Planning the Wedding

Even before I left on my trip, both Arlyn and I had decided in our own minds that we would get married if possible while I was visiting her. I had already proposed to her by telephone on May 1^st. We had agreed that we would wait until we met in person before committing to marriage to allow either of us the chance to change our minds should things not work out the way that we had planned. Within the first two days after my arrival we were both absolutely convinced that our marriage was meant to be and we started to talk about the wedding itself. To plan the wedding and to obtain the required documentation, Arlyn had to plan ahead and juggle her work schedule and request a day off for a trip to Manila and Porac, another day off for the wedding itself, and a third day off for the day following our wedding.

On Friday, August 1^st, we hired a car and driver from Avis Car Rentals to drive us to Manila so I could obtain a "Certificate of Eligibility to Marry" from the Canadian Embassy (this is required by the Philippine Government). On the return to Angeles we made a detour to the municipal hall in Porac, on the other side of the Pasig River from where Arlyn lives, to apply for the Marriage License. When we applied for the license we were advised that the earliest we could marry was August 11^th because an announcement of our application had to be posted at the Porac Municipal Hall for ten days. We also had to return to Porac on Wednesday August 6^th to deliver copies of my passport photo page and our birth certificates to supplement the application.

Travelling to Porac and other areas around Angeles can be quite an ordeal because the 1991 and 1993 eruptions of Mt. Pinatubo and subsequent flooding of rivers with "lahar" (a mixture of rainwater and volcanic ash and outfall) had severely eroded river banks destroying all bridges and inundated low-lying areas. Many adjacent residential areas, vast agricultural stretches, and roads had been buried under several feet of lahar. Several hundred people perished in the 1991 disaster. Even 6 years later many roads had been only temporarily repaired and were washed out in heavy rains. Only two of the bridges in Angeles had been replaced with permanent structures, while many bridges on nearby highways had been replaced with temporary "bailey bridges".

Roads were basically in poor condition. Porac is approximately 5 miles from the city and on the 1st when the makeshift road over the lahar was passable it took about 1/2 hour to travel the distance by car. When we returned on the 6th the road was washed out and it took about an hour to travel the 20 mile detour through San Fernando. On the way to Porac we passed by residential areas buried under 10 feet of lahar and vast devastated areas of formerly very productive farmland where sugar cane had grown. You could see only a part of the second floor and the roofs of many buildings rising above the lahar. It was an eerie wasteland resembling a desert. This is a photo found on the Internet of homes buried under lahar from the eruption of Mt. Pinatubo .

When we arrived in Porac on the afternoon of the 6^th, they told us that we were supposed to have attended a marriage counseling seminar that morning. They had not informed us of the seminar when we were there five days earlier. The library where the seminar would have been conducted was closed by the time we arrived so Arlyn convinced the officials that we were old enough to know what we are doing and that the seminar was unnecessary. They eventually agreed and told us we could pick up our Marriage License on the afternoon of August 11^th. We could now schedule our wedding ceremony.

We originally planned to marry on the 13^th but everyone said that 13 is an unlucky number. So we changed the date to the 14^th. Then unexpectedly when visiting one of Arlyn's sponsors on the 9^th, Ninang Cecile Nepomuceno advised us that she would be leaving for the USA on the 12^th to attend a wedding so we had to move our wedding to the evening of the 11^th. In order to do this, we would have to pick up the Marriage License sooner than planned. With the date firmly established, we planned our the wedding ceremony and reception that evening after we returned to the hotel.

It appears to be the custom in the Philippines to have many sponsors as the official witnesses at a wedding. Our four sponsors were well-respected elders in the community who had known Arlyn all of her life. Ninang Cecile Nepomuceno's family was one of the founding families of the city, Ninong Zalamea was a doctor and former Vice Mayor. We had decided to hold the wedding at the hotel to minimize planning problems and travelling difficulties. We selected a dinner menu from the restaurant's banquet menu and asked the hotel to order some flowers and a simple wedding cake and set up tables for 40 people beside the outdoor pool. The sponsors were to arrange for someone to perform the ceremony. All of the hotel staff were very excited when they heard that we would be getting married there.

The Wedding

On our wedding day Arlyn's sister Regina and uncle Condring were kind enough to travel in the early morning to Porac to pick up the Marriage License. We hoped they would return in time for the ceremony which was planned for 6 PM. Then in the afternoon we found out that there was a problem to be resolved before we could get married. Apparently there were some more forms for Arlyn to complete. Very few of Arlyn's family had cell phones or telephones at the time so it was rather difficult to keep in touch and to convey important information. Auntie Luding brought us this message in person while we were eating a late lunch at the hotel. So at 4:10 PM (2 hours before the planned start of the ceremony) we struck out with Auntie Luding by jeepney across the city to meet with one of our sponsors, and Arlyn's Mom. When we got to Ninang Cecile Nepomuceno's office, she had already left for the day and Mom had not yet arrived. When Mom did arrive she contacted the sponsor by telephone. Ninang Nepomoceno asked for a copy of the Certificate of Eligibility to Marry which we had submitted with the application for the Marriage License. I had no copies of the Certificate and Mom explained this to her. She also told us the mayor of Angeles City would be performing the ceremony (considered a great honour) but we had to go to the mayor's home at 6 PM for the ceremony as he could not attend the wedding at the hotel due to prior commitments.

We returned to the hotel to dress arriving well after 5 PM and realized that there was insufficient time for us to change and get to Mayor Pamintuan's home by 6 PM. Steve, the photographer had already arrived, a hair dresser arrived to do Arlyn's hair and makeup, and soon guests began arriving. Fortunately our sponsor phoned us as we were dressing and advised that the mayor had agreed to perform the wedding at the hotel at 7 PM.

We finished dressing just before 7:00 PM and joined our guests beside the pool. As we arrived the banquet manager advised that we had around 55 guests. So we ordered more food and more tables were assembled, including a table from which the mayor would perform the ceremony. Within minutes, the mayor arrived and we quickly got down to the business at hand.

The ceremony was very brief, around five minutes. The mayor asked us for the Eligibility Certificate and we explained that the only copy was submitted with the application for the Marriage License. He accepted our word for it and after explaining that we will be marrying for life since divorce is not permitted in the Philippines, at 7:35 PM he said "I now pronounce you husband and wife, you may go to your room and make love".
 

After the ceremony we moved to our tables for the banquet dinner. Little Rowena insisted on sitting with us at our wedding table. After the banquet Steve photographed us opening gifts and then we visited with our guests and posed for more photographs with them. The last duty was for Arlyn to throw her bouquet to her friends. Her friend Margie caught it and advised me that it was my responsibility to find her a Canadian husband. By 10 PM all of the guests had left and Arlyn and I could finally relax and reflect on the fantastic but rather hectic day.
 

The next day Arlyn's cousins took us on a tour of the beautiful Mimosa Golf and Country Club, located on former Clark Air Base, where they work as caddies.
The following few days Arlyn had to work, so we spent as much time as we could alone together. We also visited family and shopped for souvenirs of my trip.

Then on Sunday August 17^th it was already time for me to catch my flight to Vancouver. This broke our hearts since we had only been married for 5 1/2 days, it was too soon to leave! Auntie Luding hired a van and driver and Arlyn, myself, Mom, Regina, Rowena, Aunt Luding, Auntie Oping, Mary Grace, Marilyn's two sons, and Arlyn's friend Merna all piled into the mini van and off we went to Manila and the airport where we exchanged painful and emotional good-byes and shared our dreams for the future.

Arlyn would join me in Canada as soon as possible, but we had only a vague idea of how long this would take, and we did not like the prospects of the long wait of ... six months to a year, maybe longer!

For a summary of the process we went through to be re-united in Canada, see Bringing Arlyn to Canada.
 

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