Matches in WOWF are simmed with ZeusPro.
WOW Episode #41F
We open on Acting Commissioner Danger, who is doing her usual paperwork when Terri Gold enters and speaks angrily.
Terri: Danger, you're not gonna seriously let Riot win the World Title
like that, are you?
Danger (sarcastically): Oh, hi, Terri, I'm fine, thanks. How are you?...
I thought you were supposed to be polite. (beat) Anyway, I don't see how there's
much I can do about Riot winning that match.
Terri: Sure you can! At 3:24 of that match, Riot hit me with a closed
fist! That's blatantly illegal!
Danger: Umm, Terri, you were running around the ring hitting people
with a sledgehammer. Not to mention that you attacked a referee.
Terri (acting totally shocked): What?!?
Danger (sighing): Oh, come on, Terri. Don't play stupid.
Terri (acting confused): No, really, I have no idea what you're talking
about.
Danger: Oh, for Pete's sake... (rolls out a TV and VCR and puts in and
plays a tape) See? First you hit Jungle Grrl with the sledgehammer... then you
knocked out the ref... then you tried to hit Riot with the sledgehammer.
Terri: I dunno what happened to that ref. He just fell down. He must
have some sort of medical condition. Don't you have these people checked regularly
by reputable physicians? I don't see this "sledgehammer" you're talking
about, either. You might want to get your eyes checked yourself. Dammit, I thought
this organization cared about its employees' health first and foremost. I'm
ashamed. Really.
Danger: Terri, you're wasting my time. If you don't mind, I have things
I have to do right now.
Terri: Fine... I'll walk right out of here... and go straight to McLane.
He'll listen to me.
Danger: You'll do no such thing, Terri.
Terri: Aha... but you know I'm right... McLane will give me whatever
I want. He knows that Terri Gold is the only woman here who can properly represent
this organization as a champion... who deserves to wear gold!
Danger: You want to be a champion, huh? How about a Falls Count Anywhere
match against Ice Cold for the Intercontinental Title?
Terri (uncertainly at first): Ummm... sounds great! Let's do it.
Danger: Let's do it, indeed. I hope that psycho breaks you into about
a million pieces. Now please... I'm begging you... get out of my sight.
Terri (chirpily): Thanks, Commish!
Danger rolls her eyes.
Ohhhhh... WOW!
[Title sequence, etc.]
Cut to David McLane and Lee Marshall at the announcers' desk.
McLane: Hello, and welcome to WOW - Women of Wrestling! I'm David McLane,
and this is my co-host, Lee Marshall. And Lee, WOW now has a new World Champion.
Riot took that title last week, in what just might have been our wildest and
most memorable match ever... a three-way brawl in which she defeated both two-time
champion Terri Gold, and the reigning champion at the time, Jungle Grrrl.
Marshall: You have to give Riot all the credit in the world, David. She
went into a match with perhaps the two most amazing performers in this entire
federation, and she was the last woman standing. And that's just the latest
in a long list of situations in which Riot has defied the odds and proven that
she is, in fact, the best. I do feel sorry for Jungle Grrrl, though. She was
not fairly beaten.
McLane: Indeed. Jungle Grrrl was only eliminated because of Terri Gold's
totally illegal antics with a sledgehammer. I can't remember the last time Jungle
Grrrl was beaten fairly, to be honest... she is that good. Last week was certainly
not it. And for her part, Terri seems to be beyond all hope now, Lee.
Marshall: She's made it quite clear, David... losing the World Title
has caused Terri Gold to snap. Now she has aligned with Selina Majors. Ironically
enough, Selina is the woman who cost Terri the title to begin with. She beat
Terri at our Spring Vengeance pay-per-view event, thanks to the aid of Caged
Heat. But now the sides have shifted, and Terri has found that Selina is the
only woman in WOW who has the same bitterness and vindictiveness about losing
the title that she does. Terri says that Selina "understands her pain."
Please! Both those women just can't accept that there are other wrestlers out
there who are equally deserving of attention and accolades. That's all there
is to it.
McLane: Lee, speaking of pay-per-view events like you were just recently...
we have our "Hard Knocks" event coming up soon, on August 26. We can
only assume that Riot will be defending her newly won WOW World Title at that
event. We don't know if that will be against Terri... Jungle Grrrl... or perhaps
some other competition.
Marshall: Selina, perhaps?
McLane: Who knows. We have to wait for our Acting Commissioner, Danger,
to set that match, and she has not done that yet. But fans, you don't have to
wait until then to see title matches... because we'll be putting not one, but
two, belts on the line tonight! Jacklyn Hyde is going to face Tanja, Warrior
Woman for the Hardcore Title. And in tonight's main event, Jaded and The Disciplinarian
will battle for a place in history. The winner of their match will be the first
ever WOW Television Champion.
Marshall (as the TV Title Tournament brackets
are shown): We can see here how it's come down to this, David. The TV Title
belt was actually originally supposed to be the "Star Stable" belt.
Thankfully, Danger spared us from having to see that. It's a very nice belt,
though... as we know, Lana lives extravagantly. In any event, Danger quickly
set up this tournament to determine the first TV Title holder. Jaded beat Hammerin'
Heather Steele, and then whupped her former partner, Jeannie Kim. Disciplinarian
beat Star Stable member Caliente, and then Boom Boom. Now, by Danger's rules
-- which, as you know, are now WOW's rules -- the TV Title belt can only
change hands on free television. And that will happen for the first time tonight!
McLane: Very exciting, Lee. Both Jaded and The Disciplinarian are accomplished
martial artists. It should be a very fun -- and very hard-fought -- battle.
And as I said earlier, Jacklyn Hyde is going to try to take the Hardcore Title
from Tanja tonight. What's your take on that matchup?
Marshall: Jacklyn has had some excellent efforts recently. But I think
it was her win last week over Thug that really put her in a position to get
this title shot against Tanja.
McLane: I spoke to Jacklyn prior to today's show about the match, and
about the enigma of her personality. Let's roll that, if we can.
Cut to pre-taped McLane-Jacklyn Hyde interview, at the sanitarium. Jacklyn is strapped down in bed. Dr. Sarah Bellum and Nurse Mercy stand by at her bedside.
McLane: Jacklyn, how have you been feeling lately?
Jacklyn: Not that well, McLane.
McLane: Yeah... honestly, it's kind of showed in your matches recently.
You've been showing your opponents less mercy than ever. And it's working...
you even beat the former Hardcore champion Thug in a hardcore match. Do you
consciously try to channel that energy... that anger... and use it in your matches?
Jacklyn (reflectively): No, I don't, McLane... I don't at all. In fact,
these matches you're talking about... I don't remember them so well. I remember
being introduced... and then I end up back here... everything in between is
kind of... fuzzy. (beat) I have nightmares, McLane. Bad ones. So many that I
wonder whether I only have them at night... or whether I'm having them during
the day too. I look in the mirror, and there's someone behind me with my face
and my body... they've got this look on their face that is just pure evil...
I turn around... but they're not there. I turn around again to face the mirror,
and they're back... killing my reflection... ripping it to shreds. Or, a young
girl in a white dress is sitting in a quiet green field, pulling apart bugs...
pulling off their wings... sticking them with pins... disassembling their bodies...
(beat) Do you think that has anything to do with my matches? What's your expert
opinion?
McLane (shaken): I honestly couldn't say, Jacklyn... ummm.... where was
I... ummm.... do you think...
Jacklyn (interrupting): I really don't want to talk to you any more,
McLane. (turns away from him)
Back to McLane and Marshall.
McLane: Very disturbing stuff, Lee... and it must be very disturbing indeed to face a person like that in a match where literally anything goes... as Tanja is about to do later in this program. But right now, we've got a match between Hammerin' Heather Steele and Paradise for you.
[EnerX commercial]
McLane is welcoming us back from the break when... whoop, whoop... pyro... water spit... Acting Commissioner Danger (with paper, without crutch) makes her way to the ring.
Danger: I've got some important things to say tonight... I'll try to keep it as brief as I can. First off, I've set an Intercontinental Title match as next week's main event. Ice Cold will be defending her title against Terri Gold, under "Falls Count Anywhere" rules. [The announcers briefly put this match over] The next thing I have to say is going to be difficult. I've tried to be as fair as I can as your Commissioner, and to provide you with entertaining matches. I think I've shown that Danger's rules are the best rules... and that WOW is at its best when it's Danger's house. But even good things come to an end. In a few moments, I will be stepping down as Acting Commissioner of WOW. You might be wondering why anyone would quit such a sweet job. Well, simply put, the reason is because I don't think it's appropriate for anyone to serve as the Commissioner when they're an active wrestler. (beat) Because I'm finally healed from my knee injury... I'm willing, able, and ready to wrestle... and before I do step down as your Commissioner, I have one last match to set. At Hard Knocks, on August 26... it will be Danger, against Riot, in a streetfight, for the WOW World Title. See you all there, and thanks for supporting me as Commissioner.
Danger gives McLane the sheet of paper and walks off. We focus on the sheet of paper, which indeed says "1. Riot's next WOW World Title match is a one-on-one streetfight against me at Hard Knocks. 2. I resign as Commissioner. - Danger"
McLane: What a bombshell Danger has just dropped on us, Lee! She has
stepped down as Commissioner... Terri Gold will be facing Ice Cold next week
for the Intercontinental Title... and on August 26... Danger will return to
active competition in a streetfight against Riot for the World Title!! Lee,
is this a good idea on Danger's part? Danger hasn't wrestled in six months now...
that's a helluva match to make your return in. Plus, since Riot is a brawler
who grew up on the unforgiving streets of Chicago, it would seem that these
rules would actually favor Riot.
Marshall: With all due respect, David, I think it's pretty obvious why Danger
would set those rules -- or should I say, lack of rules -- for the match. Danger
wants to hurt Riot. Badly. Riot almost ended Danger's career with a knee injury,
and Danger would probably love to return the favor.
McLane: And for her part, Riot has long felt that Danger abused the Commissioner's
power to keep her down. Good Lord... there has never been more on the line in
a WOW World Title match then there will be when Riot faces Danger at Hard Knocks
on August 26. That is going to be a conflagration. Well, I'm pretty overwhelmed
already, Lee... but we have still have so much left in tonight's program! In
a moment, our WOW Tag Team Champions, Caged Heat, will be taking on Genies in
a Bottle -- Jeannie Kim, and Farah -- in a non-title match.
Marshall: David, Caged Heat has dominated the tag team scene so thoroughly
that there is no clear #1 contender right now. It was Law & Order previously,
but the Heat beat them fair and square. Genies in a Bottle can make a compelling
case for a title shot if they score the win here.
McLane: It would be quite the upset, Lee. Let's see what happens.
The ref holds a bewildered Jeannie's hand up in triumph. Law & Order quickly knock down both Jeannie and Farah. Caged Heat and L&O begin to battle. More refs rush the ring. Caged Heat immediately backs off... but Law & Order now attack the refs. Eventually, the mess is straightened out and Law & Order are led off, yelling at the Heat.
[Benny Hill commercial]
Cut to a meeting between Beckie the Farmer's Daughter, Roxy Powers, and Tanja.
Roxy: Listen... I know Terri Gold did and said a lot of things that
hurt us all. But we can't let that witch break up the good thing we've got here.
We're all still friends... and we're all still the best WOW has to offer...
remember that. Tanja, you've gotta prove tonight that Terri Gold can't make
us fold up our tent and go home. You've gotta beat Jacklyn Hyde, and defend
that Hardcore Title.
Tanja: I will, Roxy. A warrior woman doesn't give up. Jacklyn
doesn't either... but I can outlast her. Anyone who doubts the three of us is
gonna be proven wrong.
Beckie (still emotional): I just wish we could have helped out poor Bronco
Billie. But I guess it's too late now. Those [bleep]s in the Star Stable have
already gotten to her. [Roxy and Tanja exchange glances at Beckie's uncharacteristically
harsh language]
Cut to ringside for the Hardcore Title defense.
Jacklyn-Tanja match (Hardcore Title)
McLane: Very good match there, Lee. Jacklyn is a fierce competitor, to put it politely, and she should be in the Hardcore title hunt for a long time. But Tanja is really coming into her own as the Hardcore champion. It'll be very hard to knock her off that perch.
Cut to backstage, where Beckie is sitting by herself disconsolately. Jane Blond (in new red catsuit, to match the color scheme of the other Stable members) enters and begins gloating.
Jane: Poor dear. Shall I get you a handkerchief? Or would you
prefer to use a soiled pair of overalls, perhaps?
Beckie: Leave me alone.
Jane: You should see Bronco Billie busily working away as Lana Star's
personal assistant. You'd be so happy for her. She has integrated so well into
our little stable. She'll be a star now. While you will continue to be a dirty,
grimy, ill-bred piece of nothing. But I'm sure you only have in mind what's
best for Billie, of course...
Beckie (very angry): I don't have to sit here and take this from
you! You better start running right now, and hope I never see you again... or
it'll be your hide!
Jane (chuckling): How thoroughly uncivilized. Perhaps we should
settle this in the squared circle instead?
Beckie: You're on, Jane!
A smirking Jane nods and walks off, while Beckie fumes.
[Hooked on Phonics commercial]
Cut to ringside for the TV Title match.
Jaded-Disciplinarian match (TV Title)
Disciplinarian exits with the belt held high, as Caliente and Jaded yell at each other.
McLane: And the Disciplinarian is the beneficiary of a lesson on fair
play... after Caliente's interference backfires, Ms. D becomes the first ever
holder of the Television Title. Fans, that's all the time we have for this week.
Tune in next week for more WOW - Women of Wrestling!
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WOWF Federation File (goes in main ZeusPro directory)
Moves List (goes in "moves" directory)
Lee Marshall Commentary File (goes in "commentary" directory)
David McLane Commentary File (goes in "commentary" directory)
Bobby "The Brain" Heenan Commentary File (goes in "commentary" directory)
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