Chapter 31
Laura couldn’t believe it. She actually had to blink, to make sure he wasn’t a figment of her remarkable imagination. She almost pinched herself.
His eyes remained on her. She was really there, and he was really awake.
Once she knew it was certain, joy and relief spread through her like a wildfire. “Stefan, you’re awake.” she said, and then mentally kicked herself for saying something so stupid. She gently let go of his hand, and smoothed her messy blonde waves.
He didn’t say anything, just continued to watch her. He was strangely silent, and Laura wondered if he was too exhausted to even speak. She continued, anyhow. “I knew you’d wake up. You couldn’t leave us all behind like that. I know you better than that.” she paused, to look in his eyes.
And, that’s when the connection suddenly hit her. His eyes were truly open, and attentive. But, they were dark and uncertain, a question formed into the deep pools. Laura was confused by this. He was awake, and they were together. Why wasn’t he happy? “Are you okay?”
He endeavored to speak, concentrating himself on the act. His voice came out soft and raspy, almost tired. It even took him awhile to form the whole question. But, his tone was not lost on her. “I’m sorry, but I have to ask, before anything else...”
Her eyes were with him again, those shining blue eyes. “What is it, Stefan? Please, tell me.”
“Is what you said true?” he asked, uncertainly. “All of it?”
She heard the doubtfulness in his voice; almost the vulnerability. He had been awake all of a moment, and already guilt was descending upon her again. The thing he cared about most in this world was his family, and her above all else. How could she have done this to him?
But, Laura found the strength to answer him. “Of course I meant it, Stefan. Every word. I can’t believe I mistrusted you so well, or hurt you so much. I promise to never do that again. I truly love you, Stefan.”
With those words, the clouds lifted and the sun rose. So to speak, anyhow. His eyes turned pure gold, and a smile finally lifted his features. “I love you, too.”
Almost unconsciously, his hand moved to grasp hers. She allowed him to cling it, and offered him a relived smile. “I was so worried that you would not wake up. That you would not come back to me. They told me you lost your will to survive.”
The light in his eyes seemed to glow a little less, as he actually attempted to elude her gaze. He would not answer her question; not at the moment. “Is everyone else okay?”
Laura could not understand why he had ignored her question, but she couldn’t ask him again, not right this second. So, she simply answered him. “Nikolas and Alexis were waiting right outside the door, last I checked. Trying to head-off Helena, I might add.”
Stefan glanced at the door. “They are doing well.”
“Should I let you see them?” Laura asked him, as if the question hadn’t even entered her mind. Actually, Laura really didn’t want to give up her peaceful moment with her lover.
“It’s entirely up to you.”
“I will tell them you’re awake.” she resolved, after a moment’s hesitation. He nodded, and dropped her hand from his grasp. Laura allowed herself not another moment’s pause, but made her way out the door, glancing uncertainly at him on her way out, worried about what had caused his sudden shift in attitude.
Redemption
Chapter 32
A moment later, Laura had successfully closed the door to Stefan’s room, and was glancing around for Alexis and Nikolas. She finally spied them still on the hard, plastic waiting room couches. So, quickly, she made her way to them.
“That was fast.” Alexis remarked, as soon as Laura was close enough to hear her comment.
Laura glanced at her watch. Amazingly, not much time had past; no more than five or six minutes. It had seemed a lot longer in that room.
Nikolas was watching his mother, anxiously, not at all oblivious to the confused light in her blue eyes. “Did something happen?”
There was a brilliant amount of illumination in her eyes when she answered, but the confusion on how Stefan had changed would not leave her. “He’s awake.”
“He’s awake?” Alexis repeated, her amber eyes lit on Laura.
Laura nodded. “He woke up. His eyes are open, and he’s even talking.”
“Well, can we see him?” Nikolas asked him mother, still confused. But, the worry was beginning to lift from his dark eyes.
Laura paused. She needed another moment alone with Stefan. But, she couldn’t keep Stefan from seeing the rest of his family. “Of course, Nikolas. I think he’d be surprised, if you didn’t.”
Nikolas turned to Alexis. “Well, do you think we should see him alone or together?”
Alexis shrugged, happily relieved that her brother was awake, once more. “What do you want, Nikolas?”
Nikolas hesitated, a moment, before answering her. “Actually, would you mind terribly if I had a moment alone with my father, first? And, then, you can come in, if you want.”
Alexis smiled at him. “Of course not, Nikolas. Be my guest.”
Nikolas turned to see Laura, vaguely noticing her trembles. “Mother?”
Laura offered him her happiest smile. “By all means, Nikolas, go ahead. I’m certain Stefan will be delighted to see you.”
Nikolas turned towards the door, running his hand over his mussed black waves, quickly. But, before he made his way to the door, he scooped up his mother in a hug. “I know you want to talk to him some more.” he told her, softly. “I promise to be as quick as possible.”
Then, he pulled away and let himself into his father’s hospital room.
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
At first, when Nikolas entered the hospital room, there was still a silence to it that confused him. But, a quick glance up showed him that Stefan was, indeed, okay, although he seemed to have fallen asleep.
“Father?” Nikolas approached the bed.
Stefan’s eyes fluttered open, and Nikolas saw what Laura had - the pain seemed to have lifted from them. He appraised his son, attentively, and Nikolas almost recognized the man that he had almost glimpsed, while growing up. “Nikolas.” he stopped, sounding surprised, his voice still weak. “You’re calling me‘father’, again.”
Nikolas nodded. “You heard me earlier, right?”
Stefan nodded. “But, I wasn’t certain if it would carry through.”
“No, no.” Nikolas answered. “I think I finally understand, and I believe this time, it will stick awhile longer.” he paused, and grinned for a moment. “At least, two weeks. Maybe a week and a half, if you do something I really disapprove of...”
Stefan laughed. It had been a long time since Nikolas had last heard his father laugh like that; that happily. “That is better than nothing, I suppose.”
Nikolas turned serious, once more. “Father, you aren’t upset with me in any way, right?”
Stefan shook his head, or did the best he could, anyhow, considering he was still attached to all those tubes. “Not at all.”
“But, I -”
Stefan interrupted him, but still as politely as possible. “As long as you know how much I care for you, at this moment, Nikolas, and are trying to understand my motives...then, I have to let the past be the past.”
Nikolas was startled by his father’s new view, and he decided to express this opinion. “That doesn’t sound much like you.”
Stefan smiled, and spoke with a good amount of humor - for him, anyhow. “Well, you know, when you’re unconscious, you have a lot of time to think. I’m learning that, sometimes, you need to let go.”
Nikolas allowed the smile to once more cross his face. “Well, I am impressed.”
“I do everything to impress my son.” Stefan answered, dryly, still in good humor.
Nikolas paused. “Well, should I let Alexis in?”
“Is she all right?”
“She’ll be better as soon as she sees you.” Nikolas answered. He paused, knowing he couldn’t end the conversation without letting his father know. “Father, you know that I love-”
Stefan interrupted, again. “Yes, I know. Thank you. I don’t need to explain my feelings for you, do I?”
“No,”
Stefan smiled again. “Then, why don’t you let my sister in? After all, I only have two
weeks until I fall out of your favor, again. Allow me to enjoy them.”
“Of course, Father.” Nikolas’s smile trailed up to his eyes, making them brighten and shine; the darkness diminished. It suddenly came to Nikolas, oddly enough, how much his father really meant to him. The only way, at the moment, that he could’ve been happier was if Liz Webber suddenly burst through the door, proclaiming her undying love for the Cassadine prince.
But, since that was never going to happen, this was definitely a close second - to see his father healthy, and to have finally to know what his relationship with Stefan mightbe.
With a flourish, he opened the door, and allowed his aunt inside, leaving brother and sister alone.
Alexis spoke to him for a moment. “I have to keep this quick, because I think Laura wants some more time alone with you.”
Stefan laughed. “Is she being that obvious?”
“She’s about to pounce on the door.” Alexis answered, smiling back. “So, may I ask, how are you doing?”
“Better than I have in awhile.” Stefan answered, truthfully. “And, you?”
“Remarkably better, but I’m not the important part of the picture, right now.” She paused, concentrating on her brother. “It was Laura, wasn’t it? You broke through because of her, didn’t you?”
“It was all of you.” Stefan answered, in earnest. “If I broke through it, as you word it, because of one thing or another, then it was all three of you.” he paused, and spoke, honestly. “I needed to know I was still needed, Alexis, and you reminded me of this.”
Alexis smiled. “You’re welcome.” she hesitated. “But, it was still Laura, wasn’t it?”
“The final element, yes.” he answered.
“Stefan,”
He looked back at her, unfazed. “Alexis, I know what I’m doing. She promised.”
“She promised last time, didn’t she?”
Stefan smiled at his little sister. “I know you’re only trying to protect me, but you have to let me make my mistakes.” he paused, and let the light flash in his eyes. “Not that I’m making one.”
Alexis pretended to be miffed. “Well, I’ll let you spend some more time with her, for now.”
“Thank you for the permission.” Stefan answered, dryly.
“But, this is far from over.”
“I knew you couldn’t stop that quickly.”
Alexis simply smiled, and moved to open the door. “Okay, Laura, you can come back in, now.” and she ushered the Spencer angel in, as she ushered herself out.
The lovers were alone, once more.
Redemption
Chapter 33
Laura let herself fully into the room, her eyes on the floor, for the moment. She couldn’t look in his eyes, anymore, although she felt his eyes on him. She felt uncertain with him, still; he hadn’t said much to her since telling her he loved her.
Laura needed to know what had changed his responses to her.
“I’m sorry, Stefan. I know you’re probably exhausted, and we’ve all been through a lot, recently. But...” she began, still not looking at him. He was attentive to her, though.
“What is it, Laura?”
Now, she looked up, and could see the concern in his burnt gold eyes. She had to go through with it. “When you woke up, and I confirmed my feelings for you, your eyes lit and you told me you loved me. But, then, when I mentioned how scared I had been; that you had lost your will, your expression darkened.”
Stefan would deny her nothing; especially in regards to the truth. “Yes,”
She hesitated, and then continued, her blue eyes drawn on him, her skin still a shade too pale. “What happened?”
He sighed. “Laura,”
“Please, tell me. Whatever it is, I need to know or else there won’t be a way to get around it, Stefan. What happened?”
He took a breath. He didn’t want to tell her, but he could never lie to his Lasha. Never very well, anyhow; if you could call lying something that could be done well. So, he told her exactly what had made his eyes darken. “Laura, I had lost it.”
Her eyes reflected a brief bit of confusion. “Lost what?”
“My will to survive.” Stefan explained.
“What do you mean? Please, explain.” she begged him.
It worried Stefan that he would hurt her by telling her, but he would never deny her anything she needed to know. Perhaps she needed to know what had gone through his mind when Luke had pulled that gun at him. “When I told you of my plan to rid the world of Helena, that was my plan. I wanted to take myself out of town, away from any memories or any dreams I might have had of a family, or of...you. Perhaps Alexis and Nikolas already discovered it.”
“I think they did.”
“Well, that was my plan, Lasha. You understand? I would free everyone from Helena, from all of the Cassadine legacy that nobody wanted. And, in the process, perhaps I could free myself from all of those broken dreams. But, I slowly discovered that something in me didn’t want to let them go, any of them. That there was something in me that couldn’t let anything go, despite how much it began to pain me every time I saw you.”
Laura was struck. No wonder he had begun to turn from her; had put up a wall. She had begun to believe she had crushed him, but knowing the idea and having to face the damage she had wrought were two very different things. She couldn’t even get the words out to comfort him; they all seemed so hollow now.
Not oblivious or unseeing to her guilt, Stefan still had to continue. “When Luke showed up with a gun, I saw a way out. To be honest, Laura, I was just so tired of all of it. I was certain Alexis was safe, while Nikolas seemed to want no part in my life. And, I knew, beyond anything, that I would never be happy without you. I wasn’t even certain I could be much of anything without you. So, I didn’t fight him.”
Her heart was breaking for him; for what she had made him. Stefan was the strongest person she knew; to have survived a lifetime was Helena as a mother, and yet remained a loving human being made him seem almost invincible; it had seemed as if nothing could touch him. How could she have done this to him? “Stefan,”
He couldn’t let her speak; he had to let it all out, or he’d never tell her. And, Laura needed truth - even if it hurt her. “Then, after I fell and I saw you there beside me, proclaiming your love for me and your trust of me, I couldn’t believe it. I was certain you were lost; how could you be with me again? I wasn’t going to stay with you, and start another one of those cycles. I was not going to go on to any of this again, and I was never going to hurt you, again. So, I had to let go. But, before I did, I needed you to know that I still loved you, past anything else. Whether or not you loved me was not important.”
He had spoken gently, not wishing her to feel bad for him. She had admitted her love for him, and willingly left Luke at the roadside. That was all he cared about, now; that she loved him. He could forget and forgive anything she did to him, as long as he knew her love was true.
But, despite Stefan’s care in the way he presented what he had been going through,her look was still guilty. Her skin seemed more translucent, her eyes shining oddly in the harsh hospital lights. For a moment, she looked as if she wanted to defend herself. Stefan waited, patiently and attentively, as he watched her lips part to speak. However, Laura stopped herself before the words came out. She took a moment to reform her thoughts, and then started again.
“I’m sorry, Stefan. I’m sorry I put you through so much, that I made you end up questioning your very life. I should never have hurt you like that. I -”
He interrupted her, his warm eyes never leaving the figure of his beloved. “Don’t apologize, Lasha.”
“But, I hurt you. I-”
He cut her off again. He would have none of this. “Laura, all I need to know is that you love me, right now.”
“I do.” she said, at once.
He smiled once more, more life in his eyes than Laura had seen in a long time. She was recognizing him, again. “Then, nothing else matters.”
Laura Spencer had never loved anyone as much as she loved Stefan, at that precise moment. And, she would show him.
She moved down, slowly, and let her lips press against him. He kissed her back with as much strength as his body would allow.
“I’ve missed you.” Laura told him, once she slipped out of the awkward, and yet satisfying, kiss.
“I’ve missed you, too.” he acknowledged back, wishing silently that he could get out of the hospital bed right this second, and take her into his arms, and do something besides weakly kiss her while he was still attached to an IV.
She glanced at her watch. “I should leave. Lulu should be home by now. She’ll wonder where I went.”
“Tell her I said hello.” Stefan offered, as Laura moved towards the door. She hesitated, before opening it. Her smile was still gentle.
“You know, she asked about you just a couple of days ago. She misses you.”
Stefan answered with a startled and then full smile. Again, the smile was starting to become more natural in his expression. Laura was happy with this, too; she loved it when she could make him grin. “Let Miss Spencer know I will see her as soon as I can.”
Laura grinned back at him. “Indeed I will.” she paused. “Get sleep, Stefan.”
“What do you think I’ve been doing since they admitted me?”
“I doubt it was sleeping.” Laura responded. “I would hate to think you slept through all of our little speeches.”
This time, he actually laughed, happily in love. “Yes, I would be in trouble if I had, wouldn’t I? Goodbye, Lasha.”
“Bye.” she returned, and then left, closing the door behind her. Stefan watched her leave, and then sighed, almost with happiness. For once, his life was back on track again.
And, the way Laura looked at him, now, perhaps it was going to stay that way.
Well, probably not, but at least Stefan now had more hope in his future.
Redemption
Chapter 34
It was late morning, the next day, before Stefan was visited again. Actually, although he had hoped to see Laura every moment, he couldn’t say that the alone time was unwanted - he truly needed the rest. He hadn’t been awake longer than ten minutes since Laura had left. And, by late morning the next day, he was starting to think clearly.
An unnamed nurse had just checked his vital stats, taken some blood, and taken him off the respirator, and Stefan was falling back into a nap, when his door opened. He woke to look at it, and saw Alexis step inside. She looked calmer than before; her skirt and blouse were clean and unwrinkled, her makeup applied perfectly, and her hair still smooth. She also looked happier.
“Good morning.” Stefan acknowledged. “I assume you just came back from Mr.
Ashton?”
She laughed, her eyes glowing amber. “What makes you think that?”
He smiled back. “Truly, I am not that unobservant, you know, Alexis. So, to what do I owe the honor of your presence?”
“Well, first of all, Laura left a message with me. She wanted you to know that Leslie Lu came home with the sniffles, yesterday, so that is why she hasn’t been back to see you. She promised, however, to try and visit you sometime soon, possibly before I’ve even left.”
Stefan concentrated on his sister. He knew that wasn’t the only reason she was here, and he wished to know what other reason had brought her to his room. “I do not wish to sound ungrateful, Alexis, because I do enjoy visiting with you. But, is there another specific reason why you’re here?”
She smiled. “How could you tell?”
“I know you better than you think I do.” he paused. “What is it?”
Alexis assumed a business-like air. “Well, we’d all like to know what you were planning on doing. And, the consensus was that, since I’m an attorney as well as your sister, I should ask.”
“About what?”
“Well, first, about Helena.” she paused, and appraised her brother. “Do you still wish to go through with your last plan of leaving the country.”
“I decided to try a different plan; something I can keep going from Port Charles.” he
assured Alexis. “Anything else?”
“Why, yes.” She seemed surprised. “What you planned on doing about Luke?”
“Luke?” Stefan answered, as if uncomprehending.
“Yeah, you know. Luke Spencer. Blond, lanky man. Kind of old, but intriguing in that anti-hero way. Seems to attract blonde women who are, usually, married...” she dead panned. “The person who shot you.” she added, helpfully.
“I know who Luke Spencer is.” Stefan answered.
“I should hope so.” Alexis paused. “Stefan, I know you, too, and I sincerely doubt it hasn’t crossed your mind.”
“Well, actually...” Stefan didn’t finish. “Well, do you plan on giving me legal counsel?”
“My advice?” Alexis responded. “Well, Luke has admitted to the crime, so it isn’t a question of whether or not he did it. He might not hold up the same story in court though, so if you plan on having him arrested for attempted murder, I would suggest proceeding with caution.” she hesitated. “What were you thinking of in particular, >Stefan?”
He shook his head. “You wouldn’t believe me if I told you, Alexis.”
“Try me.”
“Well, it had seriously crossed my mind not to charge him with anything.”
She appeared briefly worried. “You aren’t planning on extracting your own revenge
on him, are you?”
He answered, in truth. “No,”
Alexis stopped, momentarily confused. “You’re right. I don’t believe you.” she told him, finally. “This sounds nothing like you.”
“I’m well aware of that.” he responded, eyes focused on her.
“And, we all know he did it.” Alexis continued. “I don’t understand why you wouldn’t press charges.”
Stefan attempted to explain, hoping his little sister would understand. “I’m seriously trying to, for once, see the problem from someone else’s perspective. Spencer believes that I aided Helena and Mr. Faison in kidnapping and brainwashing Lucky. He let his pain blind him, drank too much, and allowed his anger to get the best of him.” He paused. “I’m not beginning to say I want to be best friends with the man, or anything of the sort, you understand. I still hate him for what he did to Laura, and especially to Nikolas. To our whole family. But, that’s not the case at the moment.”
“I’m still not quite certain what you’re getting at.” Alexis confessed.
Stefan tried once more. “I strove to see it from his perspective, Alexis. If it had been Nikolas; if the same things had happened to Nikolas that had happened to Lucky, and I was under the suspicion that Spencer was the culprit...I can’t promise I would have been any different.”
“Yes, you would’ve.” Alexis answered, certain. “I have never once, in all of our adult lives, seen you drunk. Ever.”
“I exhibit more self-control than he does, yes.” Stefan answered. “And, I’m not in any way, condoning what he does, or did. But, we all make mistakes with our loved ones. And, if it had been Nikolas, I don’t know if I would’ve been any better than he. Besides, if Lucky ever gets past what my mother did to him, he’ll probably want his father around. Laura will, too, I’m certain.”
Alexis could not believe she was hearing this. She appraised him, a moment. “You really hit your head hard on those hard-wood floors at Wyndemere, didn’t you?”
He smiled. “You won’t try to argue with me?”
She shook her head. “Never. I don’t think Luke should get through this without any repercussions...”
“He won’t, I’m certain. I just don’t believe I need to attack him.”
Alexis nodded. “But, what you said about Nikolas sounded rather wise. I won’t argue the point with you.”
“Thank you.”
Alexis smiled. “Your welcome.” she paused, and opened her mouth to speak again.
But, before she did, the closed hospital door opened again, and in came Laura, led by Leslie Lu.
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
Stefan immediately grinned when he saw Lulu enter the room, accompanied by her lovely mother. “Miss Spencer, how kind it is of you to visit me.”
Lulu smiled back at Stefan, her perfect braids beginning to unravel but her eyes still impressibly bright. “Mommy said you weren’t feeling good.”
“Well, as usual, your making me feel a lot better. I’ve missed you, you know.” He answered, earnestly. Leslie Lu paused a moment, biting her lip, and then her face broke out into one of those adorable grins, as she made her way closer to Stefan’s bedside, trying to figure out a way to climb up it.
Meanwhile, Laura and Alexis shared a soft conversation. “He’s really good with children, isn’t he?” Laura commented.
Alexis nodded. “It’s amazing, considering how Helena treated him, but he’s always been great with children. He has this instinct, I guess, to protect people more vulnerable than he is.” he paused, and turned to look at Laura. “Has he told you, yet, what he plans on doing about Luke?”
“I would assume he was going to press charges.”
Alexis shook her head.
“No? Well, he’s not going to try and kill Luke with his bare hands, is he?”
Alexis shook her head. “No, again. Actually, you might have trouble guessing this one.”
Laura’s eyes narrowed, ever so slightly, a slight blinding of that happy light. “What does he want to do?”
“Well, at the moment, nothing.”
“Nothing?”
Alexis nodded. “Maybe you should talk to him about it. I don’t know if I’m allowed to say.” she told her.
Laura nodded. “I will.”
Alexis glanced at her watch. “I have a meeting with a client. Stefan,” she called.
Stefan looked up, at his sister. Leslie Lu had succeeded in making it atop the bed. “Yes?”
“I have to go. You’ll take care, right? No marathon running, or trying to read Crime and Punishment all in one sitting, right?”
Stefan laughed. “I promise to take it easy. You, too. If you see Mr. Ashton, again, tell him I said hello.”
“Of course. I’ll see you later. Bye.”
“Good-bye.” he watched his sister leave the room, and then turned his attention back to Leslie Lu.
“You’ll come to my tea party when you’re out, right?” Lulu asked him, hopefully.
“I wouldn’t miss it.” he assured her.
Laura came closer, and scooped Leslie Lu off of the cot, giving Stefan a kiss on her way. She put Lulu down on the floor. “Will you go be my good girl, and wait right outside the door for a moment? I need to speak with Stefan.” she told her little girl. Lulu nodded, and then walked outside, waving to Stefan before she left.
Laura was left alone with Stefan. He watched her silently, for a moment, sensing her concern. “What is it, Laura? What happened?”
“I’m sorry to sound accusing, but...what is this I hear about you not doing anything against Luke?”
Redemption
Chapter 35
Stefan sighed. He knew that once Laura had heard his decision, she would question his decision. “Laura,” he began.
“I just don’t understand.” Laura told him. “He tried to kill you, Stefan. I would never have forgiven him if he had. And, he almost succeeded. Why wouldn’t you press charges?”
Stefan answered her as earnestly as he had tried to answer Alexis. “Well, for starters, I tried to look at it from his point of view. If the same thing that had been done to Lucky, was done to Nikolas, I couldn’t promise to be the picture of mental health, either. And, while I doubt that I would go so far as getting drunk and shooting at Luke, I couldn’t promise to do anything rationally. I would want the same courtesy from him.”
“But, he wouldn’t give it to you.” she answered.
“Perhaps.” he shrugged. “Besides, that wasn’t all of it.” he continued. “I didn’t want to hurt Lucky any more than he had been hurt by my family. It wouldn’t have been fair to take Luke away, when Lucky gets over what my mother did to him. And, I didn’t wish to take Luke away from you, either.”
She looked over him, tenderly. “I told you, before. I love you. Luke is out of the picture.”
“You say that, and I believe you.” he answered, slowly. “But, Laura, I know you. I know you would never want a life completely without him. I understand that, and I’m finally willing to accept it, as long as I know you love me. And, now, I know.”
Laura didn’t have the words to express her feelings for him, right there, in that hospital room. It didn’t matter. They were finally learning, together.
Index