-The NAME-
"Fuck the casualty." I leap onto Heero's bed, not caring
if my action would endanger further to his wounds. I was far too angry to think
about that. "You are a fucking idiot, Heero Yuy."
Okay, I have to admit that when he said "I do not love her", my heart was racing
with joy and I could swear that I heard angels singing in my head. But he later
speech is just making me mad and angry. What has that bitch done to him?
"You have been keeping this the whole time in you? You
have been shouldering this responsibility , this pain all along?" My fingers
are still tightening on Heero's arms. "You do not know how to love a person?
Then why the hell did you kill her for? BAKA! You love people!
Unlike Relena, you accept what they are and you want to protect that! Relena did not know
anything."
What is that crazy bitch thinking? She thought that just because she changed Heero
into this emotionless zombie she could change the whole world into what.. fuck, I don't
even know what the fuck she was thinking.
"She is delusional, living in her ideal world. It is true about all those
misunderstandings and doubts. It is true that it would be easier if we are all 'one'
and everything is crystal clear to each and one of us. But that's not life. To
live is to be able to smile to cry to be scared and to be angry. You understand
that. You know what I am talking about even though you don't see it."
Ah, why does he still bear that cold stare. Come on, Koi. I am sorry about my
weakness. I should not have doubt your love. I should not have missed your
action of affection. I was too wrapped up and confused and too jealous of Relena.
It was my fault to let you think that Relena is right. Heero, don't let me
screw up again. I promise I will think before I speak. I promise I will make
sure my words go through my brain before make it known to the world. I promise I
will understand your more. I promise I will trust your love. I promise I will
be strong for you. I promise I will rescue you from your inner devil. I
promise you life. I promise you anything.. just so that you will come back to me.
Just so that you will see my love and try to love me once again. Please
don't shut me away.
"You do know how to love. You love people so much that you are willing to stain
blood on your hand to prevent Relena from stripping their lives. If you are indeed
the cold-hearted person like she accuses you of, you would have stood her side yet again
and watch the world goes down without a care. Heero no baka! You do know how to
love." I lock my eyes on my koi and make sure that my words are getting to him by
repeating my last sentence with deliberate articulation. "You do know how to
love."
Love me, Heero.
With that last repetition, I lose my grip on Heero and descend back on the ground. I
turn away from the familiar hospital bed of Heero's and slowly pace to the window of the
hospital. I open the window and inhale the fresh air of the morning. I need to
be calm to deal with this. Can't push Heero back to his inner self again.
Gosh, I have not slept for 5 days... Now I think of it, my butt is still hurting from
sitting on that damn hard chair for too long. But it was worth it. When the
doctor told me the chances of Heero surviving that explosion, I almost killed the poor
guy. I had my hands around his neck and was going to twist his triangular-shaped
head from his body before Trowa stopped me. I couldn't help it. I was worried
and I was edgy. And that stupid doctor was telling me something that I did not want
to hear...... but then finally Heero, beating all odds.......
"What is your name?"
Eh? I swirl around and see that pair of warm cobalt eyes focusing on me. Warm?
Yes, it is definitely warm. Not the dead one when I first saw him in the
market. Not the impersonal one during the time I spent at the palace. Not the
horrified one before the explosion. Not the manic one when he was recounting his
past. It is none of those. Instead, it is a definitely warm and humane pair of
cobalt eyes. They make him looks even more handsome than ever before.
"You finally want to know my name ne?" There is no mirror in the room.
But I could just picture how my big fat smile is displaying on my face.
"Ah"
Sheesh. Still stingy about his breath. But then hey, I understand his way now.
It is subtle but it's there.
"So I guess you will be around long enough to use my name ne? Yeah, keep
calling me 'koi' just gets a bit boring after awhile, don't you think?"
Oh shit. Me and my big smart-ass mouth. Judging from his infamous glare, I
guess I push a bit too far there. Ah, what the hell. He is a patient on bed
after all. Shouldn't make him work too hard to get what he wants ne?
"The name is Duo. Duo Maxwell." I carelessly toss my briad behind my back
and fix my violet eyes with his blue ones. "I run, I hide, but I don't lie.
Nice to meet ya."
Oh, I just love the way he smiles.
* * *