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WOW Episode #30F
Ohhhhhhhhhh...WOW!
[Title sequence]
Cut to David McLane and Lee Marshall at the announcers' table.
McLane: Welcome to WOW - Women of Wrestling! I'm David McLane, and this
is my co-host Lee Marshall. Lee, today's episode could very well feature a historic
match.
Marshall: No doubt, David. Two of WOW's most accomplished technical wrestlers
-- Jungle Grrrl and Selina Majors -- are set to square off today. And the winner
gets a very special prize: a little thing we like to call the WOW World Championship
belt. Selina currently has it. Jungle Grrrl has wanted it very, very badly for
a very, very long time.
McLane: You're absolutely right, Lee. Jungle Grrrl was actually the first
challenger to the WOW World Title. After Terri Gold won the big Battle Royal
and became the original World Title holder, Jungle Grrrl was te first opponent
she faced. Although Jungle Grrrl had previously beaten Terri, she was not able
to repeat the feat when the belt was on the line. And I know that that has galled
her ever since.
Marshall: Well, if that was a setback, Jungle Grrrl took it the right
way -- by working that much harder in the ring. She is undefeated ever since
that loss to Terri Gold in the title match. That includes wins over outstanding
competitors such as Roxy Powers and Beckie the Farmer's Daughter. And that unparalled
record is why Acting Commissioner Danger -- very properly, in my view -- named
Jungle Grrrl the #1 contender to the title and set up this match.
McLane: Jungle Grrrl wants that belt so much, I don't think she needs
any further motivation. However, if she did, Selina Majors provided it with
some disparaging remarks about her challenger.
[Replay Selina's interview from show #29.]
Marshall: Not at all a smart move in my opinion, David. Why you would
want to make Jungle Grrrl even more angry, I have no idea.
McLane: I agree, I can only see it working to Selina Majors' disadvantage...
I certainly don't see Jungle Grrrl being "psyched out" by something
someone said in an interview. She is all about action... not words. But I suppose
we'll find out later in this program just who came to play and who didn't. And
that's not all we have lined up for you fans out there today. You'll also see
the team of Air Force -- Beckie the Farmer's Daughter and Terri Gold -- take
on the Daughters of Darkness.
Marshall: David, Terri Gold is all about settling scores right now. At
Spring Vengeance, Selina Majors beat Terri for the WOW World title... with help
from Caged Heat. Two weeks ago, the new Air Force tag team made a name for themselves
by beating the Heat, albeit in a non-title match. This week, Air Force will
face the Daughters of Darkness, Mystery and Misery. And don't think for a second
that Terri has forgotten that Mystery literally stole her title belt a few months
back, because she certainly has not.
McLane: I'm sure you're right, David. And tonight, we'll also see Sandy
of the Beach Patrol take on Jacklyn Hyde. But now, let's go to ringside for
the introductions as Slam Dunk faces Patti Pep.
Slam gets on the mic after the match.
Slam: All right, this isn't funny anymore. You're gonna send out cheerleaders to take on Slam Dunk? I mean, not even role players... the little prissy girls in litlte skirts who sit on the sidelines and go "yay"? Commissioner Danger, it's obvious that you don't understand what Slam Dunk is all about. I've beaten two girls at once! I have never been pinned in the middle of this ring! I am the Franchise Player in this federation, and you better recognize, Danger. I know you're management now, Danger, and management has never liked Slam Dunk. But this crowd knows what's up. [crowd boos; Slam ignores it] They know that I'm the Human Highlight Film right here in this ring. Danger, you better start seeing what is right in front of your face... or should I say, over your head? You gotta be the tallest vertically challenged hater in history. And... I'm out.
[EnerX commercial]
Cut to Summer and Sandy's locker room. Summer is wincing, still in pain from the Law & Order beatdown she was administered in show #28.
Sandy: Gee, Summer, I'm really worried about this match. I'm
just not sure what that Jacklyn Hyde is gonna do out there.
Summer (dismissively): Take care of yourself.
Sandy (very hurt): "Take care of yourself"?
Summer: Yup.
Sandy (hurt): So... you're not coming out there with me? After
all I've done for you... and all the support I've given you... and all the things
we've accomplished together?
Summer just gives Sandy a dirty look that says it all. An emotional Sandy laces up her boots and leaves for the match.
Cut to the ring entrances. Jacklyn Hyde, in honor of Sandy, has switched to a black-and-white one-piece bathing suit, and mocks Sandy's mannerisms (running, butt-bumping) as she enters.
A crazed Jacklyn refuses to let Sandy out of the Straitjacket hold. Dr. Sarah Bellum and Nurse Mercy try and fail to pull her off the lifeguard. Refs rush the ring and finally drag the screaming Jacklyn off.
McLane: Yikes! Jacklyn seemed to flip a switch at the end of that bout...
a transformation to the "Hyde" personality, I suppose. And although
that turnabout came just in time to win her the match, she didn't seem to be
able to stop at just that.
Marshall: Well, David, as you saw, Jacklyn debuted a new move to finish
that match, the Straitjacket. She chokes her opponent with their own arms. It's
a good addition to her arsenal... it gives her a submission finisher... but
jeez! You never like to see the type of thing we witnessed just now.
McLane: Well, we know Jacklyn is not in control of her own actions. So
it wouldn't really be fair to blame her for that display we just saw. I just
hope poor Sandy is okay.
Cut back to Summer's locker room. Summer is watching these events on closed circuit TV. California Wendi (wearing her WOW Unleashed T-shirt & jeans outfit, as has become usual) enters.
Summer (startled): Oh... Wendi. Hi.
Wendi: Hi there, Summer. You've seemed down lately. I was just wondering
what's up. [Summer doesn't answer] It can't be what just happened to
Sandy, can it?
Summer: No, it's not that.
Wendi: I didn't think so. After all, I'm sure she's not hurt nearly as
bad as you were after she abandoned you to deal with Law & Order by yourself.
[Summer seems impressed and is listening more closely now.] Or, for that matter,
when Phantom locked you in that Sharpshooter? Remember that?
[Replay the Summer-Phantom match of show #6. Phantom got Summer in the Sharpshooter and refused to let go. Sandy came in to make the save... and also got put in the Sharpshooter. Wendi Wheels came out and rescued both Beach Patrol members by delivering the Blowout to Phantom.]
Summer: Yeah, of course I remember. You saved us both that night.
Wendi: Yup. And Summer, I would love to do it again. If you team up with
me and the Star Stable, you'll never have to worry about being hurt again. I
promise you that. [much more threateningly] But if you're against me
and the Star Stable... well, then no one's going to be able to protect
you. Certainly not that bimbo Sandy. (pause; both exchange significant looks)
So, what do you think?
Summer: Wendi, what you're saying makes a lot of sense. I'm tired of
being the whipping girl around here. And I know you're strong enough to deliver
on everything you just said. I'd love to join the Star Stable.
Wendi smiles, and the two hug.
[Hooked on Phonics commercial]
We see a pink door with a big star... this of course is the entrance to Lana Star's room. Ice Cold enters and starts knocking frantically on the door, screaming to be let in. The door opens, and Lana answers the knocking.
Lana: Oh... Ice Cold. I just... can't even say how thrilled I am to
see you right now.
Ice: Where's Poison??? Where is she?? Let me at her!!
Lana: Well, since you asked so nicely and you're not a bald, screaming
psycho or anything... come right in.
Ice steps in, and is immediately flattened by a clothesline from Jane Blond. We see Lana, Poison, and Jaded looking on with amused expressions. Lana's involuntary personal assistant Bronco Billie is also there, and is disturbed by the scene. Jane tosses Ice into the walls and generally beats the stuffing out of her. But Ice continues to scream at Poison.
Ice: What are you, scared to face me, Poison! Jane Blond has to do your dirty work for ya, huh! You're a wimp, Poison! When are you gonna face me one on one! What are you scared of!
Poison comes up to Ice and flings an arm around her shoulders, as if in friendship. She then turns Ice's head to face her, and spits venom at her. Ice screams in agony and rolls on the floor. After a bit of this:
Lana: Okay, scream scream scream, we get the point... this is getting juuuust a little boring.
Lana then cracks a mirror over Ice's head, knocking her out. Lana, Jane, Poison, and Jaded roll the unconscious Ice out the door and into the hallway.
Cut to ringside. Air Force is introduced. They come to the ring, accompanied by Roxy Powers and Tanja, Warrior Woman. Terri Gold gets on the mic.
Terri: Mystery, after you stole my belt, I showed you what was up....
I gave you the title match you wanted... I pinned you to the mat... and while
I was at it, I I knocked the Goon down and took back my property. Ever since
that day, Mystery, you've done nothing but lose. But I'm still not done with
you yet. Beckie and I are going to push you and Misery even further down the
ladder than you already are. And Caged Heat and Selina Majors... I hope you're
watching, because you're next.
Roxy: That's right, Caged Heat. Last week, I took out your big, bad enforcer
Vendetta. I took her out with the Powerkick, and believe me, after that, she
didn't know what time it was. I don't even think she knew what year it was!
Now Selina Majors, I want you next. No one messes with my girls Tanja,
Terri, and Beckie and gets away with it. And here come the Daughters of Weakness
to prove it.
The ever-silent Daughters of Darkness (accompanied by the Goon) make their entrance, and the bell rings.
Terri seems to be considering unmasking Mystery. But Beckie rushes to Terri's side and makes it clear by body language that she shouldn't. Terri, seemingly a little reluctantly, steps back from Mystery, and raises Beckie's hand in triumph.
[Benny Hill commercial]
McLane: And now, the match we've all been waiting for... Selina Majors
is about to make her first defense of the WOW World Championship. And it will
be against a truly formidable challenger, Jungle Grrrl.
Loca seems to be contemplating an attack after the bell on Jungle Grrrl. But JG gives her a quick, catlike feint, and Loca scampers off. Jungle Grrrl is given the belt by the ref and holds it triumphantly -- almost businesslike -- over her head in a power pose.
McLane: WOW has a new champion, and it's Jungle Grrrl. And something tells me that she might rule the roost for a long, long time. Fans, tune in next week for more WOW - Women of Wrestling action!
[Sponsored by the Invention Submission Corporation, Tootsie candies, and the Invention Submission Corporation]
WOWF Federation File (goes in main ZeusPro directory)
Moves List (goes in "moves" directory)
Lee Marshall Commentary File (goes in "commentary" directory)
David McLane Commentary File (goes in "commentary" directory)