Matches in WOWF are simmed with ZeusPro.
WOW Episode #40F
Ohhhhh... WOW!
[Title sequence, etc.]
Cut to David McLane and Lee Marshall at the announcers' desk.
McLane: Hello, and welcome to WOW -- Women of Wrestling! I'm David McLane,
and this is my co-host Lee Marshall. And Lee, I have only one word for tonight's
card -- "loaded."
Marshall: Indeed, David. We try to bring you a good variety of quality
matches every week, of course, but tonight should really be something special
from top to bottom. We kick things off with a hardcore match pitting Jacklyn
Hyde against Thug. Now, these are two women who each take a licking and keep
on ticking. I don't know which one of them is tougher.
McLane: Jacklyn has an incredible pain threshold. We've seen her thrown
off a cage twice in one match [footage is shown]. But at least Jacklyn has the
excuse of being... a little off in the head. I don't know what Thug's excuse
is, but she lives to brawl. Thug was WOW's first ever hardcore champion, and
she likes nothing more than to draw a little blood.
Marshall: Jacklyn's mood fluctuates quite a bit, David. Lately, in her
last two matches, we have seen her go to her hardcore ways in non-hardcore matches
against Slam Dunk and Roxy Powers... Jacklyn brought out the foreign objects,
and yet she lost both times. She may be due for an explosion... but the question
with her is always whether she can focus her aggression. Thug, who is a legendary
veteran in this business, is certainly not going to lose her composure.
McLane: And after that confrontation, Lee, we'll proceed to the two TV
Title Tournament semifinal matches. Here are the brackets of the Tournament
following the first round.
McLane: So as you can see, in tonight's semifinals, Jaded faces Jeannie
Kim, and The Disciplinarian takes on Boom Boom.
Marshall: That match between Jaded and Jeannie Kim is certainly an intriguing
one, David. Back when Jaded was "Jade", and Jeannie Kim was "Lotus",
the two were partners in the Asian Invasion tag team. They did once have a match,
which Lotus won... and which perhaps was the turning point for both of their
careers. Anyway, Jeannie won back then, but we've seen Jaded improve immensely
since that time. Jaded has shown us a wide variety of martial arts moves, and
has developed a new finisher -- the Green Sword of Destiny -- that can make
an opponent scream for mercy. And of course, you can't rule out the possibility
of interference by Jaded's pals in the Star Stable.
McLane: It should definitely be hard fought, Lee. And by the end of the
night, we will know who the combatants in the first ever TV Title match will
be. But we've saved the best for last, fans. Tonight's main event is a three-way
elimination World Title match between three amazing athletes... Terri Gold,
the two-time World champion and former Tag Team champion... Riot, the one-woman
wrecking crew who has overcome innumerable challenges by Acting Commissioner
Danger to get to this point... and of course, the reigning World champion, Jungle
Grrrl.
Marshall: This is the type of dream match that fans argue about endlessly,
and clamor for us to give them. Well, now we'll all get to see it in real life.
I couldn't be more excited. Now David, note that this match is being held under
elimination rules. In other words, the first fall will not determine the winner.
The first fall merely eliminates one of the wrestlers... the remaining two wrestlers
then battle for a second fall to determine the champion.
McLane: What an opportunity this is for Riot, Lee. Despite dominating
the federation since it first began, this will be Riot's first ever shot at
a title belt. I spoke to her just a little while ago about her match tonight.
Cut to pre-taped McLane-Riot interview.
McLane: Riot, how do you feel about Acting Commissioner Danger's addition
of Terri Gold to your World title match with Jungle Grrrl, making it a three-way
elimination bout?
Riot: Take a guess, McLane... I'm not too pleased. But it's nothing we haven't
seen before. Danger has dug up every loophole in the book to try to keep me
away from the World Title. I've fought handicap matches... no-DQ matches...
Falls Count Anywhere matches... humiliating "poolside battle royale"
matches... "Lion's Den" matches... you name the gimmick, and Danger
has thrown it at me. But the same thing is going to happen tonight that happened
all of those other times. And I think everyone here knows why that is... because
no matter what obstacles anyone in this world tries to place in my way... they
will learn... NOTHING CAN STOP THE RIOT! I feel it in my bones tonight, McLane...
I feel it throughout every part of my body... how it feels to be a champion.
I wish I could explain to you how it feels. I can't wait to wake up every day
and feel that way... starting tomorrow.
Back to McLane and Marshall.
McLane: So Riot seems very excited and very confident heading into tonight's main event. Let's get things started with some hard-hitting action.... Jacklyn Hyde versus Thug in a hardcore match.
Jacklyn comes to the ring dressed in biker gear and chugging a beer. An angered Thug attacks her before the bell even rings.
McLane: I can't believe it, Lee! What an incredible upset! Jacklyn Hyde
has defeated the former Hardcore champion, Thug!
Marshall: I'm actually not that surprised, Lee. Jacklyn has definitely
shown a lot of aggression lately, and I think it just all boiled over tonight.
But it is a big win for her, no doubt. And I gotta tell ya, there
may be more accomplished technical wrestlers in this company, but I'm not sure
there's anyone I'd like to face less than Jacklyn.
McLane: Wow. Well, perhaps Jacklyn has finally found her niche in the Hardcore
division, where everything is legal. Fans, we'll be back in just a moment.
[EnerX commercial]
Cut to the Star Stable dressing room. The Stable members -- Lana Star, Bronco Billie, Jane Blond, Jaded, Caliente, California Wendi, and California Bobbi -- are assembled.
Lana: Okay, gals... I can't lie to you... this is a totally non-non-non-non-non-NON-heinous
situation.
Wendi and Bobbi (to each other): Huh??
Lana: I mean, this is just completely Gag Central.
Wendi and Bobbi (to each other): Ohhh!
Lana: First, Danger -- who by the way looks more like a car mechanic
than a real wrestler -- a real wrestler looks like us... [The Stable
members nod in agreement] ... anyway, Danger steals my precious Star Stable
belt from right off my dresser and changes it to the TV title. Then, she schedules
matches for us and doesn't even tell us about them. Man... I wish I could get
my hands on Danger. Just the other day, I was gonna beat the hell out of her...
but I didn't cuz I felt sorry for her. I still could, though. Just to make that
clear.
Billie: You sure could, Lana!
Lana: Then Caliente loses to the Disciplinarian. Caliente, what were
you thinking??? [Caliente looks ashamed.] Next time, hit her with a trash can
or something. Jeez, I mean, she's got a ruler right there, for one thing.
Caliente: Okay.
Lana: You're new, so we'll let that one slide. And worst of all, we were
only able to get a few minutes of our movie done because that stupid director
kept making us do everything over like a million kajillion times. Why do you
need to do it more than once, anyway. (sighs) So.... now it's all up to you,
Jaded. You're the only woman we've got left in this TV tournament. You've gotta
go out there and win us that belt back. It's our property! It's the only belt
we've got right now! The entire Star Stable is counting on you!
Jaded: Believe me, Lana... I'm not coming out of that match a loser.
Cut to ringside for the Disciplinarian-Boom Boom match.
Disciplinarian-Boom Boom match
Marshall: That was quite a match, David! I must admit that Boom Boom
has never shown quite that much in a match. She had some very crisply executed
power moves and really pushed the Disciplinarian to her limits. Ultimately,
Ms. D came out on top, but there's no shame in the way Boom Boom performed tonight.
McLane: I totally agree, Lee... these two women both really rose to the
occasion. But the Disciplinarian gets the pin, and advances to the finals of
the TV Tournament. Will her opponent in those finals be Jeannie Kim... or will
it be Jeannie's former tag team partner, Jaded? We'll find out after this commercial
break.
Cut to pre-taped McLane-Terri Gold interview. Selina Majors stands beside Terri and punctuates her remarks with the occasional expression of support.
McLane: Terri, what are your feelings about tonight's match, where you
have an opportunity to win the WOW World title for a third time?
Terri: David, when I go out there tonight, I'll be thinking of the fans.
The fans, of course, don't understand what it's like to be a champion one second,
and then to have it snatched away. It hurts, David! It hurt me deep inside!
Selina understands that... and she's the only one in this building who does.
Your average lunchbag-packing, beer-swilling schmuck that somehow wanders off
the street and finds their way in here... they don't understand the heartbreak
of a fallen champion. All of that goes completely over the fans' heads... but
they do know that Terri Gold is their hero... they do know that
Terri Gold is the only woman ever to repeat as WOW World Title holder... they
do know that Terri Gold is the only woman ever to win two different
WOW title belts. And McLane... they know that Terri Gold is a champion,
and so she deserves that World Title. So tonight, I'm going to bring joy to
those who need it the most... these sad sacks who need a hero to bring meaning
to their lives... and that hero is me. I hope they appreciate what I'm doing
for them. (condescendingly) I think they do.
[Benny Hill commercial]
Cut to ringside for the Jeannie Kim-Jaded TV Title semifinal match. Jaded is introduced first and grabs the mic.
Jaded: I've got an unusual request. I want you guys back in the truck to show the people the last time I fought Jeannie... the match I lost. Put it on WOWVision.
WOWVision obediently replays the end of the Jade-Lotus match from show #23F. Lotus hits Jade with a neck breaker and covers her for the pin. Lotus tries to shake hands with Jade, but a very emotional Jade runs off.
Jaded: That was a long time ago, Jeannie... or should I say Lotus. Now we're two totally different people. You were so devastated by our breakup that you took a long vacation from WOW. (sarcastically) Poor baby. And while you were drinking away your sorrows, or playing with dolls... or whatever you were doing... I was focusing on my wrestling... practicing my martial arts skills... becoming stronger... faster... deadlier. And one of the things motivating me all along was this day. I'm not going to suffer the same humiliation twice, Jeannie. Tonight... you'll feel what it's like to be Jaded.
A determined-looking Jeannie Kim makes her entrance, and the match begins.
McLane: Jeez... well... like her or not -- and I don't -- Jaded backed
up her words here tonight. That was the most focused I have ever seen her. She
put Jeannie through all sorts of hurtin'.
Marshall: Jaded has really learned to compensate for her relatively small
size by developing tenaciousness and a wide variety of unusual maneuvers. You
see how she never let Jeannie rest for a second just now, and she showed off
a whole catalogue of moves. It's going to be one hell of a match between Jaded
and the Disciplinarian -- who is a nationally ranked martial artist herself
-- for the WOW TV Title next week. I can't wait.
Cut to pre-taped McLane-Jungle Grrrl interview.
McLane: Jungle Grrrl, as you obviously know, Acting Commissioner Danger
has added Terri Gold into your scheduled title defense against Riot, making
it a three-way elimination match. How do you feel about that?
JG (smiling wickedly): Great.
McLane: Will this change in format cause you to alter your strategy?
JG: Yes.
McLane: Ummm... can you tell us how, exactly?
JG: No.
McLane: Don't want to give away your secrets, huh?
JG gives McLane a "damn, you're an idiot" stare, and McLane slowly backs away.
[Hooked on Phonics commercial]
Cut to ringside for the introductions.
Terri/Riot/JG match (World Title)
At this point, Terri Irish whips Riot into the referee. The ref sails over
the top rope and is knocked out; Riot is sprawled in the corner, dazed. JG tries
to drag Riot into the middle of the ring and get the pin. Meanwhile, Terri scampers
out of the ring and grabs a sledgehammer. She scampers back in and clocks JG
right on the back of the head with the sledge. JG falls straight down, knocked
completely unconscious. Terri rolls JG over and hooks the leg. A new ref runs
in and counts the pin... 1... 2... 3! The reigning champion, Jungle Grrrl, is
eliminated! Terri shakes hands with the surprised ref, and then... KICK! WHAM!
STUNNER! Ref #2 is out. Terri grabs the sledgehammer again and turns to Riot...
but Riot is recovered by this point, and smiling, gives Terri a "just bring
it" motion with both hands. Terri swings with the sledge... but Riot grabs
it in midair and wrests it away from her. The crowd urges Riot to get medieval
with the sledge... but Riot tosses it into the corner. Bodyslam! Waistlock suplex!
Bodyslam! POWERBOMB! Riot makes the cover and looks around anxiously for a ref.
Ref #1 crawls back into the ring. 1... 2... 3!
McLane: Oh, my! Riot is the World Champion! Riot is the World Champion! After perhaps the most difficult road to the top that any wrestler has had to face... Riot is finally the World Champion!
The crowd is ecstatic.
Cut to Acting Commissioner Danger's office. Danger, oddly, is smiling broadly. She writes something down on a piece of paper, folds it into an envelope, and puts the envelope in a desk drawer. Then she puts her feet up on her desk and nods to herself, obviously very pleased about something and still smiling. Fade out.
[Sponsored by the Invention Submission Corporation, Tootsie candies, and the Invention Submission Corporation]
WOWF Federation File (goes in main ZeusPro directory)
Moves List (goes in "moves" directory)
Lee Marshall Commentary File (goes in "commentary" directory)
David McLane Commentary File (goes in "commentary" directory)
Bobby "The Brain" Heenan Commentary File (goes in "commentary" directory)
An excellent ZeusPro resources page