Tomorrow at 9:05 a.m. EST, the earth's northern axis will point farthest away from the sun. Strictly speaking, winter solstice is really tomorrow and not today. Then again, it's not like I can tell that one day is longer or shorter than the next. All I know is that living through the shortest days of a year can be depressing.
Tomorrow at 9:05 a.m. EST, the earth's southern axis will point closest towards the sun. Strictly speaking, summer solstice in the southern hemisphere is really tomorrow and not today. Then again, it's not like I can tell that one day is longer or shorter than the next, unless, of course, if I go from 42 N to 35 S overnight. All I know is that living through the longest days of a year in a foreign country can be quite exciting.
Exactly four and half years ago - June 20, summer solstice of 1992 (or thereabouts) - I left JFK for Helsinki. It would be the fourth country I had ever set my foot on. Before Finland, I hadn't really ventured out all that much. I passed up on opportunities to spend a summer in England because I feared that I wouldn't know how to live by myself in a foreign country. I actually had trouble deciding whether I should go to Finland for the summer job or go do research at some national lab. I sure am glad now that I chose Helsinki over Argonne National. When I look back, there were defining moments that changed my life in some fundamental way. Finland was one of them. It opened my eyes and my mind. My view of the world was never the same again. I was never the same again. To say only that it brought out the wanderlust in me almost trivializes the whole experience. Tomorrow, I will set my foot on my twenty-sixth country.
Being a natural pessimist, I am usually not a, shall I say, jolly good fellow or happy camper or whatever. But the two summers I spent abroad, in Helsinki and in Singapore, were the happiest times of my life. And I was a jolly good fellow. This is a quality that all my vacation trips lacked. For me, being a tourist on however extended a trip evokes a very different mentality from living and working in a foreign place for even a relatively short period of time. Living and working in a place rather than just visiting it, I see things differently, feel things differently, think things differently, and do things differently. On vacations, no matter how distant I am from home, I cannot seem to escape from the problems and worries of my life back home. They are always in the back of my mind. As I was preparing for South America, I drew up two lists, one for the things I needed to take care of immediately before the trip, and one for the things I needed to take care of immediately after the trip. My after-the-trip list turned out to be longer than my before-the-trip list. I was not very pleased.
Maybe I have mixed up the cause and effect of things. Maybe it's not that living and working abroad frees me from my problems. Maybe it's that I had to be free of problems in order to take off for an extended period to live and work abroad. At the time I went to Finland, I had just finished my undergraduate studies; I was very happy about being accepted to MIT; but I didn't actually have to start working hard at MIT. At the time I went to Singapore, I had just finished my masters; I was very happy that I have found a group for my Ph.D.; but I didn't actually have to start facing the realities of Ph.D. work. These are the good kind of in-between times where the future is clear but I don't have to deal with it, and the past is complete so I can forget about it. I suppose this should be a most wonderful time for anyone. I am glad I made good use of my last two chances. I am a little hopeful that I have one more coming up - finally finish my Ph.D., be happy that I have found a job, but don't yet have to deal with the realities of the job.
If history is any guide, life doesn't follow a script or abide by my wishes.
Nor does any trip.
Life is a trip.