"biography"
...of sorts
John Larkin was born in Yorkshire, England, on April 20, 1963. Other people born in this date are quite a few famous dudes I've never heard of, and more notably Adolf Hitler, in 1989. He sailed in a ship to Australia (yes, Adolf Hitler sailed in a ship to Australia, who do you think I'm talking about?) and grew up in the western suburbs of Sydney. Come year ten (high school), John was in the second lowest english class where, and I quote, "verbs were doing words". Because or maybe not because of this (?), he left school at the age of sixteen to play soccer (or as 'Pommy land' calls it, 'football'. Which makes sense, doesn't it? On account of you're kicking a ball with your foot... I digress) ...to play football for the national league with Blacktown city. He hung his boots up at age twenty one. Possibly because John realised how silly the idea of "running around a grassy field chasing a sack of air" was... and also because of a series of knee injuries...
(knee injuries! "SLASH!
"There! It is done!"
"What do ya mean? I'm still standing!"
"But I just right-angled your knee!"
"No ya didnt."
"Then whats that right there?"
"A mere scratch! I've gotten worse!"
"You liar!"
WACK! SLASH! HACK!")
(Sorry, couldn't help myself!)
John Larkin obviously became much much better at english, because he received a BA in English literature and an MA in creative writing from Maquarie university. Which is pretty impressive, if I do say so myself, which I do... from then till now, Larkin has written a hell of a lot of books (sixteen by my reckoning, give or take a few due to amnesia (I'm getting old in my old age)) the latest of which is called 'The pacifists guide to self-flagellation'. i advise you to look up what self-flagellation means is if you don't know already... and also pacifist, guide, the and to as well, just in case... and you will find this is an incredibly funny title! really! (hey, I don't make people trawl through dictionaries for nothing) ...you can buy the pacifists yaddi-yadda at angus & roberton's or if you don't have the internet, then you aren't even reading this page, but you can find it in bookshops... and if they don't have it, hound the guy behind the counter to get it for you!!! Heh heh- I finally bought it, and it's great!
(It's also a good book to read if you're disgusted with this biography!)
Enough of that. We left our hero...
John Larkin now lives in Sydney with his wife and three children. He hates gardening, economics, yapping dogs, spiders, game shows etcetera etcetera and is 'the worst handyman on the planet'. John likes tennis, reading and movies. And some other stuff, I guess... Aims in life: retire to a lighthouse in Ireland, or a cottage in the Yorkshire dales. Or both? Don't ask me, I'm just the girl who reads the back of books :)