-The Past-
Heero woke up to a pair of worried violet eyes.
As Heero blinks more, that pair of violet eyes slowly turn to anger.
"What the fuck did you think you are doing!?"
Heero feel pain. He tries to get up but his body is not listening to his commands.
The braided young man's angry voice slowly reduces to subbing. "Why the fuck
did you blow up the whole fucking palace for? Do you really REALLY hate me for
touching your wife's things? I only touched one pen. ONE LOUSY PEN! Are you
going to blow up the whole world if I were to pick up her book? You must be crazy.
Heero Yuy, you are a crazy son of a bitch! You act like I have stained her
pretty little room! You can just say in my face that you love her. God damn
it, admit that you love her, Heero Yuy and move on! Why did you do this to yourself?
You almost got yourself killed! I do not...."
"Shut up." Heero finally struggles to get on a sitting position. He
looks at his koi, who is drainched with tears.
"I do not worry about you at all! Heero Yuy!" The braided baka yells Heero
in the face, making it sound as convincing as possible. "From now on, you live
in your own little world and I will not even set a footstep in to your life okay?
Just stop doing all this crazy act...stop killing yourself..."
Heero just look at him, trying to process his words in his brain. And it comes to
Heero's realization that the man in front of him thinks that he loves Relena.
HE LOVES RELENA?
Heero gives a loud long laugh. How ironic. His koi thinks that he is in love
with that Relena? Heero couldn't stop his laugh. He laughs until his stomach
cringes in pain. He laughs until his tears cloud his eyes. Years of hidden
emotion all leak out with this one single long laugh.
Everyone is shocked. Even the braided american stopped babbling.
When Heero finally steady himself, his composed mask slowly return to his face, yet the
madness still present in his cobalt eyes. He locks his eyes to his koi.
"I do not love her." Heero pauses and then slowly, his lips form a
smirk. "I killed her and I took her body to our ship and sailed to the ocean.
And then I disposed her body there. I suppose I should have just burned it
and then no one will ever find out. " Heero gives a shrug and then scans
through the faces of his friends. His eyes are cold, betraying no regret nor fear.
Trowa looks like he is lost in the sea of thoughts. His koi, on the other hand, just
bear an unreadable stare. Finally, he manages to form a single word from his dry
mouth.. "Why?"
Heero glares at his koi. He does not want to relive that day again. Yet in his
eyes, Heero sees the importance of his confession of his crime. He will either lose
this man for the deed he had done or he will get the answer and forgiveness that he has
been searching.
"She loved me from the beginning. She is determined to have me from the moment
she saw me. She requested that I shall be called in for the service.. and the
I shall be trained with the best so that I could become her bodyguard. Not to her
disappointment, I made it, sacrificing all my emotions and feeling and losing myself..
Finally she request that we have a fake marriage so that I could protect her."
Heero closes his eyes, he could still hears her that night when she called him into her chamber.
::You do not have the capability to love anyone.
You heart is cold. Your mission in life is to protect me::
"She was right. I did not love anyone enough to leave my mission. I stood
by her side and played my part. She was a good Queen. I respected her for she
was just and determined. But I refuse to accept her love. It was my coldness
toward her passion that drove her to focus on her mission to bring peace in the world.
She worked day and night to make sure that her ultimate ideal peace would come
true. I was satisfied, until the day she presented me her peace plan."
Heero clenched his fists, reliving the day that doom him in hell. He is not surprise
that he could still recalling her exact words.
" ::Peace:: Relena said, :: is not possible in this physical world.
Where there are people, there is fight. And in order to eliminate that,
all people should perish... leaving only the mind because it is the physical form that
render us the inability to communicate with each other truthfully and totally.
Misunderstanding, doubts, fear, jealousy are all the reason that ignite the endless
quarrel between human beings.::"
Heero pauses, remembering her eyes glittered with
determination and her voice full with enthusiasm. A touch of madness mixed in that
angelic voice of hers.
"Therefore, she told me that she had gathered talent scientists and starts to build
this machine call EVA. To destroy mankind physical form, leaving only the mind and
unity. Where people could communicate freely and directly, where people do not judge
others by their beauty, their race nor their sexes.
I do not conform with her. It is a massacare. And that has broken off our last
connection. I suppose it was my fault that had driven her mad but it was too late.
She had lost her sanity. The machine was built and completed."
"When she turned around proudly to retrieve the blueprint of the machine for me, I
formed my mission plan. I took her crystal pen and stabbed into her heart. It
was a clean one. She died in a matter of seconds."
Heero closed his eyes, recalling Relena's look when she turned around. First her eyes were
wide with disbelieves but then it slowly it turned into joy. Yes, it was a faint joy
that finally displayed in her eyes before that flicker of liveliness faded with her last
breath, as if she was thankful that Heero had finally relieved her from her own demon.
"My next task was to find out where the machine was hidden. It only took me a
few minutes to hack into her computer to find out that the incomplete machine was buried
underneath this palace. I know I had to destroy the machine right then.. but it was
not the right time. If I were to blow up the palace, the whole world would be in
chaos and there would be plenty of people that would take advantage of it. So I eliminate
the possible corrupted people and leaving the good rulers. I have assassinated over
hundreds of people in the past year, except the young nobility of Roberta Winner."
Heero slowly raised his hands as if he is expecting trace of blood trickling down from his
palm.
"I was to complete my mission by blowing up the palace... however, this thief shows
up.....and my mission was delayed. I wanted to know if Relena is wrong"
::You do not have the capability to love anyone, You heart is cold. Your
mission in life is to protect me::
"I thought that maybe I am capable of loving another human being. But in the end, she
was right. I am in no condition to love anyone. I do not know how to love or how to
care. Therefore, my original plan of blowing up the palace was resumed"
King Yuy appears to be breathless. He has never talked this much before. When
his breathing finally comes down to normal, he lifts up his head and for the first time
his eyes meets Trowa's eyes. "What is the casualty?"
"Fuck the casualty!" Before Trowa could even open his mouth, the braided man
leapt onto Heero's bed and grabbed him by the arms. "You are a fucking idiot,
Heero Yuy."
* * *