"Love Potion #9"
a Gundam Wing Fanfic

by the Princess

**WARNING: foul language, shounen-ai, characters frequently OOC...*

"Love is friendship set on fire."

-old Welsh proverb

~Part 3~

That night, with our mouths well-treated, we both went to the coffee shop where I'd met D'arcy after her date with Hiro. The beatnicks were there in abundance, dressed in black and reading bad poetry that didn't rhyme and snapping fingers and slurping cappuchinos. We spilt; I took one side of the room and he took the other, and I quickly found myself surrounded with a band of newfound groupies.

"You are, without question," a hot little brunette whispered as she slid her hands across my back, "the single sexiest man I have ever seen. Even better than Antonio Banderas."

"Or Nicholas Cage, even," a blonde boin said, winking, and then inserting her tongue into my ear. I made a weird noise of lust and wished for a jacket to cover my quickly heating crotch, when suddenly a big-eyed redhead wriggled into my lap and cuddled up against me, running her tongue over my neck.

"Holy shit," I managed to stammer, eliciting giggles from the gaggle of girls surrounding. I wasn't sure if it was natural for me to be *this* lucky.

"Duo?"

I quickly recognized the voice, and before I thought about the implications, I called out: "Trowa?"

"Hai." He was standing a little to my right, but the view was mostly blocked by a muscled black girl who could probabaly snap me in two. I *could* see his face, though, and watched with growing horror as his visible green eye slowly glazed over as he spoke: "Quatre and I were out and...and...and my, but you're looking handsome tonight."

"Isn't he, though?" giggled the redhead in my lap.

>Oh, FUCK!< I thought as Trowa launched himself in a flip, going over the heads of the thicket of women, and landed right next to the redhead in my lap. And if that didn't knock the wind out of me, then the enthusiastic kiss he laid on me certainly did.

I did my blessed best to struggle, but I had girls pinning back my arms. I tried to whip my head from side to side, but Trowa had me pinned up against the wall. I tried to worm out from underneath him, but the combined weight of him and the redhead had me stuck. I could feel her trying to squirm past Trowa and maybe get a few licks on me herself, but he was very firm on exploring the inside of my mouth all by his lonesome. I tried to scream, but his mouth muted mine, and no one could hear me over the giggling girls which surrounded me like prison walls.

Trowa's hair brushed up against my face as he dove in deeper, and I wanted to sneeze very badly. He was insistant, though, on not letting me breathe. I heard him moan in the back of his throat, then felt one of his hands squirm between our bodies, down to the fork of my jeans, and he deftly undid my zipper and slid his hand right on inside.

This time I didn't scream, I shrieked, and my whole body jerked a foot in the air. I couldn't see clearly, colorful spots of suffocation blurred my vision, I was feeling hands of all kinds crawling all over me like snakes, and I very nearly surrendered to the inevitable, when a furious alto shouted:

"TROWA, WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING?!?"

I felt half a dozen people jerk away from me all at once, including Trowa. I gasped in a huge breath of oh-so-sweet air and fumbled for my pants, which were somewhere around my knees. I yanked them up to my waist, then glanced up at the blonde fury who stood over me, and forgot to do my fly up.

It was Quatre. His angel's face had gone bright crimson. He was actually shaking all over, and his hands were clenched up tight into fists. Big, angry tears were dancing in his eyes, threatening to fall. Once again, I found myself the molested center of attention. "Trowa? What's the matter with you?" the heartbroken boy whispered. "Why would you do something like that?"

"But he's *soooooooo* cute," Trowa snickered, gliding his arms around me.

"Stop it!" I cried, knowing I made it worse, trying in vain to get away.

"You," Quatre stammered. "You...I loved you...how *could* you...and with Duo..." I suddenly realized that I'd spoken to Trowa too loud when the Arab's baby blues glazed over. He smiled sweetly at me, the angry color draining out of his face. "Even though, I must admit, Duo is quite a sexy specimin indeed..."

"Come on," Bang-boy said, gesturing to his lover with the hand that wasn't pinning my mouth shut. "We'll *share* him, how's that sound? Ladies, make some room--"

I saw Hiro coming up behind Quatre, and did my best to plug up my ears. He grabbed up Quatre in a stranglehold, and said something to the entire crowd of people, I don't know what it was. But they all started blinking and holding their heads, like they'd gotten a universal headache. Trowa made a noise of surprise and jerked away from me like I had the plague. Everyone around me stood up, looking more than a little dazed and confused, and drifted away to other parts of the coffee bar. Trowa and Quatre, both giving me weird looks, left the shop hand in hand, like nothing had occurred.

I gave Hiro a questioning look. He shrugged, then looked around for a pen and paper. He got a pen, and wrote the following on it: "I thought that maybe if people were expozed to double the charm, it would be nullified. I didn't catch you, did I?"

I shook my head no. Then I got an idea for some mischief. I quickly wrapped my arms around Hiro's waist and snapped him up close to me, running my fingers through his hair, and pretended to move in for a kiss. His eyes went wide, his jaw dropped and he wrestled away from me faster than I thought he would. He backed away a few feet, looking at me warily, as I picked up the dropped pen and napkin and scribbled down:

"Scared you shitless, didn't I?"

He gave me a dirty look, but the smile that broke out over his face ruined the threat. He went back to his corner, where a group of chicks eagerly awaited his arrival, but I had lost my taste for getting any for the night. I left the coffee shop, and walked around on the streets until it was in the wee small hours and I realized I didn't know where I was, and I found myself standing outside Madame Acchi Ikeyo's magic shop.

Not a whit of it had changed; I might as well have been back a few days in time, when I first came across the place. The CLOSED--BLESSED BE sign was nowhere to be seen, so I decided to let myself in. She *had* wanted to know about the effectiveness of the potion, after all.

The bell dinged as I opened the door and went in. The insense smell, this time of vanilla, was just as heavy and thick in the air. Acchi Ikeyo Butsoyo herself was seated in the exact same position I'd last seen her, except that her sweet brown hair was in loose, thick curls rather than in the ponytail I'd last seen. Her Oriental-looking amber eyes glinted at me. "Merry meet, Duo," she said softly as I sat down in the chair opposite of her. "Feel free to speak, for I am immune to all but the most potent of potions. A natural immunity, you might say. How is the potion working?"

"A little too well," I admitted, and told her about the events at the coffee house.

"I warned you about close friends, didn't I?"

"Yeah, but that's not the half of it." I told her about Hiro charming a limousine out of Kusaiyo Butsoyo ("My sister!" the Gypsy exclaimed); about Franklin Bilestone and Punjab ("The driver sounds like a good egg,"); about the Russian Tea Room #105 ("I must use a bit of potion myself and go there,"); the hostess ("How horrid!"), Marcia ("How lucky!"), and Neine Rasputin ("I have a sister working for her father!"); finally, about the permanent retirement of my virginity ("I am so proud of you!"). When I was through detailing the events of the night before, I asked her: "So Hiro was right. When you double the charm, the entire thing is nullified. Thank God he came when he did, or else Quatre and Trowa would have hated me in the morning."

"Yes, that is an aspect of the potion which I was unaware of," she admitted.

"Nani? There's something about it that you *didn't* know?"

She pinked a little in embarrassment. "As you were quick to point out when we met, Duo, I am young. I had never tried to mix a love potion before. I had the recipe from a sister in Pakistan, but I never even dreamed that it'd work as well as it did."

"Chotto matte. You were using me as a--a trial run?!"

"Well, yes," she said, flushing a little more. "Don't think that it would have killed you or turned you into a bedpan if it had backfired, either. With a minor potion such as this, a failure to correctly mix it would have simply led to a bad taste in your mouth for a while and no luck with women. Nothing permanent. I would have given you a refund," she offered, "partially, anyhow, but it *worked*! It worked perfectly! Now, if you could only learn to keep your mouth shut unless you *know* who you're talking to, then you'll be well on your way." She paused, and a coy smile touched her lips. "Have you spoken with D'arcy recently?"

"Well, uh, no."

"Why not?"

"I dunno. I chickened out." I told her about how I had nearly spoken to D'arcy on the night of the Russian Tea Room. "I was afraid that it wouldn't work, I guess."

"Well, now you know it will. And it's been over a day since you found that it'd work. What are you waiting for, Yule? A sign written in the stars by the hand of the Goddess? You know that it works for an absolute fact, so what on earth is keeping you?"

I couldn't think of anything intelligent to say to that. "I don't know, now that I think about it."

"Well, if you thought more, then perhaps you wouldn't be alone tonight." I opened my mouth to protest, but she raised her hand for silence. "Do *not* argue with the psychic. I foresee that you will join with her and find your one true love in the next two days. And reading what my crystal ball has told me about you is no trial run; I've been doing that since I was five. Still and all, use the potion. You will not have the self-confidence to face D'arcy on your own, I think, so use it, but use it lightly!"

I nodded. "Is there a charge for this?"

"For the advice, no. The reading, though, is ten dollars."

I dug around in my wallet and my pockets, and eventually came up with the money. She smiled, counted, and I suddenly found myself back on the street, the door swinging shut behind me, with the CLOSED sign clearly displayed. I shrugged, wrote it off to getting dizzy from the insense, and went back towards the apartment.

Acchi Ikeyo's familiar, a small green garden snake, slid out of the dark curls around her neck and slithered up her arm. >Tell me, miss,< it said, weaving itself gamely through her fingers, >do you think it wise that you left so much unsaid?<

"There lies a purpose in everything," she replied softly, her amber eyes alternating between watching the snake and the doorway. "Worry not about Duo Maxwell. I have read his future, and his path is one which has many twists and turns and heartbreaks, but will end in happiness. It will be fascinating to see all that I have seen play out."

>This is well known to me, Acchi Ikeyo. Was it not I who gave you your psychic prowess, as well as your immunity to the magic you work?<

"I haven't forgotten that."

>You haven't, I know, but you have avoided my question. Was it wise for you to not tell him about the twice-over betrayals that lay in his path?<

"He was not meant to know that yet. He will find out soon enough."

The snake paused, coiled around her thumb's knuckle, as if in thought. >Soon enough, yes,< it conceded. >But the hard way.<

Hiro didn't make it home that night. I went straight back to the apartment after I left Acchi Ikeyo's shop, and he wasn't there. It was past three in the morning, and I saw no way that I would be able to make it back to work on time in the morning. 9 to 5 was murder. I didn't even think of calling D'arcy at that hour. So I went straight to bed and didn't really think too much about Hiro's absence, until the alarm woke me in the morning at 8 on the dot and I sent the clock flying across the room. I crawled into the bathroom and took a shower, then hopped in my priest's clothing and went down the hall to the living room, intending to go in the kitchen, but I stopped dead.

Hiro was crashed out on the couch. There were two--count 'em--two women with him, both dead asleep, one cradled in his arms, the other laying splayed across him and the other woman. I only had to look at the two ash-blonde boins for a few seconds before I saw that they were identical twins. Various bottles and crap were strewn across the carpet, as well as some stubbed-out cigarettes ( >The super's gonna have a litter of kittens and a flying cow when he sees that,< I thought). Next to the couch itself was a sizable bottle of Jack Daniel's, drained so that only a thin coating of amber remained at its bottom, along with an empty carton of milk.

>Holy God, they used *milk* as a chaser?!< I thought dazedly. >How the fuck did they wreak this much havoc without waking me up? I must have been wasted...<

I swallowed heavily. My mouth had suddenly gone dry. I was grateful that I had not eaten yet, because my stomach did an involuntary heave, and I felt acid boiling in the back of my throat.

>Or is it jealousy?<

I ran into the kitchen and quickly poured myself a bowl of Cocoa Crispies, trying to outrun that thought, but it caught up with me anyhow, especially when I found no milk in the fridge. >Jealous,< that malicious little voice said. >You're jealous of Hiro, you always have been, you're jealous that he can get chicks and all you can get is molested by Trowa, or maybe you're jealous because you want to be one of those girls lying there naked beside him, did you consider THAT, did you realize that you want to go over there right now and--<

I didn't finish the thought, didn't bother with breakfast. I left the apartment the way I was:

Hungry and alone.

When I got back from work, Hiro had left again. God only knew where he'd gone, and I didn't care.

>Liar--<

I had been starving all day, but now that I was home, I wasn't going to eat. I instead went directly to my room, and scrounged around in my old tux until I found the bottle of love potion. I resolutely sprayed my mouth, marched over to the phone, picked it up and dialed D'arcy's number.

"Hello?" she said on the third ring, and I nearly hung up, but I stuck with it.

"D'arcy? It's Duo. How are you?"

A pause. "Great, now that you've called. How are you?"

"Beautiful. Everything's cool in the world. What are you doing tonight?"

I took a taxi to where she lived, and found her waiting outside for me. She was wearing her hair long and loose, in a delicious red spill down her back. Her dress was very short, only an inch away from becoming a t-shirt, but I can't recall what color it was for the life of me. I do remember, though, that it was so tight on her body that I could almost read the dates on the coins in the little penny-pocket on her left breast.

"Lucky fella," the driver commented, grinning at me. "Hey, if she's your sister, then can I have her?"

I had already spoken to him, so he wasn't going to fall underneath the potion's spell. "Naw, that's my girl," I said hoarsely, and realized I had never said that about anybody before.

D'arcy hopped into the taxi beside me, smiling with her perfect white teeth and full lips. "So, Duo," she said, tangling her fingers up in mine, "feel like taking a girl out to dinner?"

"No, I'm just here to practice a little ninjitsu," I quipped. "Or is it yoga? I never can tell." I crossed my eyes and looked at the tip of my nose. "Om."

She laughed, her cheeks pinking, and I noted once again that her freckles were the cutest damn thing I'd ever seen. She laughed even harder when my stomach made me a liar and growled obscenely loud. "You sound hungry to me."

"In all kinds of ways, baby," I replied, eliciting a little embarrassed squeak and a mild slap across the face.

The driver shook his head and ran a red light in his glee.

There was nothing like young love.

Disclaimer

The Gundam boys and anything pertaining to Gundam Wing belong to the creators of the show, not to me, no matter how hard I wish. They are being used without permission for fun, not profit. If you don't know this, then you are a sad sack of shit. Go crawl under a rock and wither up and die. Also, "Love Potion #9" (the movie and the song ) belongs to their writers, and not me; any semblances between the plot of this fanfic and that movie were done very much intentionally. Get over it.

In contrast, D'arcy, the Butsoyo clan, the Rasputins, and any characters not belonging to the Gundam franchise are mine, and may not be used without my permission (God only knows why anyone would want to use them, but...). If you do use them without asking me first, I'm going to get Acchi Ikeyo (which, incidently, means "Go away!") to put a curse on you so nasty that I don't even know what would happen...

On to Part 4

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