One very useful tool to help you teach personal safety to your child is the “What If” game. In this game you come up with questions or situations and your child comes up with the answer. For example:
Parent: Let’s pretend that you are home alone and the phone rings. You pick up the phone and it’s someone that you don’t know. They start asking you who you are and if your parents are home. What do you do?
Let your child answer. It’s okay if they get a wrong answer. It’s better to make the mistake with you rather than with a stranger. If they do get a wrong answer, don’t insult or belittle them. Help the child reach the right answer. Teach him/her. Don’t get angry with them.
If the child gives you the right answer probe on. For example:
Parent: Suppose an old man came up to you and said that he lost his puppy and he needs you to help him find it. Would you go?
Child: No.
Parent: Suppose an old man came up to you and said that he lost his kitten and he needs you to help him find it. Would you go?
Child: Yes.
Parent: Why?
Child: That’s easy. A kitten needs more help finding his way home than a puppy does.
What happened here is that the child did not understand the concept of staying away from strangers like the parent thought. Instead it was the puppy vs. the kitten that helped him decide. If the parent assumed that the child understood after the first question they would have never known the truth without probing further. Always ask why.
Some examples to use for “What If” games are: being home alone and doorbell ringing or phone ringing, getting separated from parents at a public place, playing in a park and a stranger asks them personal questions about their name and where they live, different stranger scenarios, familiar people touching them, etc. Make up your own for any situation you fear may come up.
Role Playing:
This is similar to the “What If” game except that instead of just asking questions, you act out the situations above with a child. For example:
Parent: I’m a stranger approaching you in a car. Hey kid, how about a lollipop.
Child: No thanks.
Parent: Now I’m a different stranger. Hey kid, your mom just called and said that your dad is hurt and she wants me to take you to meet them at the hospital. Hop in.
Child: No way. (or) What’s the codeword.
Stories:
Tell the child a story about a situation and then ask follow-up questions such as: Is it a safe or unsafe situation, What is the rule, What can you do or say, Who can you tell, etc.
Books and Videos:
Children’s literature is great for teaching children about personal safety. Stories for children are usually told in a way that children can understand. Do not just read the story, however. Discuss it with the child and make sure that everything is understood and that everything that was mentioned above is taught. For a list of great books and videos see my Personal Safety Resources page.
Audio Tapes or CDs and Games:
These are good reinforcers of lessons taught, but they should not be used as a substitute. For a list of great game and tapes see my Personal Safety Resources page.
The Stranger Promise: This is a certificate that the Middletown Police Department in Connecticut came up with to help children learn about avoiding strangers. Print it out and let the children put it somewhere close by. To view the certificate, click here.
Safety Rules For Children:
This is a list of rules that your children read and agree to follow. Have them sign their name on the bottom, and go over it often. When they are going out alone, ask them if they remember the safety rules. To view this page click here.
