"Finally." Wufei muttered aloud. He thought the screaming Deatscythe pilot was never going to shut up. Duo’s mouth was big enough when he was normal, but get him angry, and Wufei swore the villages in Africa were awakening.

But whatever had upset Duo so much was apparently dealt with now. Either that or the two pilots had ended up killing each other. Now that would solve a lot of problems… but also create a lot more than were solved.

As much as he made everyone believe that he couldn’t stand the American, Wufei knew that life without Duo now, just wouldn’t be life. He actually liked having the baka around. Sure, he could get pretty annoying sometimes, but in the midst of a blood war like this, everyone needed a little laughter now and then. You could always count on Duo "the mouth" Maxwell to keep everyone’s spirits high. Wufei felt like with Duo’s cheer always egging him on, he could go to sleep every night with a short lapse in memory of the day’s earlier heated battles.

Which reminded him, when was he going to actually get some real sleep?

‘I thought we’d already been through this, Chang.’

That damned inner voice of his.

‘We have. And we decided you were wrong.’

‘Oh, puh-leeze. You decided I was wrong. It wasn’t an unanimous vote.’

‘I’m tired. Can’t you just let me get a little rest this once?’

‘Heh, I can go all night.’

Wufei sighed.

‘Injustice.’

‘Now don’t get me started on that subject…’

* * *

The embrace was warm. He didn’t want to let go, not of this body, not of this night. The sensation of flesh against flesh, his bare chest pressed against Duo’s… this was something he had never experienced before. And he liked it… Lord have mercy on his soul, he liked it.

Duo removed his head off of Heero’s shoulder and placed his cheek in the crook of his neck, snuggling against the soft heated skin there. It was wonderfully warm in that pocket of juncture. Duo found himself longing for sleep to overpower his body at this exact moment in time.

"Is that what you really think of me?"

Man, God had been poking at him all this week. Just couldn’t let him win this one, eh?

Duo didn’t want to answer that right now. To answer that would require thinking, and he just wanted to stay in this haze of quiet forever. Duo Maxwell want quiet? Yes, it must be the end of the world.

"Hmm?"

"You called me an ‘uncaring bastard’. Is that what you really think of me?"

Duo started. He had forgotten he had said that. Hell, he had said a lot of nasty things directed in the vicinity of Heero Yuy’s pride. At the time he had wanted to do some inflicting, looks like he had gotten through. He sighed.

"No, I don’t."

"Then why did you say it?"

He realized that all these feelings were new to Heero, totally conflicting with what his training had taught him. In fact, from Heero’s training he had learned to take everything seriously. Duo guessed that he had taken his angered words seriously as well. He meant most of it, but then the derogatory slangs he had thrown at Heero were just said in a vicious rage that really had nothing to do with Heero, and everything to do with the ball of emotions he had been hiding for years. He knew he really didn’t mean those harsh words, but he had forgotten Heero wouldn’t know that.

"Because I was angry. Hell, I was pissed. You really fired me up, not to mention that half of that was things I had been wanting to release for years now. It was just my way of lashing out at you. I forgot you take everything I say to heart."

"So you don’t think I’m an uncaring bastard?"

"No."

Heero’s embrace tightened for a moment and then loosened again.

"But sometimes you do things that might make anyone else, if they didn’t know you like I do, think you were. I’ve just gotta keep reminding myself that you don’t think like the rest of us." Duo’s voice trailed off into a whisper against Heero’s skin.

The Wing pilot inhaled deeply.

Duo brought his face up and looked at Heero eye to eye.

"You’re a good person, Heero. I don’t care what that damned scientist told you. I don’t care what everyone has had you thinking all this time. You are human, and you are capable of emotions. They’ve just been… well... out of service for a while."

Duo smiled warmly.

"But that’s what I’m here for, y’know? Just call me Mr. Fix-It."

‘Way to go, that was a great line, Duo.’ His self-conscious lashed out.

‘Oh, screw off, buddy.’

‘Heh, not with lines like that.’

Duo mentally cursed himself for having such stupid conversation in his head. No wonder he talked all the time, the voices in his head were such a bore.

‘I heard that!’

‘Serves you right.’

"Duo?" Heero’s eyebrow rose.

"Hmm? Oh, sorry, I was just thinkin’"

Heero smiled. It was a full smile, not those half-ass smirks Duo had grown to hate. No, this one was different. And Duo could only find one word to describe it: unnerving.

Then the smile suddenly faded and a look of pure seriousness moved to claim Heero’s face. Something Duo had often found even more unnerving.

"Duo… what’s… what’s love?"

Duo jumped a little at the word. A word he had grown to hate. A word that brought nothing but death and disdain into his life. A feeling that he had wiped clean from his heart. It was an emotion that brought with it horrible scenes in his memory banks. Where had Heero learned such a nasty little word like ‘love’?

"N… nani?"

"Love."

Duo closed his eyes. Love? No such thing. But he couldn’t tell Heero that. Each person had to discover love for themselves. It wasn’t an emotion and process that you could just tell someone exactly how it is supposed to be. That wasn’t love.

"What… what kind of love, Heero?"

"Kind? There is more than one?"

Duo pulled back from the embrace and nodded his head. This would take some explaining.

"Well, there’s… um, family love for example." He nodded his head as of agreeing with himself.

"Family love?"

"Yeah. Like a father has with his son or a mother with her daughter." Duo pulled the sheets closer to his naked body. Suddenly he was feeling a slight chill.

"I see."

Heero somewhat understood this. He had never had a family of his own, but he knew how a unit operated. Throughout Heero’s years, he had learned from the people he met and the books he read that not having a family was rather… sad. It was something society tended to frown upon. However, he hadn’t been troubled at the fact he didn’t possess one. He wasn’t allowed to be distressed about not having loved ones. His training forbade and didn’t allow such feelings. He was more worried about how many ways you could kill a person with your bare hands and learning the exact modifications of flying a suit in space. Was he supposed to be upset about all the things he lacked in his "childhood"?

Well, Duo was.

But then, Duo hadn’t been subject to the same brutal training Heero had. Duo was allowed to have feelings and emotions, he even had the choice of expressing them. Not having them at all, Heero wasn’t able to have the small pleasure of even missing them. Of course, Heero knew his childhood and training had been harder than Duo’s, in his mind at least, but he could never show it like Duo did. Even if he wanted to, years of succumbing to the same routine was forever drilled into his mind. Furthermore, after Duo’s display tonight, he was beginning to wonder if feelings were actually worth the effort.

"And there’s love between friends." Duo continued.

"Friends?"

"Yes, even friends love each other." Duo bit his bottom lip for a moment. "It’s the part of you that would do anything to help that friend if they were in trouble. Or it would be the part that wanted to comfort that companion when they were sad. That kinda stuff. You stick your neck out for them. Kinda like what we Gundam pilots share… well, in my eyes, anyway."

This seemed a little more familiar with Heero. He may not really love the other pilots, but he did care what happened to them, another conflict to his training. However, did he care because they were important to the colonies’ success, or because they were important to him? He was a killing machine made for that purpose only. He wasn’t supposed to even remotely give a damn about what happened to the fellow pilots as long as each mission was completed. They were all expendable, after all, and he was taught not to hold onto things that wouldn’t be there forever. He was taught to grasp onto the tangible, the definite. That was something human life and emotions could never really be… definite.

"Are there more?"

"No." Duo answered quickly.

Heero’s eyebrow twitched. Duo knew he couldn’t lie to him. He never lied anyway.

"Yes." Duo inhaled deeply and shifted nervously. "It’s… uh… romantic love."

"Explain."

Duo scratched his head. This was the biggest part of the explanation that he dreaded.

"Well, it’s usually referred to as ‘in love’."

Heero nodded. He had heard this phrase before but never experienced it.

"You care for a person so much, that you feel some kind of connection with them that goes beyond friendship. You start to realize that you could live the rest of your life with this person, or couldn’t live another day without them. Being in love… can be painful." Duo winced visibly. "But it’s supposed to be the greatest thing that ever happened to you."

Heero contemplated this for a little while. ‘Care for a person’… he cared about Duo, he cared about all the pilots on some level… though he was still struggling to decipher what level that was.

‘Live the rest of your life with them’… he wouldn’t mind spending his life with Duo, at least he wouldn’t be alone anymore. After all, wasn’t that what everybody was looking for? Someone to keep them from being alone? Did it really matter what they meant to you?

‘Couldn’t live another day without them’… well, surely this didn’t apply to Heero because he didn’t need anything to survive. He was expendable and everything in his life was as well. So obviously this application of love didn’t have anything to do with him.

‘Painful’… everything was painful to Heero, especially Duo. Duo could cause him more pain than a bullet wound and he didn’t understand how. It hurt the most when he did something that directly upset Duo.

‘Greatest thing that ever happened to you’… well, so far that would have to be Duo. He was one of the only good things that had ever happened to Heero. He hadn’t even known what friendship was before him.

"Supposed to be?" Heero echoed Duo’s last sentence.

"Yeah… well… it never really worked out that way for me." Duo shrugged. "But that doesn’t apply to everyone."

"I think I understand."

Duo just silently nodded. This was as far as he wanted this conversation to tread. Sure Heero had said he understood, but Duo knew he didn’t. Duo knew that the changes that were coming around in Heero were much too quick and sudden. No person, especially one that hasn’t had emotions all his life, could be opened up in such a short time. Heero was rushing things and not thinking through his actions and words thoroughly. Of course Heero needed an open mind if Duo was ever to get him to be a real friend, which was what he was aiming for, but this was far to open. Duo considered the fact that maybe he was loading too much on Heero too soon. He should probably slow do---

"I love you, Duo."

Duo jumped off the bed, still stark naked, and stared at his partner in horror. Was this a figment of his imagination? Had he just heard what he thought he had?!

"What did you say…?"

"I said that I loved you."

‘Too fast… too fast… head spinning…’ Duo grabbed his temples and tried to calm his mind.

"No." Duo shook his head, long unbraided hair waving with his movements.

"Nani?" Heero raised an eyebrow in inquiry.

"Iie, you don’t."

"Demo… you fit all the qualifications for me loving you."

"No…" The room was shaking. Why wouldn’t the room stop shaking? Then Duo realized it was his own body that was shaking.

"No… love isn’t like that… love isn’t qualifications."

"But it only makes sense that---"

"No, it doesn’t make sense… no sense at all…"

Duo could feel an eerie cold spreading throughout his whole body. He was breaking out into a slight sweat and his knees were starting to buckle.

‘Not again… please not again… he doesn’t he doesn’t he doesn’t he doesn’t he doesn’t…’

"Take it back."

"What?"

"Take it back, damnit." Duo spat out.

Duo fell to his knees, his body trembling. No, this couldn’t be happening. This couldn’t be. No one loved him. No one was supposed to love him. Heero didn’t know what he was saying. He didn’t understand the meaning behind those three words. Yes, too fast, Heero was moving much too fast. All Duo wanted was a little more open ‘perfect soldier’, one that was kinder and maybe even a good friend to replace Solo. But this, this was a disaster. No one could love him. No one. To love Duo was to embrace death, to die. He wouldn’t let another love him, he wouldn’t let another die because of him. Never would he make that mistake again.

"Why?"

"It doesn’t matter… just take it back… you don’t know what you’re doing. You don’t understand at all."

Duo felt a sickening taste straining into his mouth. His stomach was queasy and he felt like he was drowning.

"You don’t love me, you don’t. I won’t lose another. I won’t be responsible again. You don’t."

Heero didn’t understand. What was he babbling about? Lose another? Did he think something was going to happen to Heero?

"Duo---"

"Leave."

"Nani?"

Duo flung an arm towards the door. He couldn’t look up at Heero. He just kept his face dug between his legs. The only protection he had from the cold room and his own nakedness was the curtain of shimmering hair enveloping him. The moonlight reflected off the streams of rain clinging to the window. It created an odd play of shadows upon the body shaking on the cold wood floor.

The mask was completely gone now, shattered into a million tiny fragments. No one had ever seen Duo like this, in this vulnerable human state, and he wasn’t about to let Heero see him like this. He needed to be alone. He needed to be himself… Duo. Breathing became hard and he motioned to the door again with his head still hung low.

"Leave… please… just leave."

Heero didn’t know what to do. Obviously Duo was in pain again. He had said something to upset the other boy.

‘No, there’s that knife again.’ Heero touched the skin over his heart. He was so confused. He thought this was what Duo had wanted. But now Duo only wanted to be left alone. How was he supposed to clean up the mess this time? He couldn’t do it by himself. He needed to talk to someone; he needed to talk to Duo. Obviously that was out of the question.

With a heavy heart Heero rose off the bed and headed for the door, not saying a word. If Duo wanted to be alone, Duo would get what he wanted. After all, that’s what he had been trying to do in the first place… give Duo what he wanted. Obviously though, this hadn’t been it. He quietly shut the door behind him. With a faint click Duo realized he was now in fact, very much alone.

Inside and out.

Duo cradled himself on the floor, trying to regain his fading breath. He could feel the black engulfing him again. Slowly the thunder and beating rain against the window of the room faded out, and all he could see was the black coming over, and all he could hear was his ragged breaths and his voice getting weaker.

"He doesn’t… he doesn’t… he doesn’t… he doesn’t…"

* * *

"Ah!"

Wufei let out a short gasp as the body above him thrust deeply, touching places he didn’t even know existed. A tender hand reached out and caressed the side of Wufei’s cheek, teasing the corner of his mouth with his thumb. Wufei’s throat growled out in pleasure. The sensations were overwhelming. Sweated, sticky flesh grazing against the alike. A lock of his midnight black hair fell into his eyes, and the hand that was rested on his cheek gently brushed it away. The mere touch of those eloquent fingers sent Wufei into spirals of pleasure.

"Unn…"

Wufei moaned in pleasure as Treize pumped deeply into him again, sending the Shenlong pilot into a journey powered by sheer ecstasy. Treize’s hand slid down the Chinese boy’s taught stomach, and stopped when it gripped the erect flesh pointing to the Heavens. A low growl sprang from Wufei’s throat as the older man began a slow sensual dance over his shaft. And just when Wufei believed another second would break him into a million fragile pieces…

BOOM!!!

The shaking boy awoke with a start, instantly moving into a sitting position. A drop of sweat trickled down his forehead and fell onto his nose, tickling it slightly. Wufei shook his head violently, attempting to get his bearings straight. He looked about him, trying to make odds and ends of the complete darkness.

BOOM!!!

Wufei turned his head quickly to the adjacent window. He watched as a crack of lightening sprang forth and bolted to the ground, illuminating his sleeping quarters for a brief moment in time. He wiped the sticky sweat from his face and laid his tense body back against the bed.

"I was asleep…" Wufei mused to himself. "It was all just a dream… I can’t even get a break in my dreams."

‘And you know why, don’t you?’

"Not you again, damnit, leave me be."

‘Hmph, don’t say I didn’t warn you.’

For an insane moment, Wufei entertained the sudden urge to take his sword out of the sheath and slit his wrists in a blaze of red glory. At least he could finally get some sleep. Ignore the fact that it would be permanent sleep.

‘That’s not funny, Chang.’

"Of course not, you’re my conscious. You don’t have a sense of humor."

‘Oh… you… you… just go back to sleep!’

"Gladly."

* * *

Heero padded silently down the hallway of the upper floor. The old safe house was surprisingly large and there were other rooms he could venture to spend the night in. The floorboards creaked in protest of his walking. As much as he yearned to be in human presence right now, a strange longing he almost never experienced, he wouldn’t dare go downstairs and disturb Quatre and Trowa. They deserved their peace… besides, those were not the humans he yearned to be present with. And as for Wufei… sometimes Heero felt he was more of a loner than himself. Heero respected Wufei for this and granted him his need for privacy.

He looked back down the hallway at the shadowy door he had just exited. He had granted Duo privacy as well. Hmph. Running away from Heero’s own room. His nose scrunched into a scowl. He had run from his problems like a frightened child. What was happening to him? Why had he suddenly become such a weak person? Soldiers could not be weak. Heero grit his teeth and turned to begin his journey again.

Every step turned the knife deeper into his chest. Every muffled footstep mocked him.

‘Alone.’

‘Alone.’

‘Alone.’

It seemed every creak in the floor repeated the same drawn out word. A word that had never really meant much to him before. That was before…

After all, Heero had been alone all his life. Even when he was in the company of other people, he was always alone. Friends, family, companions… these things were all liabilities. He choose this lifestyle… no, rather, this lifestyle had been chosen for him. It was acceptable. Maybe not always preferable, but acceptable. After all…

Loneliness was livable.

‘Alone.’

‘Alone.’

Loneliness was required.

‘Alone.’

‘Alone.’

Loneliness was adequate.

‘Alone.’

‘Alone.’

Heero stopped in front of the empty bedroom at the end of the hall and placed his fingertips on the doorframe, the other hand grasping the brass doorknob with harsh strength. His eyes involuntarily shut tight.

Loneliness was HELL.

* * *

Wufei waited patiently for the muffled sound of a door clicking shut before he arose from his bed and crept through the dark to his doorway. He brushed back some stray strands of hair and leaned silently against his doorframe.

How was he supposed to get any sleep around here with people walking up and down the halls at all times of night? He looked across the room to his window and noticed the wind and rain had really lightened up.

‘The storm must be moving on.’ He thought to himself.

Wufei could have sworn he heard cursing coming form the room someone had just previously entered.

‘Maybe it stopped outside… but I’m not so sure about inside…’ He turned towards his closed door.

Hesitantly, his hand gripped the doorknob. He decided to step out into the hall and get a better listen to the noises of the household. Maybe eavesdropping wasn’t the most honorable of activities he could participate in, but something was going on and he felt left out.

He was always left out.

A slight breeze of cold air caressed his face as he stepped out into the hall. The air was thick and the lighting even darker than his room with no windows to illuminate the hall.

Wufei sucked in a dry breath and shifted his shoulders nervously. There was something in the air he didn’t like. Something that made his insides churn a little. He exhaled deeply and made his way stealthily across the corridor to the adjacent room.

Wufei stopped a few steps short of the door, muscles tensed firmly. He heard someone talking inside. No, not talking… it almost sounded like chanting.

He took a step closer.

The almost inaudible sound continued.

He stepped even closer and put his ear against the door.

The voice was familiar… yet different. It had to be either Heero or Duo, of course. This was their room.

Wufei shook his head roughly. How stupid he must look out creeping through the dark and invading his fellow pilots’ privacy. He deducted it must be the extreme stress and lack of sleep he’s been conditioned to lately. Wufei turned to go back to his room and put an end to his foolishness.

And stopped…

That infernal chanting. He couldn’t get it out of his head. It sounded so despondent, so… sad. Surely it couldn’t hurt to just check in on the two pilots. After all, wouldn’t they do the same for him?

Wouldn’t they?

Wufei shook his head again to force out the depressing thoughts that would follow that question. Of course they would.

He lightly rapped on the door three times.

No answer.

No stop to the distant voice.

Wufei cleared his throat and rapped again, a tad harder.

No answer.

Still the chanting.

"Hello?"

No answer, but the chanting stopped.

"Heero? Duo? Is everything all right?"

The frail voice inside started speaking again, but still no answer.

Wufei inhaled deeply. There was something wrong about this. Something that made his blood turn cold. Against his better judgement, he found himself opening the door as if his hand had a mind of his own.

Wufei shivered the instant he walked in. The air was strangely cold and eerie in the room. It was no darker than the other bedrooms, and a few moments the room would light by a white streak of lightening. He crept a few more feet inside but didn’t see any sign of Heero or Duo. The voice, on the other hand, had stopped completely.

"Hello?"

No answer.

This was beginning to get quite unnerving.

From the space in between the only two beds in the room, Wufei could have sworn he heard a whimper. He cocked his head a little towards the sound.

There. Another whimper. It sounded strangely familiar.

"Duo?"

Under their own accord, Wufei’s feet swiftly glided him over to the source of the noise. Nothing could have prepared him for what he saw. The lightening blinked and thunder crashed in the distance.

Wufei gasped for air that his lungs suddenly seemed so short on.

Cradled on the floor was a whimpering, shaking, nude Duo Maxwell. Lightening flashed again.

Slowly, Wufei’s brain registered the repeated chanting of the fallen boy.

"He doesn’t…. he doesn’t…. he doesn’t….. he doesn’t…."