everything. And, then, he started to turn you. I was trying to save our family.”
“In order to save our family, you shot at a man that might not have been guilty; a man whom your wife had been in love with, and who had lost everything?”
“I would do anything for you and Lucky.”
Laura exhaled, deeply, trying to keep herself calm. “Then, you should’ve let us go.”
Luke’s eyes flickered, briefly. “Come again, Laura?”
“I already made up my mind about Stefan, for better or for worse. And, Lucky made his opinions regarding the whole Cassadine clan very clear, months ago. We found our own ways. We didn’t need you to protect us. And, I certainly didn’t need you trying to kill Stefan.”
“I know I made a mistake, Laura.” he informed her.
“It’s more than that.” she answered. “Luke, I love him.”
His eyes drew flames at that. “I thought we went over this, Laura. He kidnapped our son...”
She interrupted him, surprisingly calm and collected, despite the predicament of her beloved. “Or, so you said. Luke, I never asked you where you got your proof. I just followed you, blindly, and I know that was my fault...”
“You want proof? Felecia and I saw him take Lucky out of that winter estate where Helena’d had him before.”
“He told me he was rescuing our son.” she answered.
“Rescuing?”
“How do you know he wasn’t?” Laura demanded. “According to Stefan, he had Lucky and was making sure he was okay, and then Helena took him, again.”
“He was covering his tracks!”
“You assume that, Luke. But, how do you know for certain he was lying?” she paused. “I know Stefan, Luke. Better than you ever did. His moves can be questionable, at times. His motives can be curious. But, I know for a fact he would never consciously hurt me or his son. He’s made mistakes; we all have. He would never try to hurt me, though.”
“I love him, Luke. I loved him, then, but I left him behind, and influenced Nikolas in the process. Stefan lost everything important to him. I cannot comprehend how you could’ve had the nerve to attack....”
He interrupted. “I already admitted I made a mistake. I shouldn’t have tried to kill Count Vlad. But, I don’t think I did the wrong thing.” he told her. “I just didn’t want to hurt you, Laura.”
“Then, the best thing you could do is just walk away. Go back to Felecia’s embrace, Luke, and leave me and Stefan alone,” she paused. “ please.” she added. “At least, for awhile.”
Luke’s demeanor had softened. “You really love him?”
Laura nodded. “More than anything.” she paused. “And, if you ever loved me at all, then you should let me be with him.”
“Even if I know your making a big mistake? Cassadine is not some wounded puppy you need to give a home to. His mask will come off in the end, Laura. He’ll hurt you again.”
What could she do to make him understand? Laura looked straight into Luke’s pale blue eyes. “What about your affair with Felecia? You don’t think that hurt me?”
“Don’t compare my relationship to Felecia with...”
“I’m just trying to point out that nobody is perfect, Luke. Not even you.” Laura interrupted, doggedly. “And, I know I’m not making any mistakes with Stefan.”
“Laura,”
“Please, Luke, I want to keep this civil.” she told him. “He loves me more than anything, and I know he would never try to hurt me. I’m safe with him.” she paused. “And, if you’re having a relationship with Felecia, which I know you are, then you have no right to turn me away from him. Just like I have no right to turn you away from Felecia.”
He still didn’t believe her, but Luke couldn’t argue with her right now. “What do you want from me, Laura?”
“Let it go, Luke. Let this whole kidnapping story go, Luke.”
He was indignant. “But, Laura,”
She cut him off. “He says he didn’t kidnap him. I say he didn’t kidnap Lucky. Even Lucky says Stefan had nothing to do with it.”
“Because Cassadine brainwashed him.”
“Then, let Lucky disprove Stefan. You have no proof. And, as long as you have no proof against him, this could be seen as nothing more as a vendetta. And, I don’t want to fight with you over a vendetta. Please, Luke?”
He finally gave in, though not completely. “All right. I won’t say anything about the kidnapping until I have proof. I’ll leave him alone...about that.”
“Thank you.”
“But, I still know you’re making a mistake.”
“Let me make it.” she told him. “Good-bye, Luke.”
Luke slunk back out of General Hospital.
And, Laura let out a relieved breath. She may have hurt Stefan in ways that she could never repair. He might wake up, and never want to see her again. He might not wake up period. There was a dark thought.
But, at least, for this moment, Laura had been able to successfully protect Stefan, and her love for him, from Luke Spencer.
Redemption
Chapter 29
Nikolas Cassadine returned to the waiting area in GH, where his aunt still sat, to discover Alexis watching Laura Spencer. Laura was in another corner of the area, still in sight, and coming back towards them. And, out of the corner of Nikolas’s eye, he could see Luke Spencer retreating towards the elevators.
What had happened? Nikolas decided to voice his question to Alexis. “Did something happen?”
“I’m not sure.” Alexis responded. “Luke showed up, and led Laura over there. They talked for quite awhile, but I didn’t hear a word about it.”
“Do you think it was about my father?”
“I’m certain it had something to do with the Cassadines; Luke speaks of little else.” Alexis answered. “Well, she’s coming; I guess we can ask her.”
Laura finally reached her destination, to find Alexis and Nikolas both regarding her with some curiousness. “What?”
“What were you talking to Luke about?” Alexis asked, not giving Laura a moment to even say hello to Nikolas.
Laura paused, and looked at the lawyer, tempted to not tell her a thing. It wasn’t as if Alexis was offering her any courtesies, anyhow. But, she knew that Alexis was just worried about her brother, and just wanted to protect him. So, she understood where the question was coming from. “I asked him to let go of this whole kidnapping story, and let me choose who I wished to be with.”
Nikolas was surprised. “And, he agreed?”
“Well, not exactly.” Laura admitted, after a moment. “But, I think he’ll leave both subjects alone for a little while.”
Nikolas paused. “But, what about the shooting?”
“I think we ought to let your father decide what to do about that, when he wakes up. And, he will wake up, Nikolas.”
Nikolas knew she couldn’t guarantee anything. But, she seemed determined, so he had to ask. “What makes you so certain?”
“I’m not.” Laura answered. “But, he just has to.” Now that she was free, and following her heart, it would simply not be right for her to loose her lover. Not after all this. He had to wake up, and return to his family.
“I think I need to talk to him one more time.” Laura said, after a moment. “Does anyone mind?”
Alexis and Nikolas both shook their heads, and Laura took her leave to visit Rm. 7. But, just as she was heading towards the room, she had the strange feeling of being pursued. She turned to look, uncertainly, behind her... and, discovered HelenaCassadine was heading in that same direction, although she was still awhile away from the waiting area where Laura, Alexis and Nikolas still were.
“Don’t worry, Mother. We can handle her.” Nikolas assured Laura, as his mother paused.
Alexis entered. “Yes. He needs you. We can keep Helena occupied.”
“If you insist.” Laura answered, and let herself into Stefan’s hospital room, letting the door close behind her.
Alexis and Nikolas were left alone, ready to face Helena.
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
As soon as Helena had reached the waiting area, and discovered who was there, her lips stretched into one of her smiles; sort of the way a cat looks after she’s caught a rat between her paws.
“Why, Nikolas. How good it is to see you. I just heard about the accident, and came as soon as I could. How are you holding up?” she spoke as if concerned.
But, Nikolas was, again, not in the mood for any of Helena’s plays. “Save it, Grandmother.”
Helena let the smile slide from her lips, and placed one fine hand over her heart, as if her grandson’s words had shocked her. “Whatever are you talking about?”
Nikolas did not care if he had shocked her. “You’re not here because you’re really worried about him.”
Helena offered her grandson a still-determined look. “This really isn’t the time to fight, my darling. Let me see Stefan, and then we can talk.”
She moved a step, and found Alexis blocking her path. “You aren’t going in there, Helena.” Alexis warned.
Helena’s smile seemed glued in place. “Why, Natasha. I didn’t even see you there.”
“Well, you see me now, don’t you?” Alexis paused. “And, you aren’t going in there, Helena.”
“Natasha, I’m surprised at you. After all, it was your friend who put our dear Stefan in the condition he’s in at the moment. Surely, you can’t deny him the right to hear his mother’s voice.”
“No, I’m protecting him from hearing his mother’s voice.” Alexis answered, certainty in her voice. It didn’t look like Helena’s comment had affected her at all.
“You can’t stop me, Natasha.” Helena seemed to warn.
“But, I can.” Nikolas told her. “Please, Grandmother, just go.”
Helena paused. “Well, since my grandson is asking so nicely. But, I will come back.” and, with those parting words, she was away.
Nikolas and Alexis watched her go, making sure she actually left the building, and then settled back into the plastic couches, waiting for Laura to come out again, too drained to even speak.
But, at least they had succeeded in getting Helena out.
Redemption
Chapter 30
Laura, meanwhile, had made her way, almost cautiously, into the same hospital room that Helena was being prevented from entering. But, Laura knew nothing of what had happened once she had stepped in. All of her concentration was on Stefan.
He still was motionless. And, he still seemed small and vulnerable on that bed. He almost reminded her of something wounded, and Laura remembered, yet again, how he had looked before Luke had locked him in the closet, that one time. How defeated he had been.
But, she was stronger, now. He had to know that.
“Stefan?” she paused, as if awaiting a response. But, she knew he wasn’t about to give one.
Still, she continued. If her plea would prove to be futile, Laura didn’t want to know. She made her way closer to his bedside, her blue eyes focused on him. “I’m not really sure what I can say to you, to convince you of my loyalty. How could you be convinced, anyhow, after how many times I’ve hurt you? But, you have to know you can’t give up on your life.”
He stirred not. How could she let him know? “Stefan, I’ve told you before. I love you, more than anything or anyone. And, I know I couldn’t prove it to you before. That I left you, and followed Luke blindly, willingly. I know I must have killed you with that action, and I am truly sorry to ever have hurt you. And, now, I know that if you’re thinking at all, you don’t believe I can actually leave Luke to be with you. That I’ll never follow you willingly, and leave Luke on the roadside. And, that’s why you’ve lost your will.”
“But, I can prove it to you this time.” she took her hand, and held his still, cold hand, shivering at the fact that it felt so lifeless. “Stefan, I did it. I let Luke go. I told him exactly what was on my mind; that he was a coward, to have shot you when you were down. That Lucky had disproved his claims, and that I believe you told me the truth - that you really didn’t kidnap him. I don’t know how I could have missed it before.”
Laura placed her eyes on him, making Stefan her attentive audience. She almost thought she saw him place his attention on her, and she almost felt him touch her. Almost. Maybe she was getting through. Laura endeavored to continue, her eyes never leaving him. “And, when he refused to leave it be, I told him to let us go. Lucky, of course, and...me. To leave us both alone, since we had found our own way. I let Luke know how much I loved you.”
Again, it was almost as if he was watching her with hopeful attention, although his eyelids remained dark and closed. Laura had to let him know. “Luke is gone out of my life. I promise this to you. And, even though I know my promises don’t always go through, this one I will keep forever. I love you more than anything, Stefan, and will leave Luke behind, willingly, to be with you. I will do anything to be with you, and if you die...I don’t know what will happen to me.” her eyes shone with teardrops. Her voice suddenly fell silent; Laura was losing the strength to keep talking to what seemed to be an impassive wall.
But, with one final effort to get through to him, she squeezed his hand and prayed that he understood. She let her eyes close with her silent wish, perhaps thinking that if there was no one to see it, a miracle would be more easily accomplished
And, in a second, she felt a pulse of life. She opened her eyes at it, without a word, and it was as if dawn had broken.
He was looking back at her.
Index